5 New No-Nuke Uses for San Onofre Plant

Categories: Environment

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The San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station is closing, it will take years to decommission, but it's never too soon to think about what should become of the all-new SONGS.

After the jump, five potential (and no-nukes!) re-uses for the nuclear power plant.

From earlier this morning:

San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant to Be Shut Down FOREVER--YEAH!!!

5. SPENT ROD'S GLOW-IN-THE-DARK SKATE PARK

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Rails smails. Ramps smamps. Slides smlides. Wanna get tubular? Spent Rod's got miles and miles of tubes (all cracked). Skateboard pioneers hit empty swimming pools. Here, you can hit spent fuel pools. See if you can keep from breaking your deck (neck?) on our turbine deck. And what could be gnarlier than riding down those giant containment domes? We haven't quite figured out how your moms can get past armed security to drop you off, but we're working on it. Come on down!

4. CONTAINMENT VESSEL FOR TODD SPITZER'S EGO

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And there's one right next door for the Orange County supervisor's future challenger for district attorney, Susan Schroeder.


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7 comments
tongue_twister_for_t
tongue_twister_for_t topcommenter

 A BRAND NEW HUGE NIGHTCLUB CALLED "MAMMARY GLANDS".

I GOT THE DIBS ON THE NAME NOW MAKE ME A GENERAL MANAGER.

BETTER YET OWNER!

tongue_twister_for_t
tongue_twister_for_t topcommenter

4. CONTAINMENT VESSEL FOR TODD SPITZER'S EGO

GOT THAT ONE RIGHT SINCE HE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP AT HIS OWN JOB FAIR AND THE TABLE FOR OC WAS EMPTY. NEVER DID HEAR BACK FROM ANY OF THE COMPANIES THAT i APPLIED FOR.

thesch
thesch

Make it into a whore house with daily specials or a pot farm.. 

Mitchell_Young
Mitchell_Young topcommenter

You sure have an obsession with lady parts and the products thereof. 

Brainwashed_in_church
Brainwashed_in_church topcommenter

Show adult movies or laser shows on the domed ceilings kind of like what used to be done at Griffith Park Observatory (Laserock).
Use the facilities to create an Our Lady of San Onofre Catholic Church and School.
Erect a new football Stadium to host the Los Angeles Chargers of San Diego.
Hire some terrorists to fly a plane into it and use that as a reason to start another war.
Offer it as a sanctuary for the Pirate Bay hosts.
Build a radio station with a 200 kilowatt transmitter that broadcasts nothing but active OC Register logins and passwords.
Establish some unique fast food restuarants; For example "Vijay and Raj's Hamburgers" or "Abdul and Morty's BBQ Pork Ribs"
Convert it into a country club exclusively for swingers.

tongue_twister_for_t
tongue_twister_for_t topcommenter

"Hire some terrorists to fly a plane into it and use that as a reason to start another war".

DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS, THEY JUST MIGHT GET SERIOUS. 

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