Rory Markas (right) with Mark Gubicza.

​Memorial services this week for Angels play-by-play announcer Rory Markas will be private. …More >>

​With so much bad news coming out of Haloland lately--goodbye, Figgy, Lackey and Rory--it was refreshing to receive this from the OC Weekly reception area's No. 1 Angel fan.

Not sure where Becky Drake got this, but Clockwork hereby seconds her assessment of it:

"Best Thing EVER!"

​As anyone following your Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim knows, free agency will likely create big holes the Halos must fill to remain a top tier playoff contender. A die-hard who realizes this oh-so-well is Stephen Smith over at FutureAngels.com, which today presents a painstakingly researched list of top 10 Angel prospects. 

Smith talked with at least one coach or manager for each player, examined statistical analyses and conducted his own extensive research. "For the Midwest League players, I also had access to a manager with another organization who was generous enough to provide a second opinion," he adds.

For fans who want to know anything and everything about each player they may be seeing in the bigs very soon, Clockwork STRONGLY RECOMMENDS clicking on Smith's link above. He's even got video of each farm hand! Until then, the crib-sheet version follows after the jump . . .

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Take a picture of Lackey, it will last longer.

​The Angels have a tough decision to make: Do they try to keep pitching ace John Lackey or spark plug Chone Figgins?

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So your Anaheim Angels of Anaheim lost the American League Championship Series to the New York Yankees because of a shocking loss of their trademark sharp play (seriously, guys: that error in the bottom of the eighth?). Whatever--let's move on to meatier issues.

SO...at a carne asada Sunday event, I met someone who works as a chauffeur. This driver has driven New York Yankees to their hotel when they visit and has the pictures to prove it--for the playoffs, they stayed at the Island Hotel in Newport Beach, according to the chauffeur. All except two players, that is: A-Roid and another player I'll assume is another of their big names (Mark Teixera? Derek Jeter) but whom the person couldn't identify because they're not a baseball fan.

Awright, readers: in what hotel did the chauffeur say Alex Rodriguez stayed at in Orange County during the playoffs, away from his teammates? One hotel per guess, and the winner gets a baseball autographed by a random Weekling! Quick aside: the chauffeur said the Island Hotel lobby was PACKED with chicks trying to seduce any Yankee within their tanned grasp.

And now, the upcoming World Series!

DUI-OrangeCounty.com

What pen, officer?

​As this keyboard is being drooled over, the Angels have taken a 4-0 lead over the Yankees in the first inning of Game 5 of the ALCS.
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If the lead held by the time you read this, that means there will be no need to drown season-ending sorrows and go driving through Garden Grove Saturday night.

However, there's a whole lot of baseball left, and Game 6 (if necessary) is Saturday evening. The potential for sorrow-drowning remains, as does celebratory hoisting.

In any event, avoid the Garden Grove Boulevard and Yockey Street intersection between 9 p.m. Saturday and 3 a.m. Sunday. Garden Grove PD explains why after the jump. And keep in mind the Angel season is dedicated to a pitcher who died (along with two others) in a drunken-driving crash . . .

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McClelland. McDipShit.

​In the top of the fifth inning of the Angels' 10-1 loss to the Yankees last night, umpire Tim McClelland made what Yahoo! Big League Stew blogger Duk has labeled "the worst call of all time."  ​"Yes, you read that right," Duk declares. "The worst call of all time. Not just this postseason. Not this entire season. Not this decade. Not this century. I challenge you to think of one that was worse."

Watch the total injustice here.  

Sure, it's possible McClelland got paid off by the Yankees or the MLB or Rupert Murdoch. Or he could have suffered temporary blindness from the dirt kicked up by baserunner Jorge Posada. Maybe there was a shiny object diverting his attention. But in the replay, it looks as if McClelland totally forgot where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. Keep in mind he also blew the call when Yankee Nick Swisher tagged up before a flyout the inning before.

No, something else was afoot. For your consideration are these five drugs McClelland may have ingested before making the worst call of all time. …More >>

A-Rod or A-Hole?

​Since it's now obvious there will be no freeway series (hey, Angels and Dodgers, here's an idea: bring your bats next time), the time has come to move beyond the brutal losses suffered by our soon-to-be-exiting home teams and concentrate on the really important stuff.

​Like, which city is filled with more assholes, Philadelphia or New York?

Hey, it's an important consideration to remember while you avoid the pain that will come from watching the Phillies and Yankees face off in the World Series.

What follows is a highly scientific breakdown of 13 key assholic indicators to help us determine which big city takes the cake . . .

. . . the ASSHOLE cake.

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Guerrero: Now, sadly mortal...

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The most painful part of tonight's 4-3*, 13-inning loss your Angels suffered at the steroid-enhanced hands of the New York Yankees? Not the errors. Not Brian Fuentes blowing his save opportunity. Not the prospect of the Halos having to come back from a 2-0 deficit if they want to hold up their part of the Freeway Series. No, the moments that made me wince the most were those involving Vladimir Guerrero.

Oh, Vladdy: you're done. Your flailing at various Yankees pitchers during this series--including your feeble ground out to end the top of the 13th inning, with two runners in scoring position, is how I imagine Willie Mays played for the New York Mets at the end of his career, a run as synonymous with an athletic titan woefully past his prime as Joe Louis versus Rocky Marciano. You've never really hit them when they counted in the postseason, and your 2009 campaign might have seen you fight injuries, but cold streaks don't explain three inning-ending outs in a must-win game.

Forget about scoring a lucrative extension; call it a career. You had a great one, of the first-ballot Hall of Fame variety. Anyone who can tie a Lou Gehrig record in this age deserves all the praise in the world, but you had your day. Retire after this season--please. Porfas.

If the Angels are America's Team, does that make Barbara Coe the new Sarah Palin?

​What is going on with America? Forget about the economy, the Know Nothings, the garbage-dwelling Linda Ackerman campaign and refry this: in an ESPN SportsNation poll that I can't find online but was just broadcast on ESPN News, your Anaheim Angels beat out the other three remaining teams in the MLB playoffs as the squad fans most want to see in the World Series. It was a pretty healthy victory, too, with the Angels getting around 35 percent of the vote, followed by the Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Yankees, which were separated by a percentage point at around the 27-28 level (poor Philadelphia Phillies ranked last).

Haters can't accuse local fans of ballot-stuffing, either: more California fans who voted in the SportsNation poll chose the Dodgers over the Angels. The Angels? A team with no national-caliber star ala Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez? Are baseball fans finally catching up to the Halos' mantra of fundamentals, or has Orange County bled enough residents this decade to make the team so popular nationwide? I'm a Chicago Cubs fan, so don't truly care either way, but I do love to see Angels fans and their detractors go at it. So: go at it!