Snott's to Get New Owner?

​NEWS ITEM: The parent company of Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park announced it has agreed to a buyout. Ohio-based Cedar Fair Entertainment--which, besides Snott's, owns 10 other amusement parks, seven water parks and five hotels across the U.S. and Canada--says the $2.4 billion transaction with asset manager Apollo Global Management is partly financed by J.P. Morgan, Bank of America and others. The feds and Cedar Park shareholders still must OK the deal.

INSTA-REACTION: Yet, I can't qualify to refinance my mortgage? WTF? Would it help if I dressed up as Snoopy, hawked artery-clogging chicken dinners and added puke stains under the kiddie slide out back?