[UPDATED with Howard Stern, Creative Accounting:] Greg Laurie Identifies Real Threat to America: One Night Stands

howard-stern-sirius.jpg
UPDATE, AUG. 17, 9:46 A.M.: So, I follow this link to a post about Pastor Greg Laurie also having said during the three-day Harvest Crusade in Anaheim that Howard Stern needs to find Jesus (and apparently not so the King of All Media can ask the King of Kings what he's packing).

More interesting was the video that accompanied the item.

It begins with still images depicting a packed Angels Stadium. One text card superimposed over a photo reads, "Attendance: 115,000."

Fair enough. But pretty soon the moving images kick in. Look over the shoulders of the faithful emotionally embracing, raising hands to heaven and singing along to the spiritual soundtrack. As the camera pans the stadium to capture these touching moments, good God, there are A LOT of empty seats.

Now, it was a three-day event that lasted for hours and hours each day. This could have been the off-day of the trio, or early in the program when most folks were still fighting freeway traffic (without taking a certain name in vain, of course), or maybe most of the crowd choose the sing-a-longs for potty breaks. 

Or, perhaps the creative accounting critics have accused Laurie's church of practicing since the 1970s extends beyond the receipt books. See if you can see something I can't below. After all, you know who does work in mysterious ways. Just ask Jackie the Joke Man.



ORIGINAL POST, AUG. 15, 10:32 A.M.: Screw Al-Qaeda, greedy Wall St. types and Washington, D.C., politicians.

Actually, don't screw them because casual, consensual sex is what really threatens America.

greg-laurie.jpg
For Pastor Greg Laurie told me so Saturday night at his Harvest Crusade in Anaheim's Angel Stadium.

"Think of what kind of a world we would live in today if this was not committed, think of how many divorces would have been avoided, think of how many families would still be together, think of how many children would still have a daddy to come home to, and in some cases a mom," said Laurie (via the Christian Post), who leads the Harvest Church, a born-again Christian mega-church in Riverside.

He reportedly continued, "I am not speaking from an ivory tower. I was conceived out of wedlock. My mom, married and divorced seven times with lots of boyfriends in between, had a little fling down a long beach and I was conceived. I was not planned. I was, what you call, an illegitimate child. But I was planned ... by God, as is every child."

bradley-delp-memorial.jpg
Actually, Laurie added there are no illegitimate children, but there can be illegitimate parents. He said he was lucky he was not aborted, and he went on to make the usual Bible-thumping pitches against abortion, teen pregnancy, the spread of AIDS and that oldie but goody, adultery.

The chrome-domed pastor also sprinkled in some pop-culture references to let the crowd know he was hip to Hollywood gossip. He noted that despite being drop-dead gorgeous, that Halle Berry has suffered problem relationships and that Amy Winehouse suffered drug problems before recently dropping dead.

However, for the preacher's example of someone who had been on top, remained unhappy and wound up taking his own life, he choose someone many followers in his age bracket had never heard of: Bradley E. Delp, the band Boston's lead vocalist who committed suicide in March 2007. The note Delp left behind stated he was "so lonely."

"If you drink from the well of success and possessions, you will thirst again," Laurie told the crowd. "If you drink from the well of partying and sex and drugs, you will thirst again. If you drink even from the well of religion, you will still be thirsty. Only God can meet the deepest need of your life. That's what you are longing for."

My Voice Nation Help
63 comments
sister.in.Christ.
sister.in.Christ.

It's sad that so many miss the message entirely...the greatest commandment is about LOVE, not bickering and stabbing each other with wicked words.  "If anyone speaks, he should do it as if speaking the very words of God."  What about love your nieghbor as yourself?  What would Jesus do?  Most of the posts below seem to be rather evil-inspired....

TWCnone
TWCnone

Greg Laurie is an idiot!Religious oppression and the right wing evangelical non-sense nutcases are the problems.Stop oppressing me Greg Laurie, casual sex is not the problem, YOU ARE!!.Your crazy, your verbal tirade of abuse and UN-patriotic bullshit you spew is disgusting.Your insane, go away.Casual sex between consenting adults is not a problem.Idiots spewing hatred and lies via religion is the closest thing to evil you will ever really see.

Bentedge
Bentedge

THE real threat is the cops who believe they are above the law...

The Gimp
The Gimp

Why are they all giving the Nazi salute?  I suppose the delusion is similar........

The Gimp
The Gimp

How many virgins do you think are in this crowd?

The Gimp
The Gimp

A smart salesman would stand at the entrance to the Harvest Crusade and take down information on everyone that enters.  Talk about a goldmine of gullible leads...........

The Gimp
The Gimp

These militant Christians are as scary as the Taliban.  His rants sound like the bitter opinions of someone who can't get laid.  Hey Laurie, smoke a joint, take a couple shots, have sex with a 20 year old, and you'll change your opinion of what a "holy" experience really is.

QUAKESVIEW
QUAKESVIEW

IT'S DEFINITELY ONE OF THEM. PEOPLE ARE SO BLIND TO THE CONSEQUENCES ON SO MANY LEVELS WHEN WE USE SEX IN A WAY NOT DESIGNED FOR HUMANS.

Cara
Cara

The Stands were empty at times because everyone was on the field giving their life to the lord. 

Igor
Igor

Deuteronomy 23.2“No one born of a forbidden union may enter the assembly of the Lord. Even to the tenth generation, none of his descendants may enter the assembly of the Lord. Hmm, looks like Mr. Laurie missed this verse.  Since it's about him, I'm sure he just ignored it. 

