Booty Shaking, Pole Dancing, PMS Tracking and the Other Most Sexist iPhone Apps of '09

By Matt Coker Wed., Dec. 23 2009 at 9:32 AM

Categories: A Clockwork Orange, Main

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Turns out there's an app for . . . everything. Salon Broadsheet blogger Jessica Roy has compiled the Five Most Sexist Iphone Apps.

PMSTracker: Unlike apps designed to help women keep track of their own menstrual cycle, this one is meant specifically for men. It "allows you to quickly track the approximate time each woman in your life has PMS" using a color-coded method that functions much like the U.S. government's terror alert system--only it's red alert, severe chance of PMS attack!

Shake That Booty: This app allows you to manipulate an image of a woman's butt--or, as the official app description calls it, "BOOTY!"--by physically shaking your phone. Of course, this jiggle fest is presented as something that she desperately wants so players don't have to feel guilty. Look at that: Everyone wins!

Pole Dancing: "Get these hot girls to spin around a stripper pole by shaking your iPhone/iPod touch from side to side! Even better, clap, yell, make some noise and they will spin around at your command." Control her without even forming complete sentences--just a few claps or grunts will do!

Michelle: She's your brand "new virtual girlfriend" and "can be who you want her to be." You can take Michelle "to the beach or pool and choose which bikini or bathing suit she should wear." Guess this one's for the guys whose parents never let them play with dolls.

iControl Her: Here's another riff on the apparent desire of many app developers to have complete power over virtual women. iControl Her is an actual remote that appears on the iPhone screen, with such clever buttons as "Stop Whining," "Clean" and "Give Me Beer." Here's an idea: Develop a remote for women with a button that reads, "Delete that app and stop being such a jerk."

The reaction of Robin Marty on Care2Care's Protect Women's Rights page: "Most of the apps have the same thread in common--a desire to control a woman's every move via virtual reality. Which makes a great deal of sense, since, for a majority of the men who would want these apps, this is the only way they will have a women in the palm of their hand."

The reaction of bros everywhere: "Dude, where can I get me some?"

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