Gustavo's Latest "Orange County Line" for KCRW: How Can OC Attract Even More Tourists?

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"Late last year, the Anaheim/Orange County Visitor & Convention Bureau hired a man from Texas--Texas!--to attract more tourists to Orange County," begins the blurb for my latest "Orange County Line" commentary for KCRW-FM 89.9. "But when you're in charge of bringing people to a place with beaches, Disneyland, and fabulous resorts, it ain't too hard of a task, right? To bring even more people to a region that already hosts hundreds of thousands annually, we tell the new guy how to get creative."

Don't I sound so professional for public radio? As if!

Me being me, it turned into a shoutout to the possibility of getting tour buses to swing by the gates of Newport Coast and Coto de Caza, of frequenting SanTana's tranny bars, and so much more merriment. Enjoy!

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JBinOC topcommenter

There are tranny bars in Santa Ana?  Anaheim, maybe, but not Santa Ana


I know many of your comments were tongue in cheek but you did bring up some good points. I think most tourists think of Disnyland, Knots, and the beaches when they think OC and there is so much more to it than that.

JGlanton topcommenter

You're on to something.  I suggest the following:

1. Put bleachers on Flower Street so tourists can catch a glimpse of a hijo de la Chingada getting stabbed or shot by his teenage counterparts from one of the 49 other other Mexican gangs.

2. Have an event where tourists put on plaid shirts and workpants and run through Anaheim taunting cops. The Running Of The Pigs. 

3. Sell tickets to tourists to bring their dogs to Laguna Beach and let them kill seal pups, following the example set by Gabby Gifford's husband Mark Kelly and daughter.

4. For the ultimate in tension and exciting humiliation, send them to the California Coastal Commision with a petition to remove a tree in a backyard near the coast. OMG a hole!

5. Make a reality amusement ride where you put them solo on a bicycle and send them down the Santa Ana River Trail at dusk. Death Race 2013.

And so on. I can come up with a thousand tourist attractions that are better than what that guy from Texas will come up with.

JGlanton topcommenter

6.  Work Out Your Troubles:  Spend a therapeutic afternoon as an honorary member of UCI's Muslim Students Association. Participate in stress-relieving chants that free your burdens by blaming The Joos, then go into the auditorium and have cathartic shout down of a visiting Joo speaker. 2 hours for $25, 4 hours FREE.

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