The 10 Most Stereotypical Ways to Die in Orange County

Categories: Crime-iny

Lalo APD death squad ocw.jpg
Illustration by Lalo Alcaraz
Getting killed by cops? Read the list...
Every once in a while, our sister papers do listicles so brilliant that other papers lovingly rip off the idea. Such is the case with this listicle--at first seemingly callous, but actually a great indictment of the provincial lunacy of whatever city is publishing the list. Because the stereotypical ways to die in OC is going to be different from, say, Miami or Houston. So, without further ado, get those angry comments ready because heeeeeeeeere we go! In no particular order, but nevertheless numbered...

10. At Leisure World

LeisureWorldOldLogo.jpg
Gotta love it!

There's a reason everyone calls it Seizure World, you know?

9. Mauled by a Mountain Lion

mountain_lion_wikimedia.jpg
Wikimedia Commons
Meow

One of the 10 greatest stories to ever appear in the Weekly was our take on the tragic mauling and killing of two OC bikers by a mountain lion. And although mountain lions usually leave folks alone, the spectre of their menace leads us to think that such maulings are much more common than they actually are. It's like that episode of The Simpsons with the Bear Patrol!

8. Serial and Spree Killers

Izzy Ocampo OCDA.jpg
Courtesy OC DA's office
Iztcoatl Ocampo

From William Bonnin (aka "The Freeway Killer") to Randy Kraft (another "Freeway Killer") to Richard Ramirez, Itzcoatl Ocampo, and the two creeps accused of killing prostitutes, OC has unfortunately attracted an inordinate amount of known serial killers--and the list doesn't include Nightstalker Richard Ramirez, who didn't actually murder anyone in Orange County (the man who he shot three times in the head in Mission Viejo survived). Throw in Scott Dekraii and Cal State Fullerton Library killer Edward Charles Allaway, and we should all be packing heat, you know?

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23 comments
WhiteyAlmighty
WhiteyAlmighty

I think Gustavo is ignoring all of the shootings (especially the drive by variety) and stabbings by our world famous SanTana residents! F-Troop, Delhi, East Side, Lopers, ...anyone I'm forgetting?

MatthewTCoker
MatthewTCoker topcommenter

"Death By Theme Park" would be a stereotypical way to die in OC since everyone everywhere else only knows us by a certain theme park (and to a lesser degree by a second certain theme park).

unabauer
unabauer

Mysterious circumstances? Don't forget the case of Arlene Hoffman, who was killed with a crossbow in her Laguna Niguel home in 1994. She had worked for Fred Harber, Jess Unruh, Norton Simon, Louis Cella, and other curious characters. Her murder has never been solved.

Brianne Ard
Brianne Ard

Joe Rodriguez Rebecca Ard Linda Rodriguez Dana Rae Rodriguez Sal's brother made page 2 of the article.

bphood
bphood

#1 please # 1 I don't want to die waiting in line at a club in Santee anna O you forgot that the eases est way to die in the oc is by going about your bidness in s/a

paullucas714
paullucas714 topcommenter

I was getting pissed off at Gus for no adding Rx overdoes and killed by cops til I got to them. I thin k those two should be the top two for the proverbial "Stereotypical" way of dying in OC.

King LÅndfill Lear
King LÅndfill Lear

Wow, you found a way to tie Mexicans and Santa Ana into a completely useless opinion piece. Good job Gustavo! Keep up the good fight for your people...

Mike MacDuffee
Mike MacDuffee

This is the shittiest, most unfactual, poor taste article I've ever seen.

JGlanton
JGlanton topcommenter

My biggest OC death fear is getting run over by a fat blonde soccer mom frantically driving her Escalade at 50mph through my housing tract to get from soccer practice to the hair salon and back in time to get dinner delivered before the reality show starts on TV.  I see them a lot, they're in a zone, and nothing is more important than their special lives. Get outta the way!

NOV.16
NOV.16

The Avila family is still dirty!

JBinOC
JBinOC topcommenter

Kinda liked #5, but Nick's story on Joe Avila and Kenji Gallo was great!!

nebeltex
nebeltex

I was going to suggest #11 (if the manner was not included). Thankfully, you listed it at #1. So wrong a way to go, yet so true.

meheecan-cris-doner
meheecan-cris-doner

what happened in fullerton? big police presence off valencia and lemon. did they beat somebody to death, again?

bphood
bphood

lets not get bogged down in details......right

bphood
bphood

@NOV.16 but the costa mesa restaurant is so clean...and delicious

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