Guitar Legend
Taking your Guitar Hero obsession to a whole new level.
House Of Blues
1530 S. Disneyland Dr.
Anaheim CA 92802
714-778-2583

Aqua Net, 9 p.m.
DJ Sticky Pete sprays the sounds of disco, new wave, freestyle and electro.
Que Sera
1923 E. Seventh St.
Long Beach CA 90813
562-599-6170

April Spain, 8:00 p.m.
Soothing jazz carried on an ocean breeze.
Wind & Sea
34699 St. of the Golden Lantern
Dana Point CA 92629
949-496-6500

Screening: Blade Runner, 8 p.m.
The year 2019 doesn't seem so far off now...
Bay Theatre
340 Main Street
Seal Beach CA 90740
562-431-9988

If there's one thing that unites just about everyone in Orange County, it's probably not opposition to the War in Iraq or a sincere belief that our beaches are too clean. No, that one thing is this: gas is too fucking expensive and it's about fucking time to do something about it.

Fortunately, somebody is: Irvine businessman Mitch Goldstone, who doubles as a consumer activist who's also opposed bogus credit card fees. This morning, Goldstone alerted us to a July 3 rally against gas fees that he's hoping will draw hundreds of people. The rally will take place at 7:30 a.m. at the intersection of Jamboree and Barranca Parkway. Organizers will have placards and signs on hand; all you need to do is show up. Plus, there's free food.

Goldstone says the rally isn't targeting gas stations. Think of it more as an inspirational picket that could prove viral. The next thing you know we'll all be boycotting our own cars and standing on the sidewalks yelling at the scabs who keep driving.

http://news.yahoo.com/prweb/20080630/bs_prweb/prweb1063174_1

Like Rich, we're excited to see the "new" Orange Coast, and wish it the best even though it's now technically a competitor. I've yet to see the issue that Rich dissected but did catch the one before, one that already had hints of the literary journalism and well-written analysis readers can expect under newish editor Marty Smith.

One article stuck out in particular: Matthew Heller's contention that Orange County Christian pastors try not to mix politics with their faith. "If the GOP has realized that politics and an undiluted faith-based agenda don’t mix, it has finally arrived at a conclusion reached by some of Orange County’s most prominent evangelical leaders, who for the most part have steered clear of strident political activism," Heller asserts. It's a rather crazy argument (just check out the posts in our "Gimme that OC Religion" archives) with little proof other than Heller corralling three pastors to say so: Rick Warren of Saddleback Church (who's gone on the record to oppose gay marriage--gee, wonder how his Purpose-Driven flock will vote on the proposed ban-gay-marriage amendment this coming November), Dale Burke of Fullerton's First Evangelical Free Church (who tells Heller he's against gay marriage and states, "When people hold to a core set of values ... it’s natural that that they would align themselves with a party that holds similar values"--yep, no politics there!) and the Crystal Cathedral's Robert Schuller the Elder.

Schuller has made it a career of telling people he used to be political but hasn't been for years and does the same with Heller. “Every time you have an issue that’s controversial, there are smart people on both sides," Schuller says, "I don’t like to take positions when there are intelligent people on both sides”--a funny statement considering he let Mike Carona slime his way across the Cathedral's stage.

Then comes the matter of Schuller's McCarthyite past.

From faithful commentator Kat:

I'm asking everyone I can.....my son has a pig he has raised for the FFA at school. He is supposed to take it to the OC Fair July 20th, but due to a death in the family, he is supposed to go to Ohio with his sister on July 1st. The school has told me that I am responsible for the pig, so we were trying to sell the pig before the 1st....

The pig is a female Yorkshire, approx. 9 mos., approx. 170 lbs.
She was bred for eating, but if I had the room, we'd keep her as a pet cuz she is so personable....lol
I owe the school $250 for the pig, feed, etc...
It would be great to break even, but I'm willing to negotiate due to the urgency/short time we have....

Save the pig's sweet, sweet meat from carnivores like me. Anyone interested can contact Kat at hhairball9@yahoo.com.

Say you've been invited to potluck but you can't cook. Or your family's hungry, and you don't have much time or money to burn. There are a myriad of options, of course, most of them involving take-out. But for my hard-earned cash, there's Little Saigon's food-to-go shops -- establishments that exist just for these very reasons.

