[UPDATED with Boxing Match:] Octomom Nadya Suleman Stepping Into the Ring to Save Her House

​UPDATE, JUNE 15, 9:29 A.M.: Now that her bikini car wash has been scrubbed, Octomom Nadya Suleman can turn to a more traditional way to raise money to stave off foreclosure on her La Habra home.

Like get a real job? Are you fucking nuts!?!

No, "more traditional" for the sub-D Lister involves a plane trip to New Jersey--center of the unreal reality universe--so she can step into the ring of a celebrity boxing match.

Radar Online fights for the scoop.

"Nadya will take on any non professional or trained personalities in the three round novelty match," Celebrity Boxing and Wrestling CEO Damon Feldman reportedly tells the gossip site. "I'm excited to have Nadya on board. I was always looking to get Octomom in the ring and with her in-shape body I'm sure she will be a perfect fit."

He's not the only one who'd like to get the single mother of 14 in the ring. The deal is she'll wear oversized gloves and ego-fitting headgear for three, one-minute rounds against a yet-to-be-named opponent. (How about Kate Gosselin?)

Tickets, which went on sale yesterday, are only $20 each if you'd like to travel to the Pennant East in Westville, New Jersey, for the Wednesday, Jan. 29, bout.

Or, just wait for the pay-per-vomit match.

TMZ.com

​UPDATE, JUNE 13, 1:25 P.M.: Octomom's bikini car wash has washed out.

Both the managers of the car wash and Nadya Suleman's . . . erm . . . entertainment career confirmed for a reporter that the scrub-down has been scrubbed.

La Habra's single mother of 14 had been reportedly set to join Charlie Sheen's porn-star escort Capri Anderson, overnight guest of Reggie Bush January Gessert and Mel Gibson mistress Violet Kowal at the suds fest set for this Saturday.

TMZ, which broke the news of the car wash and cancellation, had reported the cause for the charity event was Suleman's mortgage, which she is apparently unable to pay again.

Octo-ho's (from left): Kowal, Gessert, Anderson.

​
But fear not, Carnauba lovers: the hunt is on for a site for a rescheduled car wash.

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ORIGINAL POST, JUNE 3, 3:19 P.M.: The News Gods have conspired to prevent me from finding a new photo for this update, as Octomom Nadya Suleman is reportedly holding a bikini car wash to save her La Habra house (again).

And the single mother of 14 has really dipped deep into the D-list to pluck the "friends" who will be on hand (and in thong) to help her. The only one I'd heard of was Tila Tequila. I don't believe the others would bat a Dr. Drew casting director's eye: Capri Anderson, January Gessert and Violet Kowal. WTF? And by WTF, I mean Who The Fuck?


TMZ fills in the blanks: Anderson is the porn star who claimed Charlie Sheen roughed her up in a New York hotel last October. Ah, remember the good old days? Before we knew exactly how sick Charlie was?

Gessert was an unknown Calabassas waitress until she was seen leaving a restaurant with Kim Kardashian's then-boyfriend Reggie Bush one night in March 2010. The next morning, Gessert was spotted again, this time making the walk of shame from the USC football-program destroyer's house.

And Kowal was one of Mel Gibson's alleged mistresses. Wait a second, I think I blogged about her before. Hold on . . . Oh, yeah:

• Michelle "Bombshell" McGee Teams Up With Mel Gibson's Alleged Mistress for Strip Tour

Fortunately for Octomom's La Habra neighbors, who have had it up to here with this shit, she's planning to hold her un-star-studded bikini car-wash fund-raiser in LA. Because they really "get" her there, you know? (Note to LA: Take her. Pleeeeease!) A June 18 date has been set, as have the prices to get, uh, buffed: $20 per car and $30 per SUV.

And the first 14 customers get to drive off with a kid!