The Texts of Gustavo's OCC Hall of Fame Induction Speech and Fullerton College Commencement Address!

Photo by The Mexican
Medal made by a 3D printer--GANGSTA!
Hello, I am speaking from the days of future past or some sort of convoluted shit. Just a couple of minutes ago (or in a couple of minutes), I gave the commencement speech at Fullerton College for its 100th anniversary. On Wednesday, I was also inducted into the Orange Coast College Alumni Hall of Fame. As is my tradition whenever I give speeches, below is the prepared text of each, starting with the OCC one. Unlike real life, I usually don't veer into random wackiness when giving prepared speeches, but do reserve the right. Enjoy!

I've had dozens of T-shirts given to me in my life; almost all of them eventually turn into an oil rag or get tossed in the trash once they get too faded. Only one has withstood the ravages of time.

In my closet is a T-shirt reading "OCC Senior Day 1997." I've kept it all these years, rarely worn and almost new, because it's one of my most valued mementos. For me, it embodies the transformative strengths of Orange Coast College. Before OCC, I was an underachieving nerd; after OCC, I've been nothing but an overachieving nerd. And I credit all of my success to this school, for here is where I learned the value of education and its abilities to not just open doors, but to smash them down. You graduates know I'm not exaggerating or saying nice things, because ustedes are just further proof of OCC's magnificence.

Getting into the Alumni Hall of Fame is the greatest honor I'll ever receive in my life, because of how much I love OCC. I want to thank everyone who made this award possible and give gracias to all the amazing professors I had in my two years here. But a special thanks to Cheryl Jupiter, director of the Transfer Center. When I first entered OCC, I had no idea what to do or where I was going in life. In just a couple of her workshops, Cheryl taught me the Pirate way that has led me here today, and will lead all of ustedes to similar success. Gracias everyone, God bless, go get 'em, graduates, go Coast--and can someone buy me a new OCC T-shirt?

And now, FJC:

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