Rowdy Otto Riemer
Rowdy Otto Riemer

"If you drink from the well of  [x] you will thirst again.... Only God can meet the deepest need of your life. That's what you are longing for." 

I've been an atheist for several years now. I can honestly say I'm as content as ever, and more content than I can remember being as a christian. Of course, there are those who say I was never a true christian, but they're just silly.

I don't think that strictly speaking, one night stands are evil, but they're certainly not the wisest choice to make. But, if measures are taken to practice safe sex, they're probably not very detrimental. It's a tremendous stretch to say that consensual sex is America's biggest threat.

P.L.
P.L.

One hundred percent truth.  Thanks Pastor Greg Laurie!

Jesus is my Savior!
Jesus is my Savior!

Pastor Greg is awesome... he is only speaking the truth. What a beautiful day it will be for the believers when Jesus comes for His church... I just pray for everyone and their salvation. Harvest was a beautiful sight. <3

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

Sorry everyone for posting on all your comments.. I just havent gotten the pounding from behind a joto like me deserves. I claim to back the church even though they dont let me get married to my bf Reynaldo. I'm so angry, keep messing with me and i'll suck you all off!! bring it!

xxPREACHERxxo
xxPREACHERxxo

Pastor Greg is preacher the word as is. Choose Christ or choose Hell. It's all up to you. For all the people upset and bitter cause the truth hurts. To bad.. Got a problem with the bible? Take it up with God.

Joe
Joe

People who run into CALTRANS vehicles are a bigger danger to America.

gustavoarellano
gustavoarellano

OHMIGOD, Laurie is not only sounding like Chuck Smith these days, he's looking like him! I'll leave it to the conspiracy people to sort that one out...

Anon
Anon

Sorry but the real threat to America is auto-tune.

Nuff said.

Jack Grimshaw
Jack Grimshaw

"Only God can meet the deepest need of your life. That's what you are longing for." I'm always SO open to some deluded, superstitious nitwit telling me what my needs are and what I'm longing for. Yes, indeed ...

Rick Seph
Rick Seph

This guy is an asshole and the fools that buy his garbage are bigger assholes.

They are the REAL threat to America!

MatthewTCoker
MatthewTCoker

I figured as much Cara. But having been to that stadium many, many, many times, I know the field is not so large that it can hold as many people as would be filling all those empty seats. And just based on the crowd on the field captured in the video, it's not like it's wall-to-wall people there either. Lots of empty patches on the field. Keep the faith.

karen
karen

No, he didn't ignore it. You really shouldn't quote scripture unless you know what you are talking about. It makes you look kind of dumb.

Hank Mardoukus
Hank Mardoukus

Any guy who is capable of getting tang would laugh at this. P.L you need to stop watching Telemundo while rubbing one out and go get some stank on your hang lo. Stop being a joto!

Sgt. Scholes YA
Sgt. Scholes YA

Something tells me you like it when you were fondled by your priest

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

amen broseph.. Was that you wearing a pink shirt that said "Jotos for greg 2012"?

Ihateusc
Ihateusc

i'll take it up in ya punk

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

There is a "special" place in Hell for people just like you, my friend.

You'd damn better hope you MISS it, because the train your on, is speeding on it's way there., and you're  one of the passengers.

Pais sider rider
Pais sider rider

your right big guy.. your such a big guy. What are you doing big guy

Hank
Hank

Greg Laurie is a major douche! Give this dude a few more years and you will find some good dirt about him.. He's definitely a joto!

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

"Check Yourself" when your HOUR comes , my friend. "Tonight, your very soul may be required of thee"

You  DO have one of those don't you?

Jew Friend
Jew Friend

God or your ex bf rodrigo. you told me he met the deepest need in your life or gave it to you the deepest. I mixed them up.. How you been otherwise big guy?

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

You can count ME as one of those "ASSHOLES"  too, darlin'.

It's an "Honor", for Jesus.

Jesus is my Savior!
Jesus is my Savior!

Actually I wore a black shirt with hot pink workds that said HARVEST CRUSADES!!! JESUS saves and  God bless you.

Rick Seph
Rick Seph

How do you know?

Did a guy really build a boat 2000 years ago bigger than the Queen Mary?? Come on.

Bill T.
Bill T.

Just where is this "hell" place you're talking about?

Bill T.
Bill T.

Gets my vote as a candidate for one of top ten most incoherent responses ever!

Triplemuse
Triplemuse

he's been in ministry for over 30 years. pretty sure any 'dirt' you are searching for would've been exploited by people like you by now.

Bill T.
Bill T.

Ahh, you couldn't compete with the guy just smuggled in for your dishwashing postion?  !Que lastima!

Bill T.
Bill T.

I have no doubt that you could kick my butt. It makes you no more right than before.

Cdobie50
Cdobie50

yes he did. Rick if you want sum of Cdobie bring it on. I will pin you down and rub one off. I'm a man of god preaching the good word.

Hank
Hank

his dirt is probably on your tip you lil puto

mitch young
mitch young

Everytime i made them squirm with there tips in my mouth i felt so macho!

Cdobie's pastor
Cdobie's pastor

is that job you told me about? you know the one where you got fired for washing off more than dishes. You claim to hate immigrants so much yet you would give them head in the parking lot in your car and claim you were showing them who was boss of this country. Still baffles me to this day

mitch young
mitch young

I put myself through UC washing dishes, among other jobs. It was a pretty good gig, free food, didn't have to think that much. And, since we didn't import a 36 year old with three kids to 'educate', feed, house via section 8, I saved the state, oh, 130,000 at least.

Now Trending

Anaheim Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Fashion

General

Loading...