Angels Desperately Need to Defeat the Evil Empire Yankees--For You, Me and America

YankeesSuck.jpeg
Would be nice if that could be true, at least for this weekend.
The Angels are getting hot!
They're fading!
They're on the heels of the Rangers!
They can't win a game!
They're back in the chase!
(Make up your damn mind, Scioscia--are your boys making the playoffs or not?!)

This up-and-down push toward the playoffs by the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles of the Great State of California is giving us motion sickness. We can't decide whether to make playoff plans or focus all our time and attention on our City Politician Fantasy League.

If the Angels are serious, this weekend will allow them an opportunity to make a statement: wandering into town are the American League-leading New York Yankees with their league-leading $207-million roster.

The Angels enter the series trailing George W. Bush's favorite team, the Texas Rangers, by 2 1/2 games, and are so far 5-2 in September. The Yankees have the best record in the American League, but no longer have the support of Minka Kelly. (We're bummed she won't be hanging around town, too.)

While the plans to honor Derek Jeter's reaching 3,000 hits are buried, there probably will be quite the display of patriotism on Sunday, when there will be a ceremony for the 10-year anniversary of 9/11.

Tonight the Angels will have their ace pitcher, Jered Weaver, on the mound. Sadly, he's been less than exceptional in recent weeks, but he has to be better than Bartolo Colon, who's pitching for the Yankees. Colon used to be an Angel, but now he's in pinstripes and he appears to have adopted C.C. Sabathia's former diet: a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal for every meal.

Including this weekend's three-game series, the Angels have 19 games in which to decide their plans for October. While a series sweep of the Yankees would do much for our collective confidence, it appears that the fate of the season will come down to the final series when they host the Rangers. 

Really, this series is a metaphor for America: the Little Guys (Anaheim; forget about the 4th highest payroll factor) versus the Big Guys (New York, and the highest payroll), and every now and then, we all love when the Little Guy wins. (Yes, we're pulling at those desperation heart strings in hopes of a pro-Angels crowd in attendance!)

If that argument isn't enough, how about this one: New York is home to Wall Street and all those bailed-out executives. If you root for the Yankees, you root for the bankruptcy of America. Shame on you (or us, for taking it that far).

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
2 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest

Now Trending

Anaheim Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

General

Loading...