[UPDATED with Date of Whipping:] Robert Rizzo's House Creamed

Categories: Breaking News
katy-perry-whipped-cream-150.jpg
UPDATE, MAY 9, 12:51 A.M.: It dawned one me after posting on the claimed creaming of Robert Rizzo's Huntington Beach abode that I'd neglected to include the date of the apparent incident.

According to the Association Of Human Excellence (A.O.H.E.): "Rizzo got creamed on Cinco de Mayo, which our association finds fitting for many reasons. According to Time magazine, Cinco de Mayo is summed up as a 'Mexican David defeating a French Goliath.' In this case, Rizzo is the Goliath because of his massive bank account and grotesquely fat body."

ORIGINAL POST, MAY 9, 10:51 A.M.: "Robert Rizzo has gotten creamed" begins an email from someone identifying themselves as "the Association Of Human Excellence" or (A.O.H.E.).

The group "aims to encourage the betterment of mankind." That betterment was most recently manifested in the supposed repeated defacing--or, as A.O.H.E. put it, "extreme landscaping"--of scandalized controversial ex-Bell city administrator Rizzo's Huntington Beach home.

The email includes this photo of a sign placed on the entryway, whipped cream canisters on the front brick wall and what's presumed to be whipping cream on the gate and wall of what's said to be Rizzo's house. The sign reads "RIZZO GETS CREAMED."

Robert-Rizzo-cream-house.jpg
Courtesy of A.O.H.E.
"A large amount of whipped cream has been splattered all over former City of Bell despot Robert Rizzo's house, in Huntington Beach, in an act of civil justice and community improvement," explains the email. "The action is intended as a reverse metaphor: being done by citizens whose tax dollars made Rizzo a corrupt fat cat.

"Instead of ordinary people getting creamed by his greed, lack of decency and drunk-driving predilection, Rizzo (and his house which is a possession of ill gotten gains) now can have a taste of oppression. The creamed become creamers. Rizzo once again learns what the common people think of him."

But A.O.H.E. suspects creaming does not trouble the indicted former city official too much since, "We assume that he probably loves cream in all of its fattening glory."

Evidence of that:

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But A.O.H.E. sees a higher purpose than simply annoying a fat man.

"Just like he illegally hid monies in various accounts and documents, we have hidden cream in various nooks, crannies and all over his front gate," reads the email.

A quick check of the Huntington Beach Police Department crime maps shows no recent reports of vandalism near Rizzo's Surf City home. That doesn't mean the creaming didn't happen; it may not have been reported to cops.

The creamin' follows an apparent March 29 action A.O.H.E. has taken responsibility for: the distribution of dozens of chocolate pudding packs on Rizzo's yard, house, walls and front gate.

That one was accompanied by a sign that read, "PUDDIN' ON THE SHITS." Here's a photo from that:

Robert-Rizzo-puddin-house.jpg
Courtesy of A.O.H.E.

Rizzo faces several corruption counts in Los Angeles County, where as the city administrator of tiny Bell he made $800,000 in annual salary and was building a nearly $1 million yearly retirement pension, according to authorities.

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4 comments
John
John

these guys sound like suburban heroes fighting the righteous battle against injustice!

Guest
Guest

Geez, you guys need to get copies of Webster's and Strunk and White.

'Scandalized' is the adjective describing the person who is shocked by the improper behavior, 'scandalous' is the adjective describing the person and/or behavior doing the shocking (though, like 'gay', it's taken on a sexual connotation that makes its use iffy)

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