50 Reasons Why Orange County is The Worst Effing Place in America
10. Despite being the setting for so many bad television shows--The OC, Laguna Beach: The Real OC, The Real Housewives of Orange County, even Storage Wars--we couldn't band together to save Arrested Development, one of the greatest satires to hit the boob tube EVER. Take it, Tobias!
9. Developer Don Bren, one of America's richest men, owner of the Board of Supervisors for decades, destroyer of more open space than anyone since Galactus, still has the gall to put out brochures calling himself a "conservationist." And OC is gullible enough to believe it.
8. Disneyland says "jump"; we fling ourselves from a catapult.
7. The San Onofre nuclear power plant is just over the Orange County line--and how apt that it looks like a giant pair of fake tits?
6. The last place on Earth where the Spanish fantasy heritage still thrives. Aliso Viejo: not viejo. Lake Forest: No lake, no forest. Mission Viejo: No mission, not vieja. Buena Park...um, yeah.
5. Local bands and actors always leave us when they become big. See: No Doubt, Zack de la Rocha, Steve Martin, Will Ferrell, Michelle Pfeiffer, etc.
4. When Olympic gold medal winner Sammy Lee tried to move to Garden Grove in the 1950s, residents teamed up to make sure he couldn't move into their neighborhood. A GOLD MEDAL WINNER.
3. "OC Weekly? Is that the Orange County Register?"
2. Richard Nixon is buried here. Zombie Nixon NOOOOOOOOOO...
And the number one reason why Orange County is the worst effing place in America...
1. No one will get this list, and we'll be accused of hating Orange County, of being racist, and told to leave. Ah, Orange County...
With special thanks to all Weeklings who gave me the better ideas for this list!
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