In particular, there's Huong Huong, a stop-in-and-get-out food-to-go shop with its own parking lot (albeit a tiny one) on Westminster's main drag of Bolsa.

Maybe—or at least help steer OC’s 34-year-old glossy monthly magazine away from what had been a frothy, puff-piece-packed publication that featured interviews and profiles with former owner Ruth Ko’s friends, and B- (sometimes C)-grade celebrities adorning its covers who often had nothing whatsoever to do with Orange County.

So by putting a close-up photo of a sweet, delicious Balboa Bar on the cover of their July “Best of Orange County” issue—the debut of a newly re-launched and revamped Orange Coast—returning editor Martin J. Smith is clearly making a statement: no more cover shots of celebs who’ve never even heard of the magazine.

Still, this transition into what I hope will become a regional magazine that’s rich with literary nonfiction and every bit as good as Texas Monthly or Los Angeles (the latter which also underwent a new-and-improved rejiggering a few years ago, also, like Orange Coast, after it was purchased by Indiana-based Emmis Communications) may be a slow one. There are still some remnants of the old Orange Coast that may or may not stick around—old standbys like party photos of rich folks grinning plasticized grins into the camera at various benefits, which pubs like the Register and the billionaire-loving Riviera already do. (How many Ed Arnold pictures can one person possibly stomach?) And there are still tons of ads for medical groups and jewelry stores, but we won’t begrudge Orange Coast for those—you gotta pay the rent somehow.

This issue also marks the launch of myriad new features, some which hit better than others. Chris Epting’s “OC Answer Man,” where Epting thinks up questions himself and then answers them for your alleged fun and amusement, could be more creative—howzabout an e-mail address to take missives from actual readers? Roy Rivenburg should actually make an effort at being funny with his “News From the Future,” because he doesn’t come close.

A real estate feature, “On the Market,” is just obscene, with photos and capsule descriptions of lavish OC properties, the cheapest one costing a mere $3.9 million. Jason Lee gets kinda-sorta profiled in “Ex-Pat,” a short piece highlighting an OC-er who’s made it big. Lee apparently wouldn’t talk to Orange Coast, though (hell, he wouldn’t talk to the Weekly either when we tried for an interview last year), so all Lee’s quotes are culled from other sources.

The old Orange Coast always left you feeling that it catered to the super-rich, and you won’t shake that feeling when you eyeball the $1,275 shoulder bag featured in the “OC Style” section, or the $895 Stella McCartney floral print blouse that looks like someone vomited up a fruit platter.

Then there’s the meat of the issue: “The Best of Orange County.” It’s not nearly as extensive as the Weekly’s Best Of issue, and not as eye-rollingly awful as the Register’s (will Olive Garden win Best Italian Restaurant again? Of course it will), with just seven or so blurbs for each category, but you know, when you’re reading Orange Coast in the waiting room of your dentist’s office, where the mag always winds up, sometimes you just want the quick rundown. And I’ll leave it to the Weekly’s food guys to argue if the Sapphire Pantry is indeed the county’s best cheese shop, or if 50 Forks is truly OC’s best dining value.

And, as part of its Best Of ish, there are profiles of what Orange Coast calls “Certified OC Originals,” one of whom is Register columnist Frank Mickadeit, who’s photographed with a rather constipated look on his face as he’s actually rolling up his sleeves. Because, y’know, Frank’s badass-tough, and he won’t take shit from anybody, and he gets out into the streets, etc. etc. Still, when I read the quote from former Mickadeit colleague Jean Pasco in the Martin J. Smith-penned piece—the one about Mickadeit “smoking stogies with GOP power couple Mike and Susan Schroeder,” it’s pretty hard not to also read that as, “I’ll never write anything bad about my cigar-sucking GOP power couple friends ever never never.”

Elsewhere: Patrick J. Kiger’s feature on a supposed surge of interest in Richard Nixon was fine, but the gardening feature on Nixon’s old La Casa Pacifica stomping grounds in San Clemente was a little too much Dick for me. Then there’s their restaurant guide: just one noteworthy joint in all of Aliso Viejo? The Weekly’s website lists 17. Just one in Cypress? We’ve got 10. Only 7 in Huntington Beach? We’ve got 45.

But like I said, change can be a slow-churning process . . .

