Ineffective Drive-Thru Robber With a Plastic Bag on His Head Caught in Laguna Beach

Categories: Crime-iny
All he needs now is a toy gun.
​​We love stupid criminals. Which is why this story about a stupid, completely ineffective criminal is better than most.

Last Tuesday, a man with a plastic bag over his head pulled up to a Fullerton Wendy's drive-thru window, pointed what appeared to be a gun at the employee and demanded money. Now, we're not sure whether the employee couldn't understand the request, knew a fake gun when he saw one, or was asking his fellow co-workers which one of them may have staged a prank, but the employee simply closed the window and walked away. So, Mr. Plastic Bag drove away. No harm done.

How this story got by us the first time, we'll never know. But not on the second go-around. Mr. Plastic Bag tried to strike again, this time at a Jack In the Box in Laguna Beach.

Police have charged David Brian Mattson, a 48-year-old homeless man, with 12 attempted robberies and--get this--a single successful one. Some drive-thru employee feels foolish right now.

Our sister paper in Los Angeles, LA Weekly, has the story of his arrest:

A police sergeant was waiting outside a gas station on the way out of Laguna Beach, hoping to catch sight of the suspect's 2006 Chevy Malibu after a another attempted plastic-bag robbery was reported at a Jack In the Box on South Coast Highway.

That's when the suspect made his grand-finale doofus move. With the police car in the parking lot, he walked into the Village Mart Gas Station at 120 S. Coast Hwy. (bag over his head, business as usual), pulled out what turned out to be a harmless toy handgun and demanded money from the attendant.

Laguna Beach police Lieutenant Jason Kravetz told City News Service that upon spotting the police car outside, Mattson walked out of the gas station empty-handed, trying to play it cool like he wasn't just pointing a gun at a gas-station attendant while wearing a plastic bag on his head. (No, we're never going to get over the plastic-bag thing.)

"The clerk ran out after him, saying, 'He's got a gun,' and that's when he was arrested,'' Kravetz said.

Not surprisingly, based on his checkered record as a criminal, Mattson is being held on $50,000 bail and can't afford to make payment.

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Melon Head
Melon Head

I would think it's really hard to breathe after not too long. This would tend to cut back on the window of time. I doubt it was a dry-cleaning bag or the bags that protect new Hewlett-Packard printers in their cartons---both have illustrated "do not do this" warnings printed all over them.

So, what kind of a plastic bag was it, specifically? Gallon size Ziploc, or a grocery store bag? If a grocery store bag, he was double screwed by the need to see what progress his armed robbery is making.

I use gallon size Ziplocs for all my food storage needs--I can't say one will fit over my cranium, because I personally have evolved all the way to present day h.sapien. If he indeed went the clear Ziploc route, chances are he is of Cro Magnon, Neanderthal, or even h.habilis vintage, with a much smaller cranial case.

Bottom line: Guns don't kill people; Criminals with guns DO.


Unless the gun is, you know, fake.

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