Lincoln, Washington and Teddy Roosevelt Walk Into the Nixon Library ...

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Dead presidents
Abraham Lincoln's birthday is today, George Washington's is Feb. 22 and who the hell knows when Teddy Roosevelt was born. Still, all three very dead presidents converge Monday--Presidents' Day--at the presidential library and museum dedicated to another expired commander-in-chief, Richard Nixon.

Actually, it won't be Honest Abe, ol' Wooden Mouth nor TR at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum in Yorba Linda, but amazing facsimiles--what the kids call "presidential impersonators--of each prez dog.

Admission is free all day, and the first 100 guests get my, my, free cherry pie. Beginning at 10 a.m., the mini-Mt. Rushmore of presidential impersonators (screw Jefferson!) greet the public and pose for pictures.

A panel discussion from 1:30-3:30 p.m. in the museum's replica of the White House East Room features former members of Nixon's Oval Office staff discussing the unique time management system developed for Orange County's favorite disgraced son.

"1:30 p.m. Hit play on the secret tape recorder.

"1:45 p.m. Bomb Cambodia.

"1:55 p.m. Slam the Jews..."

OK, so there was surely more to it than that. Find out for yourself from Steve Bull, former assistant to the president, who addresses, "How the President's Schedule was Maintained and Managed." Dwight Chapin, former senior assistant to the president, chimes in with, "Management of the President's Time." Larry Higby, former assistant to the White House chief-of-staff glazes over, "The Role of the President's Chief-of-Staff." Ronald H. Walker, first head of the White House Office of Presidential Advance, completes the circle with, "White House Advance Operations and How They Supported Presidential Policy Initiatives."

Then, it's off to the replica of the War Room for gimlets.

Or not.
 
"This is the first time a discussion of this nature has ever taken place," says Walker, who is president of the Nixon Foundation that is presenting the Presidents' Day forum as the second in a year-long series of Nixon Legacy Forums celebrating the library's 20th anniversary.
 
Get there early. The joint at 18001 Yorba Linda Blvd. closes at 5 p.m.

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