One thing you can say about Orange Coast, OC's thick, glossy-covered regional monthly magazine—they know how to throw some good parties. And the mag's grand re-launching party last night was pretty great—tasty hors d'oerves, free martinis and assorted other booze, lots of Beautiful Newport Beach People, and great views of the county from the penthouse suite of . . . well, I forget the building, but it's right near the Taco Bell skyscraper in Irvine.

(It wasn't even a real penthouse, actually—way too much exposed aluminum foil insulation and concrete flooring, but I'm sure it'll look bitchen for some corporate mucky-muck once construction is completed someday.)

Also: free valet service, provided by Class Act Valet, which, as it said on the invite, is “Orange Coast's Official Valet Service.” (Memo to Ted: When will the Weekly get our own official valet service, dammit?!?) And the Reggie's Frank Mickadeit was there, too, but he doesn't have enough name/face recognition with me yet, which is fine . . .

Then there was the goodie bag, packed with trinkets: An extra-large T-shirt which would turn the wearer into a walking billboard for a Jaguar/Land Rover dealership; high-end hair care product samples; sandal-shaped soaps; a mini-facial kit; a mint tin from Flemings Steakhouse, with wine-bottle-shaped mints; and, of course, a copy of the new Orange Coast.

Which, under returning editor Martin J. Smith, looks to be an improvement over the glitzy glam-rag/B-list celebrity asskiss/Chapman University Prez Jim Doti PR vehicle it was under previous owner Ruth Ko.

(Full disclosure: I wrote several Smith-edited pieces for Orange Coast during his previous tenure back in the late-'90s. Even more full disclosure: I unfortunately contributed to some of that Jim Doti PR in a puff piece I penned about Chapman's law school, but I was much younger then, and I really, really needed the money because I was a big 'ol freelance-writing whore.)

Ko sold Orange Coast last year to Emmis Communications, which also owns such regional mags as Los Angeles (also much-improved under Emmis ownership), and what may be the country's best such pub, Texas Monthly.

So I've got high expectations for it, especially since they slapped a photo of a Balboa Bar on their cover instead of, say, Mike Carona, like they did when that whole "America's Sheriff" dogshit was happening...

Coming tomorrow in this space: Digging deep into the new Orange Coast...

Daffodil J. Altan takes a look at Orange County launderer, Prudential Overall Supply, in "Taken to the Cleaners." Is the Irvine-based industrial-laundry company cheating workers out of a living wage? Three cities say yes.

In "The D Files" Gustavo Arellano takes a look at the declassified FBI files Exonerate Joel Dvorman, Orange County's original conservative scapegoat.

While R. Scott Moxley's "Moxley Confidential" takes a look at Jose Avina, the boy who sodomized four others at just 14 years old.

Plus...

• The Weekly's standing columns, Ask a Mexican!, Hey You! and Savage Love

• Restaurant reviews of Hak Heang in Long Beach and Paul's Coffee Shop in Fountain Valley

• Culture pieces focusing on The J Flynn Gallery's "LOL" exhibit, Theatre Out's 'Small Domestic Acts,' Summer-Music-Festival Hippiewear and video games.

• Film reviews of "WALL-E," "Wanted" and local special screenings

• Music pieces on the George Michael, Plants and Animals, Dave Segal's Sprawl of Sound on Slayer's 'Reign in Blood,' Ariel Pink in the Studio, C.R.A.C. at Abstract Workshop, Rex Reason's Aural Reports on Songwriter David Choi Mixes Rhymes With Mash-ups, Locals Only on Cursed Chimera's 'The Great Caldune' and new CD Reviews

And more!

I don't usually approve of the Cobrasnake/Dim Mak/Steve Aoki thing at all, or at least, definitely not fashion-wise, but the hipster beacons will be hosting a yard sale in conjunction with RVCA over at RVCA's Costa Mesa headquarters. And we love RVCA. So here you go:

Cobrasnake (sometimes along with Cory Kennedy) has been known to host these successful and popular "yard sales," AKA chances to unload pricey T-shirts to unsuspecting fans of his party photography website, in locations all over the world. Tomorrow's yard sale will feature items from Brian Lichtenberg (responsible for many of M.I.A.'s flashy diggs), pro-surfer/artist/Japanese Motors singer Alex Knost, Akram, Velvet Leaf Clothing, Hippo Gorilla Giraffe, Heartschallenger and more.

It's open to all ages, and the flier doesn't specify whether or not they'll be accepting credit cards, so be sure to bring some cash just in case.

