You Better Watch Out . . . Seriously, Santa May Be Delivering More Than Presents

Courtesy of Macy's

"Is that a pout, the gout or the mumps?"

​NEWS ITEM: 'Tis the season of H1N1, so Santas are being told to remove the gloves and wash their hands as much as possible ("Every time you hear a bell, Santa should pump a shot of Purell"), while warnings are being issued about flu buggies and other germs that can live for hours in the jolly fat men's suits, laps and flowing white beards.

INSTA-PUNDITRY: Can you imagine what kind of crap the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Santa will trudge from New York City when his 25-city tour stops at the Mission Viejo Macy's on Dec. 5? All kids are encouraged to come meet Herr Kringle, and it is for a good cause--a month's worth of Macy's events benefitting the Make a Wish Foundation. Still, better dress the little ones in Hazmat gear, moms.