[UPDATED with DA Charges:] Christopher David Schwanke, Parolee Accused of Showing Partiers "Man-Gina" and Later Fingering the Hostess

Categories: Crime-iny
UPDATE, NOV. 2, 11:40 A.M.: The Orange County District Attorney's office (OCDA) this morning announced the following charges against Christopher David Schwanke: one felony count each of sexual penetration by foreign object by force, sexual penetration by foreign object of an unconscious victim, and first degree residential burglary of an inhabited dwelling. The 35-year-old Huntington Beach resident also faces sentencing enhancement allegations for committing a sexual offense in the commission of a burglary, having a non-accomplice present during a residential burglary, and two prior prison convictions for petty theft in 2006 and meth possession a year later.

The OCDA says Schwanke faces a maximum sentence of 15 years to life in state prison and that he has an arraignment hearing some time today in Santa Ana. The Orange County Sheriff's Department, which is investigating the case from unincorporated Anaheim, had said Schwanke was being held in the Central Jail in lieu of $100,000 bail, but the new OCDA statement pegs the bond at $1 million.

Prosecutors say the couple Schwanke would allegedly go on to terrorize was handing out candy to trick-or-treaters Monday evening when they noticed him in front of their Pacific Avenue house.

Anyone with additional information about the case is asked to contact Supervising District Attorney Investigator Lou Gutierrez at 714.347.8794 or the OCSD tip hotline at 855.TIP.OCCS.

ORIGINAL POST, NOV. 2, 10:51 A.M.: A couple was sleeping in their Pacific Avenue home in an unincorporated area of Anaheim around 11 p.m. Halloween night when the wife was awakened by her crotch being massaged.

"What are you doing?" she asked her husband.

"I'm sleeping," he replied. "What do you mean?"

It then hit them they were not alone in the bedroom.

And amid the violent struggle that ensued between the husband and the frisky intruder, the couple realized the creeper was the uninvited guest at a party they hosted two weeks earlier.

The couple left him alone at first, unsure if he was accompanying someone who had been invited. But then the stranger acted so "bizarre" that the husband asked him to leave the party, according to the Orange County Sheriff's Department.

Before making his exit, the man reportedly dropped his pants and told the revelers to "look at my man-gina."

No one informed authorities about the party crasher. But the couple saw him again about 7:30 p.m. Monday in front of their home. They began a casual conservation, asking who he was. He answered he was in the neighborhood visiting a female friend.

Their next meeting was from their bed 3 1/2 hours later. The creeper was on the bedroom floor nearby, trying to hide--or perhaps make himself invisible like Burt on Soap.

Sheriff's officials say the struggle between the husband and the intruder was quite violent and that several of the couple's items were broken. The man of the house was able to get the upper hand and restrain the suspect while his wife called 9-1-1. Investigators determined he'd broken in through a locked back door. He left a shirt on the floor and another outside the home, deputies say.

Courtesy of the Orange County Sheriff's Department
The man-ginaed Christopher David Schwanke.
He was later identified as Christopher David Schwanke, a 35-year-old parolee out of Huntington Beach. He is now back behind bars in lieu of $100,000 bail on charges of burglary and digital penetration with a foreign object.

Recently released from prison, Schwanke has a long rap sheet that includes theft, narcotics violations, domestic violence, driving under the influence of alcohol and assault with a deadly weapon.

Possession of a "man-gina" is not listed on his sheet, however.

By the way, isn't Schwanke another nickname for a man-gina?

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This reminds me of something.  You definitely can tell the difference between a mangina and a vagina.  But I'm not sure you can tell the difference between one vagina from another, especially when they are all shaved these days.  I had to confess to my boyfriend something I did.  It was the Great Vagina Swindle. I'm including this because sometimes people like to read about vaginas and even go to plays about vaginas.   And it feels even better to confess to more people than just him.  This is my confession:

"Hey. You kept asking. Even though Isaid "no" about a gazillion times. So, in my usualpassive-aggressive style I acquiesced (or so you thought) and indoing so got you to shutup for awhile about this and gave myselfpeace.

Why on earth do you want a close uppicture of my vagina? Really? Some kind of lost dream of becoming agynecologist? I know its tough for you at the sober living house. And I give you a ton of props for finally sobering up and gettingyour life together. So proud of you. But like every other addict,you've switched one addiction with another. You no longer want thecoke and booze, you want "in your face" vagina pictures. And you've been absolutely obsessed with this!

The first time you asked, I thought itwas a joke. So I sent you a very sexy picture of me and you seemedto like that. It calmed you down for awhile. But then a few weekslater, you ask again, whispering over the phone, so the other exaddicts won't hear you. Dude, they're going to think you are usingagain if you behave that way. So I tell you I'm not comfortable withdoing that. Cold shoulder for the next week. No phone calls. Noemails. When you finally do call, I get this monologue aboutintimacy, trust, stepping out of comfort zones and...VAGINA pictures.The answer= NO. I really love you and sometimes I really hate youreffing guts. We don't talk again and I think maybe you've metsomeone at your NA meetings who will shoot the muff for you. 2 weeksgo by. I finally call you and ask "what's up?". Youpractically break down into tears about what you've been through andwhy can't I just do this one little thing for you. Okay. Fine.Youwon. Sort of.

Do you know there's a website calledVaginas Up Close? Or maybe it was Up Close Vaginas. Nevertheless,you get the picture. And actually you got the picture.

That multicolored, fleshy, wet vagina Isent you was not mine. I don't know whose it was. All I know isthat I just put the camera up to the computer monitor, framed areasonable fascimile best I could and clicked. Obviously it workedbecause you called a nano second after I sent it to you and told me Iwas the most coolest girlfriend in the world and that you loved me somuch. Thanks baby.

I'm glad you enjoyed the vagina.

Obviously, they aren't like snowflakes."


Damn... I know this guy.... thats all bad.


Brennan has a Man-Gina!!!!!




He looks a lot better than he would if I woke up to him touching my wife. Too bad this is America and the home-owner would get 20 years for killing this worthless piece of trash.


Bouns points for the "Burt on Soap" reference!  

Make me crack up!

Soho_d J
Soho_d J

Send this dumb hill billy to prison where his 'man-gina' will get put to good use.


Not sure how that pick-up method didn't work!


I know him too 

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