HB Bros Are Getting Out-Broed. Shameful.

​Huntington Beach, you should be ashamed. You are being... OUT-BROED.

There is a thing happening out in the world, and it involves bros, perpetuating bro-tastic acts on other bros. It's called, Bros Icing Bros. The point is to ambush your bro with a Smirnoff Ice, at which point, he must drink it without protest. That's it. That's the whole game. Do I give a shit that women aren't included? NO. The finer points of the game, as pulled from the Bros Icing Bros website...



1) You cannot refuse an Ice. If you refuse to drink the Ice you are instantly excommunicated and shunned, and thus can never Ice another bro or be Iced.

brosicingbros.com

Pledge bros.

​2) If you are Iced by a fellow bro you can Ice Block: When presented with an Ice, you pull out an Ice of your own and reverse the Ice on your bro. The ultimate Ice insult.

There are many, many photos on the site of decidedly un-bro-looking New Yorkers in suits chugging the sugar beer on one knee, all while bandying the word bro about as if they come from the bro Mecca.

The creator of the site is a bro known only as Joe, and according to a report from Fortune Magazine, more photo submissions are coming from the New York crowd because all those marketing and advertising firms are hoping that sucking down the milky swill will somehow imbue them with wizard-like viral marketing skills. Sorry suits: Smirnoff's media director, Zsoka McDonald, insists this was an organic creation, and that Smirnoff had no hand in the most ironic booze trend (we drink it, because it's so bad! Ha!) since hipsters starting drinking PBR because they think PBR doesn't tell them to (It's called murketing, Portland, look it up).

It actually started in Southern colleges, where Joe defines their bros as guys who "drink beer and wear backwards baseball caps. A lot of them drive SUVs and listen to Dave Matthews Band," Clearly, Joe is not clear on the finer points of bro-dom.

I take a lot of crap for you, Huntington Beach. I'm forced to defend you and your bro-gasmic behaviors everyday, even though I don't own a white F-150. Or a pit bull. I don't surf, and I only know two guys who started their own clothing company (read: screen-printed tees). I still listen to 40 Oz. to Freedom, though, and I was born in the Huntington Beach Hospital.  All three of my schools, from elementary to middle to high school, were within a mile of each other (Smith, Dwyer, HBHS.) So I believe I had some authority to say...

What the fuck, bros? There is an Internet meme sweeping the nation that has the word bro in it, twice, and it came from the South?!

Dude! Bro up, bros! Go big or go home!