Republican Senator: Make Border Security More Like Disneyland!

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Currently on Capitol Hill, there's a raging debate over what kind of amnesty will America get shoved down its throat (or, conversely, up its tucchus). But you know you're starting to enter the silly season when a U.S. senator starts hailing Disney's entry system for its theme parks as a model on which to create a better United States border and port of entry system for immigrants and visitors.

That's what John Cornyn, Republican senator from Texas just proposed at a hearing on the subject. Telling a packed house of onlookers, he noted, "If biometric systems are good enough for the Magic Kingdom, they're good enough for the USA." He's referring, of course, to Disneyland's recently instituted efforts to take pictures of parkgoers to ensure that people don't pass along tickets among each other.


He got the idea from Marco Rubio (R - Coñoland), who was thinking of his state's Magic Kingdom, Disney World. But Cornyn's comment drew immediate ridicule from folks, especially his fellow senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois), who noted that Disneyland has two points of entry, while the United States has 329. But the best line of the day belonged to my friend Aura Bogado, a reporter with The Nation, who went there and said on Twitter "how Mickey Mouse this whole debate is in Washington."

HA! On a serious note, though, if America's politicians want the U.S. to turn more like Disneyland, run to Mexico--oh, wait, Disney's trying to get in there, too...

Email: garellano@ocweekly.com. Twitter: @gustavoarellano. Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!

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18 comments
Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

Fock that 3 finger rat I never trusted that rat with no soul!

SickSnail
SickSnail

I think Disneyland should have policies like the US government. That is, if I can climb the fence I should be allowed eat and ride for free regardless of whether or not I'm found to be trespassing.

Mitchell_Young
Mitchell_Young topcommenter

" But Cornyn's comment drew immediate ridicule from folks, especially his fellow senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois), who noted that Disneyland has two points of entry, while the United States has 329."

And Disneyland (according to Wiki answers) has 8,000 employees, while the US government has 1.7million in the active duty military alone. (In which, by the way, everyone who has 'served' has had their DNA taken and filed away somewheres). 

Mitchell_Young
Mitchell_Young topcommenter

Coño? You trying to pass for an actual Hispanic?

SoBe Herrera
SoBe Herrera

Things that make you go "mmmmmm..." When thats all i need... ONE reason to NoT vote republican...

vegandawg23
vegandawg23 topcommenter

Just kick them all out. What's the problem here? This is common sense people. 

Kimberly Collins
Kimberly Collins

I also love your tag for the article: Illegals! Illegals! Illegals! LOL

Kimberly Collins
Kimberly Collins

I love the term "spokespendejo" - I'm gonna steal that one.

STOPTHERECONQUISTA
STOPTHERECONQUISTA

@SickSnail ....and given a pathway to an annual pass.....that doesn't bother with standing in line outside the park and paying of course.

Mitchell_Young
Mitchell_Young topcommenter

Actually, when you think about it (that will let out Durbin), the more entry points you have, the more you need an electronic database. That way information can be shared among the various guard stations. 

godesigns
godesigns

@mihai.mazilu Coño is a common term used by Cubans to mean everything like saying "shit" when aggravated to "daymmm" when in awe... so Coñoland is in reference to Florida since there are so many Cubans there.

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