Stop Being a Jabroni and Respect the Iron Sheik!

Categories: Sports

SheikPic.jpg
If you don't like me I don't give a fuck.

By: Ali Lerman

Over here at OC Weekly, we don't mind being labeled "super fans" when it comes to Pro Wrestling Hall of Famer, former bodyguard to the Shah of Iran, and the ruler of Twitter, the one and only Iron Sheik. Over the past year, he has become one of Twitter's most cultish figures, opining on everything from Nelson Mandela to Chris Brown to sporting events, all in a looping, hilarious narrative that fans of Howard Stern have long loved. Matter of fact (and to take a page out of the book of the man himself), if you don't respect the legend, then you can go fuck yourself. The Iron Sheik keeps it real, whether he is online or in person by letting his emotions fly verbally in the sweetest and/or the most cutting way. It's actually overly apparent (and hysterical) if he doesn't respect someone or something by watching him voice his opinion's on-line and letting those "all caps" fly. And for the record, that's just one of the reasons that we are #TeamSheikieForLife.

Another reason is because when he loves and respects someone, it's overly obvious as well. This is no doubt why he launched the new "Iron Sheik Alarm Clock" app that just hit iTunes yesterday. See, The Iron Sheik is a tough guy but, he also cares about some of your no good asses as well. Before you download his new app and let him wake you lazy mother fuckers up, we had a chance to talk to the legend himself and...Oh. My. God. After how "real" he kept it with us, well, we didn't think it was possible but we love him even more now--he is no Rice Krispies dick. Respect.


OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): Before I go on and on about how much we love you on Twitter, I have to know about your new alarm app.
Iron Sheik: I now try to help the people who are the jabroni who eat the cheeseburger or are fucking lazy. I have the Iron Sheik app on the iTunes store. The Iron Sheik Alarm clock make you wake up and make you know if you don't get up, you are fucking lazy piece of shit low life. I help the people if they need the help. If you are cheap son of a bitch you can't afford to pay the fucking $0.99, than I never respect you anyway and you are not worth the fuck. You show me you need the legend help you start to become the real otherwise I suplex you. I put you in camel clutch and I break your back make you humble. Thank you and have a good day and go fuck yourself.

Hahaha holy shit that's brilliant! OK back to how Twitter-obsessed everyone is with you. How long did it take you to get the hang of tweeting?

Ali bubba, you ask me excellent question. The Twitter new generation and I am the old school. For long time I don't understand how many people talk on the fucking computer. I never understand internet. My intelligent Jew agent, he spend a lot of time with me so he explain and I speak from the heart. If I don't give a fuck about you, I tell you if you fucking jabroni. If you do good for the people in the world, I love you. The Twitter perfect for the legend because I tell people how I feel natural.

You keep it brutally honest when it comes to certain celebrities so we were hoping that you could give us some thoughts on a few people.

Miley Cyrus: SHE BIG TIME DUMB BITCH. SHE SHOW HER TONGUE LOOK WORSE THAN DEAD DOG. SHE BAD ROLE MODEL AND I WISH I CAN BREAK HER FUCKING NECK SUPLEX HER AND HER DOUCHEBAG FATHER.

Kim Kardashian: SHE EAT TO MANY CHEESEBURGER AND HAVE MOOSE ASS BUT SHE WITH MY FRIEND THE KANYE. I HAVE TO RESPECT HER. STILL I NEVER HAVE THE SEX WITH HER.

Bruno Mars: I love the Bruno Mars. He like the Bruno Samartino. He great show man he make the great music like the Rob Thomas and he know I am the legend. I love him forever.

Tony Romo: FUCK THE TONY ROMO. HE THE TONY PIECE OF SHIT NO GOOD RAISIN BALLS. He never do good for the intelligent Dallas team. All he do is fuck up and fuck up. I never respect him. He can go fuck himself forever.

Andrew Luck: He impress me BIG TIME. He not Luck. He the real. He know how to play the sport like the Peyton. He still young but he have chance to be next Iron Sheik class. I see him play with my cold beer and he impress me.

Andy Dalton: No matter what, he have the red hair and he a dumb red fuck piece of shit Cheetos dick. He look worse than baby midget squirrel. He fucked up and I never respect him. He need shave his head like Iron Sheik haircut so nobody see the fucking stupid ginger ass he have.


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5 comments
18usc241
18usc241 topcommenter

Dear Iron Sheik, hopefully you didn't work for the baby dick SAVAK during the Shah's reign. These were Iran's secret police and the only police group worse than Orange County, CA law enforcement (OK maybe the Chicago PD with their physical-torture-eliciting-false-confessions policy may place them ahead of you OC).

On a more cheerful note, my dad and I were huge fans of yours in the 70's in New York City. We were both curious about one thing - what was it about turnbuckles that delighted George "the animal" Steel's taste buds? And do you still keep in touch with him at his insane asylum/nursing home?

And finally, after watching you, George, classy Freddy Blasi, Lou Albino, Hulk Hogan, that loser announcer Vince McMahon - whatever happened to him <--- sarcasm) on TV, my fox terrier dog Nick and I would proceed to engage in no holds barred wrestling resulting in both my arms being completely scarred courtesy a healthy set of canine teeth. Hope you are happy!

Thank you for the fun times and priceless memories. My dad is longer here but some of the best laughs we had then (and especially as we grew older) was remembering you and your colleagues performances - thanks Iron Sheik and "rake of the face" + "sleeper hold" dad!

Jacob J. Garcia
Jacob J. Garcia

Iron Sheik calling in to STERN when Kurt Angle was a guest cracks me up, EVERYTIME. Stern- "Iron Sheik, did you just call Kurt Angle a Jew"? Iron Sheik- "He's a JEW"!

Amir Khalatbari
Amir Khalatbari

Wonder what 'The Iron Sheik' thinks of those 'Shahs of Sunset' mofos (both are In-Famous Iranians)...

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