50 Reasons Why Orange County is The Worst Effing Place in America


10. Despite being the setting for so many bad television shows--The OC, Laguna Beach: The Real OC, The Real Housewives of Orange County, even Storage Wars--we couldn't band together to save Arrested Development, one of the greatest satires to hit the boob tube EVER. Take it, Tobias!


9.
Developer Don Bren, one of America's richest men, owner of the Board of Supervisors for decades, destroyer of more open space than anyone since Galactus, still has the gall to put out brochures calling himself a "conservationist." And OC is gullible enough to believe it.

8. Disneyland says "jump"; we fling ourselves from a catapult.

7. The San Onofre nuclear power plant is just over the Orange County line--and how apt that it looks like a giant pair of fake tits?

6. The last place on Earth where the Spanish fantasy heritage still thrives. Aliso Viejo: not viejo. Lake Forest: No lake, no forest. Mission Viejo: No mission, not vieja. Buena Park...um, yeah.

will_ferrell_anchorman.jpg
Sigh...

5. Local bands and actors always leave us when they become big. See: No Doubt, Zack de la Rocha, Steve Martin, Will Ferrell, Michelle Pfeiffer, etc.

4. When Olympic gold medal winner Sammy Lee tried to move to Garden Grove in the 1950s, residents teamed up to make sure he couldn't move into their neighborhood. A GOLD MEDAL WINNER.

3. "OC Weekly? Is that the Orange County Register?"

2. Richard Nixon is buried here. Zombie Nixon NOOOOOOOOOO...

And the number one reason why Orange County is the worst effing place in America...

1. No one will get this list, and we'll be accused of hating Orange County, of being racist, and told to leave. Ah, Orange County...

With special thanks to all Weeklings who gave me the better ideas for this list!

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440 comments
golfer99
golfer99

I would also include these things.

1. Worst place on the planet to be a golfer.  A round with a golf cart at Mile Square or some other ugly municipal golf course with cars and fivesomes of Korean painters with their wives in front of you and behind you takes 5 hours to finish on the weekends and costs $60.  To put this into perspective, the most you will pay for a lush green tree lined course with zero highways or Koreans in Northern California or even Seattle Washington Metro is $50.  

2.  Although OC has a reputation for being full of rich blondes and snobby white people, The great majority of it is full of Mexicans or every kind of Asian FOB imaginable.  To add to the the American identity crisis every white person I see seems to be in their 50's or 60's and could care less because they know their days on earth are numbered anyways.  

3.  Everything is a competition.  Whether it is finding a job, getting to work on time (beating traffic and needing to cut people off or avoiding getting clipped by a jacked up 150 or SUV or worse Semi TRuck), finding a spot to park outside of your apartment you pay way too much for, or finding a job,  Any job.  Even the ones that make you question the decision to earn a living rather than just sit on a street corner with a sign.  

4.  Jobs; there are zero good jobs unless you have connections at some financial services or law firm, or you are just extremely gifted and have the credentials and experience to show this on paper.  I found a job here and it was great until I started working there.  I understand now why so many are so unhappy in this area.  If you don't have a job you don't have money to survive and are therefore as bitter as you are hungry.  If you do have a job you don't get to enjoy the beautiful sunshine that attracts so many to this state because you are always working.  Even when they say it is a 9 to 5 job.  If you get hired there is something really attractive about you to that company (if it is a non gov job that is).  I meanif you do work in the OC you might as well live in Green Bay Wisconsin because you will never get any of that lovely sun shine or lovely fresh air with a touch of smog in every breath.  You know the thing so many people move here for.  I have not seen the ocean since I started working by the way.  Irvine has no beaches and I live in Huntington Beach.  Oh go on the weekends?  I don't know what is more stressful, working myself to death or trying to navigate my way through Huntington Beach and finding parking that does not cost $0.25 per 15 minutes.  


