BREAKING: Irvine Psychic Claims Russian Meteor is Alien "Payback," Predicts "Two Days of Darkness"

Categories: Crime-iny
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Late last night, half-asleep, half-delirious, half-drunk, I was able to make out the word "Irvine" coming from the voice of George Noory, the legendary host of Coast to Coast AM, the most truthful program airing on KFI-AM 640. He was introducing Vicki, and she had a theory on the meteor that rained over Russia yesterday: it's actually alien retribution for humans bombing their planets, and Vicki claims "two days of darkness" to come.

Better stock up on your ammo and provision, everyone!




Vicki claimed that she predicted two months ago that a "bright white light" would flash across the sky. "This is coming," she said. "We have to stop attacking these other planets."

"We're ticking somebody off, aren't we?" Noory sayd, to which she agreed. But then she got combative when Noory asked what else did this multi-generational psychic see. In particular, Vicki insisted we stop exploring other planets, while Noory maintained that our space exploration was not only legitimate, but that aliens came to this planet first, so we are perfectly within our right to fuck with them. Vicki maintained "we have no business of going" to their place.

"Let's see about those days of darkness that are coming, okay?" Vicki concluded, as she hung up.

The audio is at 2:05:00. Keep watching the skies!


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4 comments
Mitchell_Young
Mitchell_Young topcommenter

Once upon a time this country put a man on the moon. Then came the Mexicans.

18usc241
18usc241 topcommenter

Make enough predictions and then emphasize the ones that pan out. The bread and butter of third rate con men.

Ask Walter Mercado!

Cottonwood
Cottonwood

I wish I believed in aliens and UFO's.  It would be a nice distraction from reality to be lost in believing something fantastical.  I want to be a hobbit.  Or a Genie, but not in a bottle.  

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