Gay Marriages Resume Tonight in California; Sadly, Earth's Quick Demise is Guaranteed
In the wake of this week's U.S. Supreme Court ruling on California's 2008, anti-gay marriage Prop. 8, the Ninth Circuit federal appeals court this afternoon decided there is no legitimate legal reason to further protect the institution of marriage.
Gay wedding are already--you're seated, right?--underway at Los Angeles City Hall.
The world surely now has guaranteed its quick demise into a painful, fiery hell of eternal damnation with the likes of Reverend Lou Sheldon, Orange County Supervisor John Moorlach and Chapman University professor John Eastman laughing comfortably in air-conditioning from above and chanting, "We told you heathens so."
Expect freeways to crumble, cities to burn, crops to rot, oceans to boil, real marriages to die, flowers to lose their sweet scent, democracy to collapse as well as the emergence of a society of disillusioned heterosexual couples who'll refuse to have sexual intercourse to produce children in inexplicable protest to gay marriage.
The Earth is toast.