[UPDATED:] 13 Things Possibly Going Through Don Bren's Mind During $134 Million Child-Support Case

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UPDATE: The jury made its ruling today (see end of post) . . .

Irvine Co. chairman Don Bren is suffering the indignity of sitting in a Los Angeles courtroom and even--horror of all horrors!--testifying in the lawsuit brought by the multibillionaire's ex-lover/passing-acquaintance Jennifer Gold, who seeks $134 million in back child support for their two children, Christie Bren, 22, and David Bren, 18.

What races through the mind of Newport Beach's largely reclusive 78-year-old real estate mogul as he puts up this bull-pucky?

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Kathryn Hyatt
Why me?
  • "Jeeeeeezus frigging Christ, $134 million!?! How's a man supposed to live on $11,866,000,000 in this economy!?!"

  • "Oh, that's Christie and David. I thought I was here for the Nigerians."

  • "Sure, $400,000 a month for these kids is what I burn in loose bills to light cigars, but it's the principle of the thing."

  • "Hey, didn't I already buy this judge?"

  • "This courthouse and every goddamn building for 30 blocks sure would look better if they were all identical and beige."

  • "I gotta find a new place for lunch. That baby tears pudding at Le Dome yesterday made me gassy."

  • "Jen's held up well for 55. If it didn't break my rule that my lady friends be no more than half my age, I'd still nail her."

  • "That reminds me: better check the mileage on Brigitte, may be new wifey time."

  • "Betcha Buffet doesn't go through this crap."

  • "Oofah! I hadn't seen Jen from that angle before. Yiiiiikes! That reminds me: I've got a 2:30 rat poison injection appointment with Dr. Lee."

  • "Damn, I can't tell if that bailiff is a dude or a chick."

  • "I'd still nail him or her."

  • "Fucking Obama!"


UPDATE: The jury in Los Angeles ruled today that Bren does not have to pay additional child support for Christie and David Bren. The ruling maintain's the mega-developers amazing string of decisions that ensure Donny gets whatever Donny wants.
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