You'll Know the Occupiers by Their Bio-Hazard Suits at Natural Products Expo in Anaheim
How else is one supposed to act around folks creeping around in bio-hazmat suits?
Ah, but the members of the "Genetic Crimes Unit (GCU)" are not affiliated with a government regulatory agency nor a new mid-season drama on NBC. They are part of the Occupy movement, which is on the look out for toxic contamination and genetic modification in the world's organic food supply.
"Many of the world's socially conscious organic and non-GMO brands will exhibit nutritious food at the three-day Expo," explains GCU spokesman David Bronner. "But in the background is a vast sea of unlabeled products sold in America containing GMOs that unsuspecting consumers eat without their knowledge."
So when is Bronner going to start sounding Occupy-ee?
"In the name of Wall Street profits, chemical corporations such as Monsanto genetically engineer crops to withstand high doses of their toxic weed killers that contaminate our food and water, and have not been proven safe. The California Medical Association has called for labeling GMOs because of concerns over adverse allergic reactions. Virtually every major country requires labeling of GMOs in foods so their citizens can make informed choices, including all in Europe, Japan and even China. But the US chemical lobby has so far made sure Americans are kept in the dark."
See, that didn't take long. And Bronner swears the bio-hazmat suits are not meant to alarm the public, although he does say, "We have an emergency here."
"We are approaching this as a necessary civil defense against the unknown long-term effects of eating GMO foods currently under investigation by the GCU," he says. "We will ID people and animals by asking them what they ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then tag individual GMO victims with bracelets. We will follow-up before Sept. 17, 2012 when worldwide GCUs will investigate and Occupy Monsanto."
Occupy Monsanto? Mercy. Next it will be the White House, to make a certain Chosen One keep good on a promise he made on the campaign trail in 2007:
Anyone who'd like to check out the spectacle at 800 W. Katella Ave. should note the bio-hazmat suits should be out in force by 10 a.m. Friday.
Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!