PHOTOS: Star Tours & The Little Mermaid Rides at Disneyland and California Adventure
The loading area looked a lot like the Haunted Mansion, minus all the goth kids.
Alright, so before I go any further I also have to admit that I've never seen The Little Mermaid. I know, what kind of dedicated Disney reporter am I? I got into Disney animation with Aladdin, so I missed the boat on Mermaid. That, and I'm a guy.
But here's what I've been able to tell about the storyline from the ride: This mermaid girl, Ariel, wants to be a human and illustrates it by showing a trinket to Fat Yellow Fish. Just kidding, I know enough to know his name is Flounder. It is a him, right?
Sea creatures love music...
...especially when Ariel's crabs orchestrate!
Ariel's ice-cream head is ready for the salon!
Uh-oh. Grimace loves drag, but hates Ariel!
Actually, I take it back: Ursula was clearly the best part of the ride. Her audio animatronic is--pardon my freedom speak--fucking awesome. Click here to see an earlier post with video of her.
Ariel and Generic Dark-Haired Man kiss!
Daddy approves of their relationship! And of sweet beards and even sweeter abs! Oh, and he has a trident because, you know, that's what motherfuckers with sweet beards/abs have.
And they get married! And then, five years later, they're no longer having sex, resent each other, and Generic Dark-Haired Man is having an affair with Tiana from The Princess and the Frog.
It's cool though because Ariel just got a ton of ding-dong photos emailed to her from Anthony Weiner.