Get (Sugar) High at Knott's Berry Farm

Not exactly the healthiest stuff.

What's the best way to convince a bunch of overweight little kids and their parents to quit their high sugar intake, clean up their diets and avoid diabetes forever? The Weekly received the news today that the American Diabetes Association has come up with the bright idea of making them walk through Knott's Berry Farm for a few hours, break a nice sweat and be tempted by a million fruit jellies, funnel cakes, garlic fries, cotton candy and every other diabetes-inducing food out there. Yeah.

The organization has decided that instead of holding its first annual "Step Out: Walk to Fight Diabetes" fundraising walkathon at, say, a park or a coastal wetland, the best place to convince people to avoid excess sugar is at an amusement Park that was founded on jelly.

This "bold new attack" to "fight diabetes" sounds like another walkathon black hole: thousands will be raised, little shiny ribbons will be worn, but somehow, mysteriously, the money will disappear and won't do much to solve the actual problem.

Fear not future diabetics: Those participating in the fundraiser will receive discounted tickets (and maybe some free jelly? A funnel cake?) on the day of the event in mid-October.