With the above said SoCal is hell on earth.  Cannot wait to escape to the Pacific North West where at least they have fog to protect you from getting skin cancer.  The sun in Orange County looks beautiful until you go try and do something outdoors.  Even with SPF 50 you will feel like the back of your neck is being hit by a magnifying glass.  I think all the idiots driving on the 405 have caused a second hole in the Ozone layer because I feel like the radiation given by the sun has doubled sinnce I began living here.  

fm.illuminatus
fm.illuminatus

Even the self-hate in OC is so OC.  This is like a laundry list of first world problems. 

YourBlogSucks
YourBlogSucks

This goes on my list of the top 3 dumbest lists in effing america.

GladIgotOUT
GladIgotOUT

I left my hometown of Yorba Linda when I was 18 , over 20 years ago. While a beautiful place to be a kid, once I hit puberty and realized I was gay, I could not wait to get the F out. Since then I've lived in SF, Oakland, NYC, Brooklyn and now reside in Europe. Orange County represents some of the most delusional out-of-touch and frankly ignorant people on the planet. Being Christian and white is like a hospital card for ugliness. I cringe when I have to go back and see thick relatives and old neighbors. Thank you for making me laugh with your spot on observations. It's sad, however, because the place has the potential to be just so much more...

puromotaman
puromotaman

Last time I flew (last month) it was cheaper to fly out of OC then LAX to guadalajara. Plus I can take twice the luggage. Besides who likes to fly at night? Oh, the staff at JWA have always been polite spoke english fluently unlike LAX. 


ocace
ocace

Lake Forest has three lakes and is foresty.


newyorker
newyorker

i've lived all around the world, just moved here, it is a gorgeous place, nature-wise and weather-wise but yeah everything else the article says seems to be what i've been seeing. it's a shame bc the place is so nice! now just to replace the extremists and self absorbed, entitled population ;)

newyorker
newyorker

i've lived in 6 countries on 5 continents... just moved here, it is a gorgeous place, nature-wise and weather-wise but yeah everything else the article says seems to be what i've been seeing. it's a shame bc the place is so nice! now just to replace the extremists and self absorbed, entitled population with cool and down to earth people and then it would be PERFECT. meh, can't have everything ;)

Joe Allen
Joe Allen

Nice try, Detroit. The hate filled wanna-be hipsters at OCWeekly need more hate drivel this week. So glad the local independent (ha) media is here to remind me why my home town "effing" sucks. I thought it was a nice day too. Good thing they're here.

Patrick Lilley
Patrick Lilley

The writer can always choose to leave. I didn't see any useful suggestions for improving things.

Randolph B Brummett
Randolph B Brummett

There was a lot of people who petitioned for Orange County separation from Los Angeles not just the KKK member

Rotobabe
Rotobabe

...and yet... I'm left wondering what #39 is...

Jeff Maguire
Jeff Maguire

sorry, Houston, TX takes the cake for worst effing place in america

Sean Wanlass
Sean Wanlass

this is retarded. none of those things were reasons to dislike OC

Stress Reduction
Stress Reduction

Haha, lets keep OC like it is... If you can tolerate being financially screwed over and controlled your whole life, your the perfect sheep-le. Thanks!

Brian Simrak
Brian Simrak

Well to be fair, all of California sucks ass haha

dmitch38
dmitch38

Here's my attempt at coherent impute. Growing up in the San Gabriel Valley I can say I love the O.C. In the S.G.V. I watched my leave it to beaver neighborhood with mowed lawns, graffiti less walls, and a "drive by" was  getting mooned to dead lawns, gang graffiti, and a kid I watched grow up get shot and killed on Thanksgiving night. I ended up in Orange County in 1978 thanks to the Marine Corps. I got stationed at the air base that was El Toro, now the Great Park. Old Irvine, orange groves, a sense of clean air, going to Norm's on 17th at 2 am without looking over your shoulder as you got out of your car, and being at the beach in ten minuets, not an hour was perfect. I have lived in Garden Grove, Irvine, Tustin, and ended up buying a home in Lake Forest in 1997. Got married, raised two kids, one went to UNI, and the other to Mission and both received great education and are doing very well thanks in part to the schools and environment of Orange County. Over the years the O.C. looks like a extension of L.A. County specially the northern O.C. even though you can still tell when your getting into Orange County  from L.A. on the I5 when the roads get wider and the potholes disappear. The orange groves are gone now and "Old Irvine" is just a marker sign on Sand Canyon, Orange County is still a great place to live. All the haters, let ask this; if you have a to chose the same exact home in L.A. county or Orange County and it is just given to you, which would you chose?


