How to Beat a Whore-Coke-Meth-Painkiller-Ecstasy-Drug Lair Rap: Become a Multi-Billionaire

Our bunk mate

​The very super-rich aren't like you or me. Imagine if the feds built a case against you, complete with several witnesses who worked for you, that alleged you had:

* hired prostitutes for yourself and your customers;
* used cocaine, methamphetamines, Ecstasy, prescription painkillers, and more;
* spiked the drinks of fellow business people without their knowledge;
* built a "lair" underneath your home that allowed you to escape your spouse and children to immerse yourself in a non-stop party featuring cocaine, ecstasy, Viagra, speed, prostitutes and assorted hangers-on.

We, of course, would be bound for a tiny cell, flavorless meals and non-stop avoidance of our bunk mate Adebisi's big, thick hog.

Winner!

​But if you're multi-billionaire Broadcom founder Henry T. Nicholas III, who is beginning 2010 with an amazing win streak in the federal courts, you have prosecutors ask the judge to dismiss the charges they had brought--despite mountains of evidence and testimony.

Maybe if you or I were U.S. District Judge Cormac J. Carney, who'd been sitting there every day hearing the government's case, we also would have been repeatedly telegraphing our call that we'd be ruling in Nicholas' favor--when we weren't already dismissing the various financial impropriety charges against him. Whatever. Here in the peanut gallery, it still amounts to this:

It is good to be the king.

Now, which pants pocket did I leave my lair key in?