The OCeeker: Harvest Orange County and Greg Laurie's Plan for World Domination



Bumper Stickers in Parking Lot: Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Harvest. Really, there were five of them on one car.
 

Binaca.jpg
Every Breath You Take
​As Laurie took the pulpit, the OCeeker noticed a Latina cougar next to him (I swear, this is the place to find a prayer partner). She looked to be about a 6, which is great for a coug, and the OCeeker nearly reached for his Binaca. Delilah Valenzuela didn't have a Bible, but went all high-tech and read the Scriptures on her smartphone. A white guy to the OCeeker's left didn't have a Bible either. He spent the sermon texting. 

Laurie is in great shape. Tan and tight in his long-sleeve black shirt and jeans, he obviously spends a lot of time at Lord's Gym. He's also way-bald now, which, with the bluish-purple lighting behind him, reminded the OCeeker of the Dr. Phil Show. Damn, he's starting to look like Chuckie...but enough projection.

He preached out of Philippians, (theOCeeker is going with the King James Bible cuz he has no idea what newfangled Bible Laurie preached out of), focusing on verses 12 and 13: 

"Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." 

LordsGym.jpg
​Laurie began the sermon with an illustration about working out physically to keep in shape, filling the introduction with jokes. "I've been really working at crunches," he said. "I'm up to a hundred crunches a day. Nestles, you should try it!" 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

That led to a talk about checking one's spiritual health. Laurie gave a checklist for folks to consider whether they have true Christian faith: Did you confess Jesus Christ as Lord? 2. Do you obey Christ's commands? Are you unhappy or miserable when you're sinning? Do you love other Christians? 

Welp, one out of four ain't bad for the ol' OCeeker, who gave the sermon a B. Well-paced and broken up with vanilla humor, Laurie is great teacher for those are new to the faith. Seasoned saints may find his teaching too basic for their tastes. 

Sinners in the Hands of a Funny Preacher 

Laurie closed the service by inviting the repentant to come forward and receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior, as the regular ol' house worship band played a song. About a half-dozen walked to the altar, showing their faith in God, as well as just how many people at Harvest OC are already believers, and simply left their crappy churches. A handful of folks also came forward at Laurie's invitation to rededicate their lives to the Lord. Laurie gave everybody a new Bible. 

Then it was time for The Afters to rock the house again. A lot of people skedaddled at that point, including the OCeeker, who stopped at an informatin table and picked up an empty baby bottle. The label showed a baby on it, and the words "God's Gift". Apparently, it was part of something calling itself "We Witness". Paperwork with the bottle advertised pregnancy counselling out of a center in Riverside. Maybe they can live stream the counselling for those who can't make the drive. 

No one introduced themselves to the OCeeker. Maybe it was the cigar smoke.

Harvest Orange County meets every Thursday at 7 p.m. and every Sunday at 9:30 a.m. and 11:30 a.m. at 2727 Campus Dr., Irvine, (909) 407-6770;  www.harvest.org/church/campuses/orange-county.html

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19 comments
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20ftJesus
20ftJesus

Hey Josh -- call up Harvest and ask to interview Laurie about his collection of wristwatches.  Like Jesus said, there will always be poor people; so, buy yourself some fancy watches before time's up.

DrueMitchell
DrueMitchell

Wow, I thought you were gonna just go around and bash the hell out of every church in OC with the new column. Really great article, as a Christian myself, its awesome to see these events through your eyes. I knew you guys were cool, espically you Gustavo! So CHEERS, and I'll flip you one of my cigars when you come to my church, cus I know you'll be through eventually :-D

p.s. 1 out of 4 is not bad at all,....praying for 2 for you homie.

Ron L.
Ron L.

Is this the "heaping coals" defense, aka Christian version of passive aggressiveness.

Waldo Butterman
Waldo Butterman

Laurie is just doing what any good corporation does - expanding his market territory.  