Funny sad side note: I was getting me hair cut the other day and the young girl cutting hair and I were making small talk. To make it short, the topic of my military service came up and she asked if I was stationed at Camp Pendleton and I said no, El Toro. She replied, where's that? She grew up in the area! 

Josh English
Josh English

I never thought I'd ever say this in my life, but it's to the point, where parts of the Inland Empire are actually starting to become more attractive. :-p

Jay Chen
Jay Chen

The OC is the bestest!!!

Josh English
Josh English

Thanks OC Weekly, for reinforcing what I've already known, for the last twenty seven years. LMFAO :v

Daniel Rokstdy Curtis
Daniel Rokstdy Curtis

LOL thank you for sharing Allot of extremely valid points some undeniably fact that just can not be over looked - Good stuff!

Lisa Blandino McArdle
Lisa Blandino McArdle

Oh and I wouldn't be caught dead residing in Long Beach! Really??? You people are so jealous!

CDC01
CDC01

You make some great points.  However, racism, homophobia and disparate ecomonics are not exclusive to OC.  Not by a long shot.

Lisa Blandino McArdle
Lisa Blandino McArdle

To everyone complaining about OC MOVE and make more room for us who LOVE IT!❤️❤️❤️❤️B'bye!

Lorretta Marie Ceja
Lorretta Marie Ceja

I lived in SOUTH OC for 23 years, and moved back to Long Beach, and now I miss it soooooo much. There truly isn't a place like SOUTH OC. It's beauty, its beaches, restaurants, etc... I LOVE IT and miss it. I will retire in SOUTH OC. It's so kick back, especially Laguna Beach, San Juan Capistrano and San Clemente. Love them so much!

Marsie Wilkinson Chris Cook
Marsie Wilkinson Chris Cook

We get it alright. Some of the reasons why we left HB and Laguna Beach and decided to move to Hawaii.

Tina Cano
Tina Cano

From a couple of aquaintences who applied to work there.

Heidi Lehman
Heidi Lehman

Now since you commented, all your friends will read it. Awesome. Thanks!

Allison Garvin Neighbor
Allison Garvin Neighbor

The exact reason I am so glad I moved to Long Beach a place that accepts diversity. I lived in various cities in OC all of different financial status. I can't be happier that I made the decision to move out of it. Keep it. BTW with Cinco De Mayo coming up I can already envision it. May 5th : white people getting drunk wearing sombreros celebrating Mexico's independence. May 6th ; white people screaming "Go back to your country" . Or the infamous " They took our jobs!". Or bottom line the not so subtle white power groups in the OC .

Rodriguez Liz
Rodriguez Liz

My kids go to a blue ribbon / fundamental school in Santa Ana .. It's a very good school , I went to private school , Growing up and it's comparable .. Most high school students I know graduate knowing calculus here in Santa Ana , I think we are doing ok

Steve Olivares
Steve Olivares

Am the number one reason should be... Because Ryan Heffernan doesn't live there anymore!!

Joe Pinney
Joe Pinney

Thanks for mentioning this - it was news to me since I no longer live in CA, but I know the Anaheim Roscoe's was supposed to have opened about a year ago. So, still not open, eh? That really sucks, a LOT of people have been looking forward to it. Just out of curiosity, where did you hear that that was the city's sentiment? (I don't doubt it, I just wonder what the source was...)

Joe Pinney
Joe Pinney

I wouldn't go quite THAT far. There are plenty of other nice places to live, both in the US and in the rest of the world.

Joe Pinney
Joe Pinney

If it's that damn bad, why doesn't Gustavo just move somewhere else? Is he legally required to reside in OC?

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