Prius Driver Self Important and Self Loving

Categories: Crime-iny
Police received a call at 10:38 a.m. Friday that a man was masturbating while driving a Toyota Prius at Irvine Boulevard and Browning Avenue in Tustin.

Gentlemen (and Danica Patrick), start your en-jokes . . .

Is that a drive shaft or are you just happy to see me?

Pray he paid the dealer to Scotchgard the upholstery.

I'm pretty sure that's not what was meant by "Oh what a feeling."

Don't even get him around a plug-in hybrid.

I can tell by his stick shift he's Jewish.

OK, your turn . . .

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Alcestes
Alcestes

If it woulda been a woman masturbating, the car woulda been followed instead of calling the police.

Alcestes
Alcestes

This just in: 

Governor Brown signs new bill aimed at deterring masturbation while driving.

Joseph
Joseph

Suspect was described as bald, one eye and wearing a turtleneck.....

Alcestes
Alcestes

Back as a teen, I can remember getting lots of behind-the-wheel blow jobs from my teen girlfriend. Seems that once ladies hit their young twenties, they're no longer down for having their head seen bobbing up & down on the driver's lap.

What's up with that?

Jack Grimshaw
Jack Grimshaw

Nothing better for a long trip than a Hummer ...

Matthew T. Coker
Matthew T. Coker

I blame Obama.

Alcestes
Alcestes

My goodness, you are right!

The big question is: Are you better off now than you were three years ago?

It IS Obama's fault.

Twinkle-fingers on that!

Tombui09
Tombui09

Comes standard along with the "self" park feature.

Chingazo
Chingazo

He was testing the new Fap Ap on his droid while driving.

Alcestes
Alcestes

Well, at least he wasn't texting and driving, which is REALLY frowned upon...

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

This one is better?

He mistakenly thought his car ran on "bio-fuels".

The Bibliofella
The Bibliofella

Prius.  Not to be confused, except here, with Priapus.  Go ahead.  Look it up, I dare you.

Matthew T. Coker
Matthew T. Coker

Yikes! The original star of "Hung." Did Priapus also coin "horse power"?

Alcestes
Alcestes

I wonder if that could fall under the new "distracted driving" law?

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

He was listening to "Start Me Up" by the Stones and thought they were referring to "self" starters...=:-O

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