5 Substitute Spanish-Language Nicknames the Angels Can Use for Albert Pujols

Spring training hasn't even truly started, and already your Anaheim Angels are annoying their $200 million man, Albert Pujols, with billboards proclaiming him "El Hombre"--"The Man" in espeaky Espanish. Not only is it unimaginative, but the St. Louis Cardinals tried to do that, a linguistic play on their beloved Hall-of-Famer Stan Musial--and Pujols told them to shove a bat where the sun don't shine. And he did the same when the Angels did the same.

But the marketing gaffe actually presents a golden opportunity for the Halos. I get they want to do an advertising campaign for the team's golden boy, one built around his Latino-ness--but what to do when your star is some humble God boy with no skeleton in his closet? Following, then, are five appropriate Spanish-language nicknames the Angels can use for Pujols. And in honor of his Christian faith, I will do something unprecedented in my writing career: not use a single Spanish curse word.

1. El Mero Mero

El Mero Mero Moreno

The most logical one, as it's a Mexican Spanish idiom that'll resonate with all the wabs and speaks to Pujols' prodigious powers. Translates roughly as "the top of the top" and used only to describe the best of the best.

2. El Reconquista
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Besides, any nickname that'll outrage Barbara Coe is a good nickname!

Sure, it's grammatically incorrect, but what a wonderful way to reappropriate the term from Know Nothing yahoos! Besides, Angels owner Arte Moreno specifically brought in Pujols to retake the American League West from the Texas Rangers, so it's as apt a metaphor for Pujols as any.

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