Octomom Nadya Suleman Double-Penetrates Consciousness with Porn Award, Stripping Gig

Categories: Octomerde, XXX
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How was your long holiday weekend? Single, unemployed, welfare queen mother of 14 Nadya Suleman, formerly (thank God!) of La Habra, first discovered she will earn more green stripping in Florida again--after saying she would never strip for money before stripping for money the first time in Florida last year.

Then she found out the self-pleasure porn she made last year--after saying she would never do porn for money--won a prestigious AVN award in Las Vegas.

Question: since she's earning money from these endeavors, will her taxpayer support shrink, through the From Welfare to Workin' It Program?

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Award winner
By the way, the Sunshine State club Nads will be stripping it had at one time threatened legal action against her for backing out of that show to keep a more lucrative gig at another venue. Wait, Natalie lying to someone? As if . . .

She took home the AVN Award Saturday night for Best Celebrity Sex Tape.

Alas, she was not in Vegas to scoop up the honor, as we'd imagine she was busy doing something else degrading she swore she'd never do (like make an honest living?). But Suleman was close enough to one of her minions to issue the following statement to E! News.

Seriously it has not sunk in yet. This is fantastic, what an honor. Hopefully this will open the doors to more opportunities. I'm proud I did this movie, it helped me grow into a woman. Octomom Home Alone is a true reflection of my intimate side. I am excited to have the award, I am trying to figure out where I will put it.

Must . . . resist . . . urge . . . to . . . tell . . . her . . . where . . . to . . . stick . . . it.

Wait a tic, "more opportunities." Didn't she shut the [back?] door recently to doing another porn? Silly me, believing something that came out of her mouth again.

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