Chuck Smith Says Economic Crisis Means Jesus Coming Soon!

In our recent obsession over Purpose-Driven Rick and Mariners Church's gay-employee-firing controversy, we at the Weekly have been derelict in reporting on the other people that make Orange County Christianity so damn fascinating--and, by other people, I mean Calvary Chapel founder and pastor Chuck Smith. So we apologize for not bringing to your attention this article from earlier this month in which the homo-hating teddy bear of a man argues all signs portend to his Savior returning.

"I believe that the Lord has put out a lot of signals that He's coming very soon and I think it's important that we be aware of these signals," Smith told a Christian news service. "Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because they could tell what the weather was going to be like by looking at the skies but He said, 'You didn't know the times of my coming.' I think that the signs are out and if we are alert at all we can surely see that things are winding up."

The reporter asked Smith to bring a message to Americans "at this time of crisis," and he responded thusly: "I think that God allows these things. The Lord said that 'when my judgments are in the land, it will cause my people to turn to me.' So I believe that we are seeing the judgment of God in our land and I'm praying that the people will turn to the Lord."

Sorry if I'm not holding my breath. Chuck has been predicting the End Times since he was saving hippies off Corona del Mar State Beach in the 1960s.