God Cockblocks Benny and Suzanne Hinn Remarriage

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Benny and Suzanne Hinn, whose pending divorce produced some of the most-viewed posts in Navel Gazing history, were fixing to be remarried by Pentecostal pastor Jack Hayford Friday at the Orlando, Florida, Calvary Assembly where the re-bride's father once ministered. But that's now on hold because someone stuck his big fat nose into the re-nuptials. A spurned lover? A spurned divorce lawyer? A certain female evangelist? No, nope, nein. The buzzkiller is G-d.

See also:

Benny Hinn Goes On Air to Counter Estranged Wife
Benny Hinn Drops Suit Over Tweet Saying He and Paula White are Engaged
Benny Hinn Back in Bed with Wife

First, I don't believe this update can be trusted if we simply let that sandblasted opener photo stand unchecked. Therefore, before we continue, let's see a more accurate representation of Mr. and Mrs. Hinn, the faces of Benny Hinn Ministries World Media Center in Aliso Viejo:

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(Advice to Ben: go four shades lighter on the self tanner, unless you're planning on wearing you-know-who's horns this Halloween.)

The Hinns were all set to exchange vows before 600 guests at the same place they did 33 years ago, necessitated by Suzanne having alleged Benny cheated, the couple having separated in January 2009, Benny having alleged Suzanne was hooked on drugs, and the couple divorcing in 2010. Following more ugly claims, National Enquirer photos and counter-claims, the couple appeared side-by-side on The 700 Club in early summer to say they were more in love than ever. They went on to reveal detailed plans for this week's marriage ceremony in Florida.

Now, given the past infidelity allegations, you could read something into Benny's admission that he was paying more attention to his ministry than his marriage and Suzanne's vow to accompany the faith healer on the road from now on. That could certainly prevent future photos of the father of four holding hands with divorced evangelist Paula White in Rome.

But, then, what to read into Hinn's new claim that "talks of a remarriage ceremony are premature," as he just posted on his ministry website.

One of the things Sue and I have determined to do is to wait on the Lord as He completes the work in our lives and marriage. And as much as we would like to rush the process, those who are giving spiritual guidance and oversight have encouraged us to walk, not run, and to wait on the Lord as He completes His plan for our future.

Translation: It took God six days to create heaven and earth, but it will take him a lot longer to repair this marriage. But as great an end line as that would make for this post, it would be unfair to leave it at that considering Hinn also includes this in his looooong message:

We are enjoying our courtship, communicating more openly than ever before, and standing in amazement as our precious Lord Jesus heals the pains of the past. He has literally created a new heart of love in us both.

We have learned much through the mistakes of the past and never want to repeat any of the things that led to the breakdown of our marriage. So as we walk through this process of restoration and completion, we can't thank you enough for being there with us every step of the way. I look forward, in the very near future, to giving you the joyous news of the date, place, and time when we will stand before the Lord at the sacred marriage altar.

'Cause if these two crazy kids can't make it, what chance is there for the rest of us?

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