The OCeeker: Harvest Orange County and Greg Laurie's Plan for World Domination
Bumper Stickers in Parking Lot: Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Really, there were five of them on one car.
|Every Breath You Take|
As Laurie took the pulpit, the OCeeker noticed a Latina cougar next to him (I swear, this is the place to find a prayer partner). She looked to be about a 6, which is great for a coug, and the OCeeker nearly reached for his Binaca. Delilah Valenzuela didn't have a Bible, but went all high-tech and read the Scriptures on her smartphone. A white guy to the OCeeker's left didn't have a Bible either. He spent the sermon texting.
Laurie is in great shape. Tan and tight in his long-sleeve black shirt and jeans, he obviously spends a lot of time at Lord's Gym. He's also way-bald now, which, with the bluish-purple lighting behind him, reminded the OCeeker of the Dr. Phil Show. Damn, he's starting to look like Chuckie...but enough projection.
He preached out of Philippians, (theOCeeker is going with the King James Bible cuz he has no idea what newfangled Bible Laurie preached out of), focusing on verses 12 and 13:
"Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure."
Laurie began the sermon with an illustration about working out physically to keep in shape, filling the introduction with jokes.
"I've been really working at crunches," he said. "I'm up to a hundred crunches a day. Nestles, you should try it!"
That led to a talk about checking one's spiritual health. Laurie gave a checklist for folks to consider whether they have true Christian faith: Did you confess Jesus Christ as Lord?
2. Do you obey Christ's commands? Are you unhappy or miserable when you're sinning? Do you love other Christians?
Welp, one out of four ain't bad for the ol' OCeeker, who gave the sermon a B. Well-paced and broken up with vanilla humor, Laurie is great teacher for those are new to the faith. Seasoned saints may find his teaching too basic for their tastes.
Sinners in the Hands of a Funny Preacher
Laurie closed the service by inviting the repentant to come forward and receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior, as the regular ol' house worship band played a song. About a half-dozen walked to the altar, showing their faith in God, as well as just how many people at Harvest OC are already believers, and simply left their crappy churches.
A handful of folks also came forward at Laurie's invitation to rededicate their lives to the Lord. Laurie gave everybody a new Bible.
Then it was time for The Afters to rock the house again. A lot of people skedaddled at that point, including the OCeeker, who stopped at an informatin table and picked up an empty baby bottle. The label showed a baby on it, and the words "God's Gift". Apparently, it was part of something calling itself "We Witness". Paperwork with the bottle advertised pregnancy counselling out of a center in Riverside. Maybe they can live stream the counselling for those who can't make the drive.