Orange County Interwebs Horror Show Tokes, Litters and Dances Its Way Into 2011

By Matt Coker Tue., Jan. 11 2011 at 8:20 AM

The first Orange County Interwebs Horror Show of 2011 looks for local smoke shops that don't card and lovingly admires a Surf City solo dancer and a bitch who out-Octomoms Octomom.

Don't worry, those last two are separate items.

Speaking of items, if you see something that belongs in this review of stuff written from or about Orange County on the Interwebs, e-mail me a link, 'k?

Illustration by Jay Brockman

When Smoke Gets In Your iPhone Joe B. does not want much in life. He just wants to find a "smoke shop" in Orange County that does not card--you know, ask for identification. Unfortunately for Joe, his yelper helpers would rather crack wise. "Yeah, the illegal ones," answers Mari "You Wann" A., who later adds, "I smell narc." Meanwhile, Chris H. asks via iPhone, "Smoke shops as in cigar shops . . . or head shops so you can buy your bongs and screens and Zig Zags, you fuckin' burnout?!?!?" (Yelp)

Seventeen Is Enough "If you thought Octomom's breeding capabilities were disgusting, get a load of this bitch," advises a poster who notes, "(Dog joke)" in case you didn't get it. (Got it?) The bitch in question--a Rhodesian Ridgeback from EbereschenhofI, Germany, not a media ho in La Habra--gave birth "naturally" to 17 puppies. Etana had nine boy dogs and eight girl dogs, informs the piece. Suck on that, Nadya Suleman! "When they all want to nurse at once, she probably just lies there and hates the jerk who knocked her up," jokes the poster, again referring to the canine, not . . . oh, never mind. "I say we volunteer to get this brave mama a new pair of boobs and some vaginoplasty surgery, stat." And don't forget the Angelina Jolie lips! (The Frisky)

So You Think You Can Dance Billy Idol had a huge hit in the 1980s with "Dancing With Myself." The fellow in the video below from Huntington Beach Pier obviously takes that song to heart. Or, as the poster put it, "he kicks, cartwheels and dances to the tune in his head." (I Am Bored)

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Ryan Feltman

haha this is my video! I took it on vacation. It's crazy seeing it get linked different places!

http://futurepromotions.blogsp...

Kimba10

Matt, you need to apologize to the dog. Using the dog's name and octocon's name in the same sentence is just wrong. The dog didn't have her babies to get a reality show and fame and fortune.

Make sure you watch the Oprah show on Friday - Suze Orman and Oprah take her down on squandering the money meant for the orphan octuplets. It's available until Feb 6.

Also, the German video is disturbing and depressing, but very revealing. The Suleman orphans live in a hellhole.

donedonedoneandOVER

Possessed by the soul of Michael Jackson. And at the same dosage.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone did that? I'd like to see all of Walmart rock in unison

I really love this guy to bits. I wish he waited for his bus near my windows.Oh, the difference between the bitch and the other dog is that in EbereschenhofI, that's not the one whose program is entitled From Diapers to Insanity.

Really. That's actually what the Germans called their documentary about La Habra's Maimer of the Year. The other difference is that those puppies live in better cages in Germany than those babies do here. Why hasn't Matt spoken with CPS about Serial Child Abuse and how it can be neglected in Orange County. I suggest he go to the pound and do a comparison of the cages there with the ones on Madonna Lane. A real comparison to see which are more humane.