A gradual increase of income over time is essential to the growth of any business, and trust me, this 'church' IS a business.  

Check out the store and terms of use on the Harvest.org website.  Pushing books and other paraphernalia by Laurie at astonishingly high prices.  

The egocentric nature of these books is a bit distressing. Laurie comes off in much the same way as a cult leader, with endless L Ron Hubbard-like personal manifestos and tomes of self aggrandizement designed to elevate him to some supernatural level.  No matter, if the flock of this church wants to buy this stuff, and apparently they do, I say let them.  I wouldn't want to send the authorities in to check on this guy and his practices - we don't want another Jonestown!

The terms of use for the web site are identical to  any other for profit corporation.  Only difference?  HarvestCorp pays NO income or corporate tax.

Crystal Evans
Crystal Evans

I was not surprized by the article. It could be about a million churches in OC.

20ftJesus
20ftJesus

This is a positive review -- what the hell is wrong with you Xians?

iuseocweeklytowashmycar
iuseocweeklytowashmycar

josh my boy, why the mocking? did you really think christians would get offended and click on your story?  the gospel is a seed that is thrown to the world and some of them land on ground that wont bear fruit. by your tone, its obvious you are in that category so we arent mad at you.  we just feel sorry that your life is so miserable that you would mock christians who did nothing to offend you.  

Don L.
Don L.

Passive aggressive mockery with a superiority complex....What would Jesus do?

My advice to you "Christians" who get upset about these articles, don't post your comments. You come across as real A-Holes. If the article sucks or is clearly biased, let God sort things out.

Kcollege823
Kcollege823

Was it really necessary to bash Greg Laurie for starting another church? I really don't feel that he's stealing from other pastors or churches. There are a ton of churches falling apart right now so I'm sure many people feel this is a safe place to go and are thankful for it. And since does oc weekly have a church critic?

Don L.
Don L.

I wish for once the tone of an OC Weekly post wasn't so sophomoric, but still this article touches on an issue that every middle class church-goer refuses to confront. That pastors start churches in well-to-do areas of orange county because that's where they can make the most money.

If any of these churches claims to have a heart for the poor, they would have built a church in Santa Ana or West Anaheim to, not only reach out to those communities that need assistance, but also have their members move there to help transform those neighborhoods in trouble. But, I'm not naive, this won't happen because the reality of church and religion is that it's a medium for like-minded individuals to hook up and keep their children in a segregated environment. 

I just hope that one day churches along the Jamboree corridor embrace this fact (like the Buddhist Churches or the Korean Churches) and stop peddling your hypocrisy. Who knows, honestly and greater exclusivity may result in a higher salary (oops, I mean housing allowance) for the pastoral staff.

P.S. 

Note the passive aggressive, parking lot grudge match between Harvest vs. Newsong Church (aka Whites vs. Koreans). What's even more pathetic is that the only true difference between these churches is race. The sermons are interchangeable.

Anonymous
Anonymous

I have lost all respect for OC Weekly after this article. Well done.

David
David

yes, I'm with you. Sad pathetic "journalism"

gustavoarellano
gustavoarellano

What offended you so?

909Jeff
909Jeff

What was it I told you last Friday?  The next positive article will be the first... Still waiting on that first.

I googled this and I think it might help Dulaney out. http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2... 

909Jeff
909Jeff

Well... First of all I dont think Michelle has a negative bone in her body! Second... After 20 negative articles about Wiley dont break your arm patting yourself on the back because his son wants to be his own man... and we can have discourse, its Healthy!  

gustavoarellano
gustavoarellano

Stop it already! We've done more positive stories on Christians than you can ever imagine! Go find Michelle's piece on Newsong, and one we did on Wiley Drake's son a while back, and go from there...

Don L.
Don L.

I think it was the use of the term "Latina Cougar" which may cause confusion and concern that Mexicans may attend this church. While that may be true for a small fraction of the congregation, rest assured, there are no minorities represented in any leadership role at this church.

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