For nearly 60 years, tourists have traveled from all across the globe to visit Disneyland. And for just as many years, tourists have been leaving a lot of crap behind them before making their way back home.
But if you lost it at Disneyland, odds are one of the park's numerous Cast Members have found it. And, luckily for us, they've been picking those items up (most times while wearing thick rubber gloves) and taking mental notes along the way.
I asked a few Cast Members (who shall remain anonymous for this article) for some of their most interesting finds throughout the years. Look for them after the jump.
Okay, the crack pipe I get. Someone--I'm assuming a crackhead--had it on them as they made their way toward the entrance, and when they noticed the security checkpoint they panicked and dumped it. That, or they got really high just before eating at Rainforest Cafe, and then decided to give up crack once and for all after the giant frogs on the walls started talking to them. But the blowtorch in the park?!? That makes me feel safe. Eh, so long as it wasn't a real weapon, I guess.
- "I found a blowtorch in the flower beds by Grizzly River Run (California Adventure), and
also helped APD (Anaheim Police Department) fish a crack pipe out of the water by Rainforest Cafe."
Jesus Christ! A switchblade?!?
- "I found a switchblade in a towel dispenser in the east restroom."
Was a Jet looking to start a knife fight with a Shark? Is Toontown like the streets of New York City circa 1952? What the hell is going on down there?
Female condom + weed + dentures = Best Sunday Afternoon Ever.
- "I found a female condom in the Downtown Disney parking lot, a joint in a recycling bin, and a bag of pot in a restroom because some dude got scared and left it on the toilet seat. We also found some dentures in
a parking lot."
Yo, ho! Yo, ho! I see a large booty in your future!
- "Extra-large thong panties in Pirates of the Caribbean after Grad Nite."
Do you get the sense of a theme going on here? Are women--extra-large, grannies and otherwise--just itching to drop their drawers as soon as they get inside the park? Is there some unspoken agreement between female park goers, or do they send out a newsletter with all pertinent upcoming panty-dropping info. And if so, can I get on that list?
- "A huge pair of granny panties. Someone tried to flush
them down the toilet in the 'Princess' bathroom."
Understandable. I've had numerous extended bathroom experiences where I wished for a flask full of Jack Daniels. In fact, oddly enough, I once lost a Jack Daniels flask at Disneyland while I was... OH SHIT!
- "A Jack Daniels flask in a toilet seat cover
I bet the person who left this one behind wished they hadn't lost their Jack Daniels flask earlier in the day.
- "A pile of shit in a Space Mountain car."