Ten OC Girls You've Probably Dated

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How many tribes you think this Undie runner belongs to or will?
Photo by Christopher Victorio
You live here in Orange County long enough, you realize that even in this wildly diverse county of ours, all the chicks are virtually the same. Oh, they'll come in different sizes, income brackets, and levels of prettiness, but our ladies seem to gravitate toward particular tribes, with membership frequently bleeding into each other like Chapman University sorority girls come Undie Run. And if you're a swinging young man, you'll have encountered at least some of these women during your conquests. Hell, I was never a swinging man, and I dated women that belonged to more than half of this list. Anyhoo, let the cavalcade of cuties commence! And, yes, gals: we'll have a "Ten OC Guys You've Probably Dated" posthaste.

See Also: Ten OC Guys You've Probably Dated


10. The Girl Who Wants to Get the Hell Out of Orange County

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Exhibit #1

She's smart, funny, creative, wonderful, gorgeous, liberal--and she's trying her damndest to get the hell out of the hellhole in which she grew up, whether that means going to college out of state or moving to Long Beach/San Francisco/Austin/NYC/Anywhere Not Named Orange County, California. This brain drain has afflicted us for nearly 50 years, and you won't see her again until she's firmly settled somewhere better, doing amazing things, having the time of her life and wondering how pathetic you could be to decide to stay in OC.

9. The Christian

She could be Catholic, or Mormon, but she's most likely an evangelical from one of the Calvary Chapels, or Saddleback, or Mariner's or Eastside Christian or even Newsong. Follows Rick Warren on Twitter, voted for Proposition 8, attended Fishfest with her office mates, serves as a counselor at Christian camp every summer--yet fell for your heathen ass. Regardless of her creed, she will not put out--until she does.

8. The Gold-Digger

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Photo by John Gilhooley

She's the gorgeous gal that will only date you if your American Express is black, your Mercedes is S-Class or above, and you were in college when she was still in utero. If you're none of the above, you might've bought her a drink if you were at Gulfstream or Charlie Palmer's, a drink she quickly drank after seeing an Irvine Co. exec sit in the table across the room for you. Don't worry: in 20 years, her daughters will be all yours.

50 Reasons Why Orange County is The Worst Effing Place in America



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134 comments
Christine Strawberry-Girl
Christine Strawberry-Girl

It's a funny article, but that doesn't mean people are wrong when they say it's a stupidly misogynistic article. I thought so the first time I read it, and I think so now. The OC is a crazy shallow place -- the last thing we need is to propagate more stupid stereotypes. And making a male counterpart article doesn't make it any better. Shame on you, Gustavo - you can do better.

Dane Parker
Dane Parker

Bravo Gustavo, Bravo !!! As for # 1-3-9 and 10, been there and done it. One of your best takes on life in the OC yet, keep em coming.

Mary Chittenden
Mary Chittenden

Who is "you"? More misogynist bullshit from Gustavo. Fuck you and your target audience too.

Cristina Flores
Cristina Flores

this is one of the most misogynistic articles i've read on the weekly, fuck this!

Andrew Baker
Andrew Baker

Those rockabilly chicks get me every time

Claudia Arellano
Claudia Arellano

Hey Benn, I'm pretty sure you dated each of these girls at least 10 times...

Dave Nixon
Dave Nixon

Jared Vidal is that your brother behind #1 ? ;-)

Ritche Tay
Ritche Tay

You miss them don't you Mike Kim

Nusheen Raptor
Nusheen Raptor

That's exactly it, Gustavo, I didn't enjoy it. Why don't you write about stuff that matters? Why not write about women who actually help their communities? I have ten of them who come to mind. I realize me posting my opinion is what you hope for to generate interest in your writing when you are really a mediocre writer at best. And how you have kept your post at the WEEKLY is beyond my realm of understanding--you are not that special. Just from the title alone and the photo, I can see that you have real value for women and preserving how they help their community. Please take a leave of absence. I'd be happy to write something worthy of being printed. And please don't plead that this some reverse psychology to get people to care and to react. There are plenty of people who care, please take a moment and reflect.

Chris Hanlin
Chris Hanlin

I married #10. We live north of San Francisco now, and we have a toddler. She's pretty much exactly as described in this piece.

Sabru Ha
Sabru Ha

James Kim: seems like you could relate. If you dont mind me asking which ones have you dated? :p

OC Weekly
OC Weekly

Nusheen Raptor Glad you enjoyed it! Marily Madrigal Glad you read it before!

Irfan Ahmed
Irfan Ahmed

Number 3: I'm dying. The amount of white washed immigrant daughters that you'll meet with the names: Annie Nguyen, Sarah (insert Persian last name), Christina Chen, Andrea Rodriguez

Liz B
Liz B

I feel the gold diggers are dominant all over oc

Ruben Kelvin
Ruben Kelvin

El Agave i bet you are ten for ten and did the cycle at least twice.

Marily Madrigal
Marily Madrigal

Not only that but they've published this before! Wtf!

Joaquin Cruz
Joaquin Cruz

#7 #10 just what u can enjoy with out worry

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