Augustin Sanchez Goes From Cuddling Ex-Girlfriend to Cuddling Jail Bunk Pillow

Categories: Crime-iny
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Face it, we've all drunk dialed our exes, or driven by their addresses or possibly even gone up to the step, knocked on the door and proceeded to make asses out of ourselves.

But Augustin Sanchez took the pleasebabypleasebabyplease rap waaaay too far early Sunday, his path to jail beginning when he drunkenly cut through the screen window of his girlfriend's bedroom window.

Lover boy allegedly pushed his way inside the residence in the unincorporated El Modena area of Orange, crawled into her bed as she slept, cuddled with her and tried to remove her underwear. She awoke to discover not the fulfillment of her dreams (a.k.a. Mario Lopez) but her stinkin' drunk ex, so stinkin' drunk that she managed to quietly slip away and call the cops.

Sanchez was still sitting there when Orange County sheriff's deputies responding to the 6:30 a.m. call arrived. He was held on suspicion of burglary, sexual assault and being in dire need of someone to hug.

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Cuddle bug Augustin Sanchez

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14 comments
Boog
Boog

Ol' Augustin thought he was going to get a little something-something from the ex, and instead he is now headed to the pen and will have to register as a sex-offender for the rest of his life. 

On a lighter note, can you imagine if the ex forgave him, took him back and refused to testify for the prosecution?  Hey, it's happened more than a few times.  If she was with him to begin with, she's probably not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

Dos Donvias
Dos Donvias

This headline needs a little work. How about; "Man Arrested for Breaking an Entry and Attempted Rape"? Yeah, mine is better. 

Jeezuz
Jeezuz

We've all drunk driven past our exes house? Maybe you need some therapy, Matt.

zengfoo
zengfoo

That the most adorable thing I have seen all week. Awwwwwww.www.Total-Privacy dot US

20ftJesus
20ftJesus

"Face it, we've all drunk dialed our exes, or driven by their addresses or possibly even gone up to the step, knocked on the door and proceeded to make asses out of ourselves."

Umm...you're joking, right?

909Jeff
909Jeff

El Modena huh?  Was that Cootchie67?

mpschwartz
mpschwartz

Great story! You’ve written about a good topic here. So Iwould just like to say thanks and it will be a pleasure to come back and readmore of them in the future. Thanks again!

 Webmaster of BritaxMarathon Convertible Carseat

mpschwartz
mpschwartz

Great story! You’ve written about a good topic here. So Iwould just like to say thanks and it will be a pleasure to come back and readmore of them in the future. Thanks again!

 Webmaster of BritaxMarathon Convertible Carseat

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

::shaking my head::  You've never been stalked, have you? And blaming the victim for what happened to her because of her poor choice in a (former) romantic partner is beyond tasteless...

WWJD
WWJD

"Drunk dialing" and "driving" are two different things.  Note the lack of the word "drunk" in front of the word "driving". Maybe you need some glasses, Jeezuz.

OReaally
OReaally

spam dudes at Total-Prv totally endorse the crimes that happened in this article.

CJ
CJ

Cootchie69.

Boog
Boog

Awww, poor little Fishy.  Were your feelings hurt?  Did you get an owie?

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