[BOMBIER BOMBSHELL:] Shocking Message De-Coded in Barack Obama Certificate of Live Birth

Categories: Breaking News
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Through top-secret Army intelligence de-coding methods, a source working exclusively for Navel Gazing has uncovered a shocking revelation in President Barack Obama's Certificate of Live Birth from Hawaii.

Rather than come right out and say what the secret message is contained on the form no one knew existed until yesterday, we'll allow viewers at home to find it themselves--after the jump . . .

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Our source, let's just call him "Shallow Larynx," asks that you jot down the following letters from the form above:

Line 1B . . . 1st letter on the line.
Line 1B . . . 5th letter on the line.
Line 5A . . . Subtract the 3rd number from the 2nd number of the birth year; the remainder equals the letter in chronological order in the alphabet. Example: 7 represents G.
Line 6A . . . 1st letter on the line.
Line 6B . . . 1st letter on the line.

Line 6C . . . 13th letter on the line.
Line 6C . . . 21st letter on the line. (Important Tip: Don't count the ampersand.)

Line 7D . . . Add the 1st and last numbers from the address and see which letter of the alphabet it represents.
Line 7D . . . 12th letter on the line.
Line 9 . . . 7th letter on the line.
Line 12B . . . 10th letter on the line.
Line 13 . . . 3rd letter on the line.

In case you messed up the first time as yours truly did, the answer follows on the next page:

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8 comments
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Gustheweaksaucemaster
Gustheweaksaucemaster

When Gustavo said "get out of his office" did you remember to close the janitor's closet door quietly so you didn't hurt his ears? And what was he doing there before it was time for him to empty the waste baskets, vacuum, and clean the men's room stalls?

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Kmarks
Kmarks

That is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.

Bill T.
Bill T.

Really? Gee, imagine that ... . So what's your excuse for missing the point?

katahdin
katahdin

You never saw George Bush

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