The sale promises to have "tons of DJs, surfers, homeless" on hand in addition to hipster T-shirts and clothing and hipsters.

So go check it out if you've got nothing else to do on a beautiful Saturday afternoon—I mean, if you're into that kind of thing.

More info and full flier after the jump.

If you're anything like me, the exciting Hollywood blockbusters being released this summer may as well not bother, because you haven't a spare dime to spend seeing them. As the cost of living continues to rise, finding entertainment that's as cheap as possible becomes increasingly necessary and frankly, it's a lot to ask of the American public to spend what amounts to about three gallons of gas on a movie that may or may not be any good anyway. Thank heavens, then, for the internet, which not only offers a plethora of incredible entertainment but also provides mankind with the thrill of the hunt that we instinctively desire . . . but with Google instead of a bow and arrow.

This weekend, I recommend that everyone stay home and watch Ray Tintori's Death to the Tinman, available for free* right here: Death to the Tinman. Tintori adapts L. Frank Baum's story of the Tin Woodman in his Oz series, but keeps the basic framework of the story the same. Death to the Tinman tells the story of Bill, the "most hated man in a twenty mile radius," and his passionate love for Jane, daughter of the town pastor. The pastor, in an effort to keep Bill away from his daughter, asks God to put a curse on the axe Bill uses to chop wood. Bill loses both of his arms in the succeeding wood chopping accident, his legs in an industrial machine, and the rest of his body in a plane crash. His friend, an engineer, builds him a metal body to contain his heart and eyes, but the rest of Bill's body mysteriously reforms and leaves the morgue. Tin Bill rushes to see Jane, only to find that she has fallen in love with the eyeless, heartless version of himself. Tin Bill decides to win her back at any cost, and mayhem ensues.

Death to the Tinman contains more incredible shots and ideas in its twelve minutes than most feature films. Tintori uses stylistic elements of German Expressionism, silent cinema, late '50s Bergman, Guy Maddin, Terrence Malick, Wes Anderson, surrealist cinema . . . the list goes on. But rather than feeling like a too clever amalgam of everything one would learn in film school, Death to the Tinman adapts these influences to create something completely original and brilliant. Alternately hilarious and heartbreaking (and never less than completely beautiful to look at), the film should hopefully serve as Tintori's license to demand carte blanche on any future project in which he is involved. Prior to Tinman, Tintori made another excellent short called Jettison Your Loved Ones and recently, Tintori has directed some music videos for MGMT ("Time to Pretend" and "Electric Feel") and served as art director on Benh Zeitlin's short film Glory at Sea (trailer of which can be seen here . . . check that trademark Tintori feel!)

It's short, it's free, it's mind blowingly good. How many other things can you say that about nowadays?

SHIMMY & SHAKE BURLESQUE SHOW WITH THE TEQUILA WORMS; CATHOUSE THUMPERS, Saturday 9 p.m.
Nipple tassels and nylons.
Doll Hut
107 S. Adams St.
Anaheim CA 92802
714-533-1286

CANINE RUNWAY, THE SEARCH FOR AMERICA’S MOST PAW-PULAR POOCH, Saturday 5 p.m.
The next step is an eating disorder.
Muttropolis, A Utopia for Pets and Their Parents
865 Newport Center Dr.
Newport Beach CA

SEE ALL THE MONKEYS FOR HALF THE NUTS!, Friday 2 - 4 p.m.
Half price admission to the monkey house. Insert obvious pun here.
Santa Ana Zoo
1801 E. Chestnut Ave.
Santa Ana CA 92701
714-953-8555

MONKEY KING: A JOURNEY TO CHINA, Daily
Take your children to learn about the 16th century Buddhist monk, Xuan Zang, who took a journey along China’s Silk Road.
Bowers Kidseum
1802 N. Main St.
Santa Ana CA 92706
714-567-3679

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, Friday-Saturday 7:30 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m.
A man-eating plant, a deranged dentist and you. Fabulous weekend.
Musical Theatre Village in the Irvine Spectrum
36-A Mauchly
Irvine CA
949-753-1996

Was walking up Main Street in SanTana the other day, and who was driving a massive Cadillac Escalade without a care to gas prices? None other than Mike Harrah, the Weekly's former landlord, one of many sugar papis to councilmember Claudia Alvarez, and the man who wants to build a 37-story building near a residential neighborhood that would be the tallest in Orange County.

