Urgent, Dire OctoMom News Update

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News reporters, news photographers, news helicopters, police cars and dozens and dozens of random (apparently bored) locals flocked to a La Habra neighborhood after 10 p.m. tonight, all to see OctoMom arrive at her Orange County home with two of the more recent offspring.   
For context: Ponder the dire state of our world affairs--terrorism, war, disgusting sex crimes and cover-ups, pending economic collapse, grotesque political corruption, disgraceful health care costs, sex slavery, steady erosion of individual rights, corporate corruption, polar cap melting, Ed Arnold, oil thievery, historic traffic congestion, idiots graduating from high school, evaporated lifelong savings, scary police state gains, asteroid threats, job loss, Dana Rohrabacher, AIDS, homelessness, George W. Bush, global warming, rampant credit fraud, unnecessary toll roads, pending devastating earthquakes, etc--and then think about what is capturing peoples' interest. 

Based on television news broadcasts, the OctoMom scene tonight reminded me of the ridiculous, infamous O.J. Simpson SUV chase in 90s after the ex-football star's wife and friend, Ron Goldman, were murdered.  

"There you go guys, a crazy scene," said Ed, a FOX 11 on scene reporter in La Habra.

"It's amazing to see this," replied an anchor.

Yeah.

Here's the action we saw: Inside a dark SUV, OctoMom was driven to her residential garage. 

And the door closed! 

And?

Nope, that's it.

I feel satisfied. Don't you?

Let me know when she pisses, okay?

--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly


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