80-Year-Old Coot Theatens to Blow Up Sears

Categories: Crime-iny
A weekend call from Orange County routed through a Sears call center in Florida came from an 80-year-old man who made a comment about blowing up the department store at Laguna Hills mall, according to authorities.

"He thought he was getting the runaround," an Orange County sheriff's official reportedly said--which for anyone who has been in call center runaround hell brings to mind Chris Rock's famous line about the O.J. Simpson murders, "Now, I'm not sayin' he should have killed her . . . but I understand."

The Consumerist has the scoop on the local threat to aisles filled with Kenmore washers, Apostrophe dresses and Craftsman chain saws.

Cops say the unidentified geezer called to bitch about repair service he'd received. When he was transferred from one rep to another, he apparently snapped and let it slip about how much the Laguna Hills Sears store might be itchin' for a bombin'.

A search of the Laguna Hills mall produced no explosive devices other than the food court's chili dogs. Unfortunately for Gramps, such calls are easily traced, and deputies arrived at the man's front door wanting to know what was what. The old coot apparently admitted to being the caller, but deputies concluded he didn't really mean to and decided against an arrest.

That Orange County deputies resisted the urge to further crowd their jail cells is rare but not the most surprising part of this sad tale. Sears still routes calls to Florida? Not India? There's one reason to shop there.

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Hey Cokehead...It is ok for you to class us old folks as geezers and coots...we old coots and geezers are used to disrespect from you and your fellow snot nosed wet behind the ears morally bankrupt cheating lying punks...and many of us are looking forward to the sordid squalor and serfdom you are heading into...history goes back further than the invention of Nintendo...but you wouldn't know that...Matt, disrespect is sown freely...but you wont like your harvest...laugh at us...we just helped build the country for you snots to destriy...

Matthew T. Coker
Matthew T. Coker

So, I guess what you're really saying is don't go onto your lawn to get my wiffle ball.


ha! "glad they didn't take this guy seriously"? ? Next time it won't be a threat. Cops..


Old coots are funny, glad they didn't take this guy too seriously.

When I worked at Whole Foods in Tustin(circa 2001), there was an old coot who would come in once a week looking for "his" raw milk. We could only get so much raw milk per week at the time, and tried to save some for everybody that wanted it, but he had a hard on for the stuff. On more than one occasion, when I'd tell him we only had a couple jars of the stuff to give him, he'd say "if you don't have more raw milk next week, im going to shoot you with my rifle." He said it so much it just became the thing he was known for. "Hey new guy...that old dude might threaten to shoot you. Pay no mind." Gotta love old coots.

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