Seeing Mike staring glumly into traffic reminded us we hadn't thought about his phallic skyscraper complex for a while. SanTana voters approved One Broadway Plaza in 2005 with the provision that Harrah fill up more than half of the building with tenants before he began construction. He's been saying that he's close to signing up "a major corporation" since 1999, and yet nothing. The area where One Broadway Plaza is supposed to stand is barren save for a chopped-up historic home exposed to the elements. The sluggish economy means few people want to relocate at this point, which would usually signify Harrah could cash in once it gets healthier, but other developments in more-prestigious parts of Orange County mean those companies will go there.

Just give it up, Mike. Become SanTana's most beloved man by turning the One Broadway Plaza property into a park--that'll do more goodwill than Papi Pulido has ever accomplished in his 22 years in SanTana politics. Stick to riding around in a Harley instead of attempting to be a bearded Robert Moses. And, please, please, please, get acts into your Orange County Pavilion that aren't cover bands or conservative shindigs!

Post-Punk Progressive Pop Party, 9:30 p.m.
A 46-year-old dude called DJ Lou Screw holds this bash. What more could you ask for out of a Thursday? Or a name?
Puka Bar
710 W. Willow St.
Long Beach CA 90806

Delirious?, 7:30 p.m.
It's pretty well known that any band with punctuation in their title has members who enjoy wearing eyeliner. This English Christian rock and worship band doesn't. Go figure.
House of Blues
1530 S. Disneyland Dr.
Anaheim CA 92802
714-778-2583

Al Held: The Evolution of Style, until 7 p.m.
From the Abstract Expressionist movement to geometric imagery, Held's pieces bridge contemporary painting with Modernism.
Cal State Long Beach
1250 Bellflower Blvd.
Long Beach CA 90840
562-985-5408

Basement Lounge, 9:30 p.m.
Back in high school lounging in the basement was risky business.
The Basement
149 Linden Ave., Ste. B-100
Long Beach CA 90802
562-901-9090

Cypress College New Play Festival 2008, 8 p.m.
New plays! Woo hoo!
Cypress College
9200 Valley View St.
Cypress CA 90630
714-484-7139

Guess I missed this, so who knows how long it's been up, but if you go to the Daybreak OC biography page right here, you'll notice the curious spelling of co-anchor Pete Weitzner's name at the top of the page.

That's because, as of 3:50 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon, IT'S SPELLED WRONG. It's not W-I-E-T-Z-N-E-R. You'd think the cardboardy Weitzner himself would have noticed such a glaring screwup of his own name on his station's website. But then again, he may be distracted by beauty contest winner/co-anchor Shally Zomorodi's constant on-camera caressing...

It was predictable that the turnout wouldn't be huge for a special recall election at the end of the month but nevertheless, two 20+ year veterans of the Capistrano Unified School District board who have been clinging to their posts were effectively booted out last night after the night's tallies were in.

Nearly 70 percent of the 24,000 votes cast favored recalling longtime trustees Sheila Benecke and Marlene Draper. Parents and residents have been trying to recall Benecke, Draper and two other trustees since 2005 (See my story about the district's dirty business here) and had partial success when three new board members were elected in 2006. But with a board minority still repeatedly out-voted by the old majority, the parent group, known as the CUSD Recall committee, went out last fall and gathered 60,000 signatures to recall Draper and Benecke this year on charges of corruption, disastrous fiscal management and repeated Brown Act violations.

There's a decent chance Alex Phu won't ask a girl in public if she wants his dick. It's not that Phu is a gentleman. Nope, the last time he asked that question, he didn't like the answer, and then things got cowardly.

Alone, a coward keeps his mouth shut. But when part of a group he’ll exhibit misplaced bravery. This was true for Phu. On the weekdays, he appeared well-educated, soft-spoken and courteous as an Orange County escrow officer. At night with fellow members of his Vietnamese criminal gang, Viet Boys, Phu ghettoized. With all the conviction his skinny 135-pound frame could muster, he talked, walked and dressed like a street-rugged hoodlum.

Back in reality—in Little Saigon on Feb. 16, 2006, to be precise—a two-SUV caravan carried the then-22-year-old to a fast-food-restaurant parking lot. Phu saw a 20-year-old Vietnamese-American woman he'd partied with years earlier during high school.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked, before insulting her and saying, “You just want my dick.”

