We Call Bullshit on "Best U.S. Cities for Bros" List For Glaring Omission of Huntington Beach

Categories: OC Media

bros-locking-arms.jpg
OC Weekly hereby calls bullshit on Estately.com (beats the hell out of us who that is also) for a glaring omission on its list of "The 18 Best U.S. Cities for Bros." Oxford, Mississippi? New Haven, Connecticut? Los The Fuck Angeles? For gosh sakes: Surf City INVENTED bros.

Bro.

Turns out Seattle-based Estately.com is some sort of member real estate site, so do take the list on their blog with a grain of saltwater because, obviously, they are Satan's spawn.

The stupid-ass list compiled between justifying jacked-up commissions for real-estate weasels has LA at numero uno. Uh, yeah, but only if you confuse cholos with neck and teardrop tattoos and who beat Giants fans into comas with white guys with backward baseball caps, chain wallets and monster trucks blaring gangsta rap ...

As they drive through Irvine.

Which is exactly what Estately blogger "Ryan" has done, confuse the two:

The Los Angeles area is one of the leading producers of bros in America. From San Bernardino to Orange County to Malibu, the area's varied landscape is home to thousands of bros. Excessive wealth, acceptance of self-absorbed Hollywood types, and ample sunny days acts as bro incubator.

Wander the campuses of USC, UCLA, Pepperdine, Chapman University, and dozens of others and you'll see bros tossing the disk around between classes or just cruising home on a longboard to play some flip cup. It's way chill, bro.

And that's way lame, lame-ass, not only because of the waaaaay un-chill writing, bro, but because you've chosen a geographical area that's roughly the size of the Northeast.

Hell, Orlando (No. 18, according to Estately) and Gainesville (No. 3) are separated by only slightly more Florida freeway than the SoCal traffic nightmare between Malibu and San Bernardino, which Ry-ry lumps in as the same place.

Oh, snap, and where the fuck is San Diego? Our universally recognized bros to the south of us should be at No. 2, behind only Huntington Beach in certified bro-ness. How the hell are Surf City and "America's Finest City" not as bro-worthy as, say, Santa Barbara (No. 6)?

About the only good thing to say about Estately's un-stately compilation is it does include this Deadspin favorite to illustrate LA at the top:



Dollars to donut holes those douches drove to Staples from HB. In daddy's jacked-up Tundra.

Email: mcoker@ocweekly.com. Twitter: @MatthewTCoker. Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!


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14 comments
Tony Mancuso
Tony Mancuso

anyone who uses the term "bro" in seriousness are absolute morons.

Garrick Butler
Garrick Butler

Like the L.A. vs. NYC feud of the 90s hip-hop, the next decade looks to be dominated by rivalry between OC and Jersey Shore bros.

Santiago Nicolas Aguilar
Santiago Nicolas Aguilar

people talk shit on the 909 for its "broness" but I've seen more bros in a day in HB than I've ever seen in Pomona...

lonhall
lonhall

I'd love to share this post but yo language be too 'bro' for this doddering, drooling senior citizen to post. Because, I mean, what the fuck?

Simon Baty
Simon Baty

NO. They didn't. Anaheim invented bros. but, I mean, it's definitely not something to brag about.

Sean Marshall
Sean Marshall

Jonathon Tell katie its too late... its a tatto thats been in the works since freshmen year. This will simply be the stamp of authenticity...

Adam Abrams
Adam Abrams

WE'RE pathetic? They're muff cabbage!

Andy King
Andy King

what a jerk wad. typical out-of-stater who thinks the entirety of SoCal = LA.

Lionel Frank
Lionel Frank

the people who wrote that really have no clue

Dave Nguyen
Dave Nguyen

Sadly Jersey took it to an embarrassing level.

DaniGirl949
DaniGirl949

I never believe any of these so called list... Once there was a list of the safest cities in CA, and Santa Ana was listed, it's like...... are you kidding me

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