Phu—who'd adopted the gang moniker “Tiny Boxer”—must have felt extra-manly, barking such words to a chick in front of his pals. He smiled and strutted. His buddies beamed.

But none of them expected the woman’s retort: She told him she wasn't interested in his “small penis.” The smile evaporated from Phu's face. “You'd better shut up,” he said, cursing at the woman and hearing her fire back in kind.

A crowd of teenagers gathered. He'd been humiliated. In front of his home boys. About his dick.

Phu approached the woman and said, “I'm not going to hit you.” She relaxed slightly and Phu quickly cocked his arm and slammed his fist into her face. A witness heard the crushing impact that dropped the woman to the asphalt.

When she managed to get up, blood pouring from her nose, she called Phu an “S.O.B.” and a “woman-beater.” Another member of Viet Boys yanked her legs from under her and punched her viciously six or seven more times in the face as she lay on the ground. Then Phu pretended her head was a football and he was a kicker. His shoe slammed into her skull near her ear.

The Viet Boys, who favor Dallas Cowboy jerseys with the number 22 because “V” is the 22nd letter of the alphabet, may have continued to demonstrate their manhood indefinitely if it hadn't been for two (never identified) young Latinos who saw the fight from inside the restaurant and came to the victim's rescue. The gangsters cursed the men, jumped in their vehicles and proudly shouted, “V Boys!” as they fled. Police eventually captured Phu, who denied active gang affiliation and offered this lame excuse: The woman started the fight.

After the Orange County District Attorney's office prosecuted the case, a jury didn’t buy the defense strategy. Neither did a court of appeal in Santa Ana. It recently rejected his hopes of overturning the conviction.

For 15 minutes of testosterone-loaded stupidity, Phu won 365 days in jail and three years' worth of formal probation.

(Wednesdays at OCWeekly.com discover the depths of human depravity in Orange County, California.)

Click HERE for previous Citizen of the Week winners.

-- R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Late yesterday the AP confirmed news that Nick Schou broke last week right here on our blog: the paper has taken the layoff model to another level and will now outsource some of its editing and layout duties to a "global media" company near New Delhi.

With the last round of layoffs knocking 90 people out of their jobs, this information isn't so much surprising as it is kind of weird and a little shocking. When you compare the move to much of corporate America, then the paper is following suit -- outsource to India because people will work long hours and you'll save yourself the costs of actually paying your employees a decent wage and health benefits.

The paper, says deputy editor John Fabris, is in a "test" phase and will limit its outsourcing to the layout of one of its community papers (not specified by Fabris, but a source told Nick it would be the San Clemente Sun-Post) and the copy editing of some of the stories in the actual paper. Fabris says jobs won't be affected. But come on, three rounds of layoffs and then the news that you'll be outsourcing some of your editorial work to a company called "Mindworks Global Media" in a cheaper faraway country that could care less about what's what in Orange County? We don't want to be doom and gloom here, but...

On Sept. 16, Scribner will release Orange County: A Personal History, my history of our Promised Land coupled with the truth behind the Mexican invasion as experienced through my family. Funny thing is, I'm not even officially finished with the book yet the first review is already in—and it's glowing! The review after the jump comes from the July 1 issue of Kirkus Reviews, one of the two main book review journals in the United States (Publishers Weekly being the other):

JOHN SOLONE’S TRIBUTE TO SINATRA, 6:30 p.m.
Luck be a lady.
Piccolino Ristorante Pizzeria
28731 Los Alisos Blvd., Ste. 3
Mission Viejo CA 92692
(949) 380-7261

SCREENING: ANNIE HALL, 8 p.m.
The odd couple: Diane Keaton and Woody Allen
Bay Theater - Seal Beach
340 Main Street
(340 Main Street)
Seal Beach CA 90740
562-431-9988

SATISFACTION, 10 p.m.
I can't get no
LA CAVE
1695 Irvine Ave.
Costa Mesa CA 92627
949-646-7944

KARAOKE AT THE PROSPECTOR, 8 p.m.
Mining for hits
The Prospector
2400 E. Seventh St.
Long Beach CA 90804
562-438-3839

TIPS ON LIVING, 7 p.m.
Tip 1: Don't die
The Neighborhood Cup
1 Journey
Aliso Viejo CA 92656
949-716-5100

As soon as news of Henry Samueli's guilty plea in his stock-option manipulation case broke yesterday, you might have noticed a brief, faint clickety-clacking sound rising over Orange County. The more engineers you work with, the more intense the flurry was.

It was the sound of two words being deleted from the line that read "The Henry Samueli School of Engineering, University of California, Irvine" on math-whiz resumes countywide.

Weekly food critic Edwin Goei has been getting easy laughs with this one since the philanthropist/billionaire/now-suspended Ducks owner's disgrace was announced.

"I'm two for two," Edwin says. "My bachelor's degree in engineering is from the Henry Samueli School of Engineering—now named after a felon. My MBA is from UCI's Paul Merage School of Business—named after the guy who invented the Hot Pocket."

Still waiting for our over-educated friend to tell us which of those two sad facts is the source of greater shame for him.

(Photo: Karen Tapia-Andersen, Los Angeles Times)

Politics and pantsuits aside—the Obamas are even making their mark in the world of fashion.

It's Milan Fashion Week and Donatella Versace has decided to dedicate her Spring/Summer 2009 collection to the U.S. Democratic nominee, citing that Obama was the "man of the moment."

Versace, who took over the fashion house in 1998 after the murder of brother Gianni, went on to explain that the pieces were meant for a "relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power."

The collection, which was showcased on the runway to a soundtrack provided by the Ting Tings, truthfully doesn't look too much like something Obama himself would wear—man sandals, suits with shorts and pink neck scarves, anyone?—though there is an undeniable confidence that's required when wearing half-unbuttoned shiny silk shirts and pastel yellow-colored Members Only-inspired jackets.

Michelle Obama, in the meantime, has been making her own waves when it comes to style: After making an appearance as a co-host on The View last week, the $148 black and white leaf print dress she was wearing from White House/Black Market sold out almost instantly and is now on backorder until mid-August. The purple shift dress/black waist belt/white pearl necklace ensemble she wore when Obama clinched the Democratic nomination also seems to be a favorite—perhaps we have another Jacqueline Kennedy on the horizon.

As a final note, however, Donatella Versace did offer a piece of advice for Barack Obama: "I would get rid of the tie and jazz up the shirt."

See Versace's entire men's Spring/Summer collection here.

We're no fans of the Minuteman Project, whether the one created by retired Aliso Viejo CPA Jim Gilchrist or the ones that splintered off his organization in a litany of lawsuits and allegations. However, I do value free speech and thus find myself on the side of the San Diego Minutemen, one of the nuttier Minutemen factions out there. For the past year, they've waged a bitter battle against Caltrans over the right to participate in California's Adopt-a-Highway campaign and maintain the stretch of Interstate 5 nearest the San Clemente migra checkpoint and have their group's name on a freeway sign. Caltrans originally gave the San Diego Minutemen the spot, then tried to isolate them in some backwater stretch of San Diego County after receiving complaints from various Aztlanistas. Meanwhile, Caltrans strangely allowed Jim Gilchrist's Minutemen and the Campo Minutemen (note to Minutemen: you folks bitch more amongst yourself than the average MEChA chapter) to erect Adopt-a-Highway signs. The San Diego Minutemen sued for violation of free speech, a tactic even the ACLU supports.

The fight now gets wackier. Yesterday, Caltrans announced it's suspending all Adopt-a-Highway applications while it reviews its policies. Needless to say, the San Diego Minutemen are livid, as we all should be. Today's Know Nothings are whiny, delusional, ahistorical tontos, but they have every right to be so—and if the Klan can participate in an Adopt-a-Highway program, why can't the Minutemen? Besides, wallowing in detritus is an apt metaphor for an average Minuteman Project reunion—but enough insults. A pledge to the San Diego Minutemen after the jump!

PATRICK HENRY DEMOCRATIC CLUB, 6:30 p.m.
Nothing goes together like pie and politics.
Marie Callender's
1821 N. Grand Ave.
Santa Ana CA 92705

KARAOKE, 9 p.m.
A bunch o' drunks singing oldies. Could you ask for anything more?
McClure's Bar & Grill
14401 Newport Ave.
Tustin CA 92780
714-544-1995

THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST COMIC CONTEST, 8 p.m.
a good knock knock joke is guaranteed to win over the judges
Irvine Improv
71 Fortune Dr.
Irvine CA 92618
949-854-5455

THE BOXING LESSON, 10 p.m.
Don't get too excited. It's a band.
The Prospector
2400 E. Seventh St.
Long Beach CA 90804
562-438-3839

*Note: This was once a much-longer post but was lost because my PC is goofy...here's what I remember:

My prediction: few groups will unleash the anti-gay hounds more viciously in the battle over same-sex marriage in California than the Calvary Chapel fellowship. Founder Chuck Smith is already out there in his loud Hawaiian shirts; now, it's David Rosales' turn.

Rosales (pictured) is the head pastor of Calvary Chapel Chino Valley, a congregation in Hell with more than 8,000 members. Yesterday, he wrote a letter to the Orange County Register (not available online, unfortunately) that was astonishing in its stupidity--and, considering I once wrote that Calvary Chapel members make the Scopes Monkey trial seem erudite by comparison, that's quite an accomplishment.

He starts off by saying "as a Mexican-American, I take great insult" in folks equating gay marriage to the civil rights movement, but then can't determine exactly what he is--Rosales says he was born "ethnically Mexican," that "no matter how much I want to, tomorrow I can't wake up Swedish," and that "I can't determine that I am any other race other than the one I have been born into." Sociology alert! Rosales can't seem to distinguish between ancestral group (Mexican-American), ethnic group (no such thing as an overarching Mexican ethnicity, amigo), national identity (here's a Mexican Swede for you, Pastor Pendejo) and race (besides the fact it doesn't exist, Mexican is definitely not a "race," no matter how much Aztlanistas may try).

But that's not even the most offensive things Rosales states.

ROCKSTAR KARAOKE, 8 p.m.
Slidebar Cafe
122 E. Commonwealth Ave.
Fullerton CA 92832
714-871-7469

OSLO, 9 p.m.
Detroit Bar
843 W. 19th St.
Costa Mesa CA 92627
949-642-0600

KARAOKE MADNESS, 9 p.m.
Hogue Barmichael's
3950 Campus Dr.
Newport Beach CA 92660
949-261-6270

INGRID MICHAELSON; GREG LASWELL, 8 p.m.
House of Blues
1530 S. Disneyland Dr.
Anaheim CA 92802
714-778-2583

FRONTSIDE 5; NEUTRALBOY, 9 p.m.
Doll Hut
107 S. Adams St.
Anaheim CA 92802
714-533-1286

Your favorite rag did pretty damn good last night at the Los Angeles Press Club Awards considering we're not even from Los Angeles. Daffodil Altan won first place for Sports profile in a paper with a circulation under 100,000 for her profile of SanTana boxer Ronny Rios, while former staffer Luke Y. Thompson was a winner in the Entertainment criticism category under 100,000 for his review of Transformers. Even more impressively, however, this very Navel Gazing won for best group blog in Southern California media, beating out Reason magazine and the Los Angeles Times. Lil' ol' us!

Those of us in attendance thought we lost for sure after presenter (and KTLA-TV Channel 5 entertainment reporter) Sam Rubin said the winning blog was "hugely popular"--we know ustedes readers love us, but not that much! Judges said of Navel Gazing, "This blog covered a nice range of subjects, with sharp writing, It was analytical and interesting." Special congrats to former Weekly web editrix Janine Kahn, now spreading her magic at our sister paper, SF Weekly. And, of course, this blog would be nothing without our faithful commentators--y'all know who you are. Gracias on behalf of all of us at Navel Gazing--until then, keep leaving wacky comments!

Unless you follow foodie bulletin boards and blogs, chances are you haven't heard of or had a Beard Papa's cream puff. That goes double if you don't normally venture out of Orange County, where there are only two outlets of this Osaka-based chain.

There's one at Santa Ana's MainPlace Mall, and another at the Japanese market in Costa Mesa that isn't Mitsuwa: Marukai. Both opened a year ago to little fanfare and zero hype.

From the first few weeks in business to now, visit either location and you'll see no queue, no crowds, nothing like the craze the owners must have observed at other Beard Papa's stores in Japan, Singapore, and Taiwan (even L.A.).

I have a few theories to why it hasn't caught on here in O.C. Aside from the not-so-convenient locations, there's the fact that cream puffs don't play kindly into low-carb diets -- it's far too similar to a Twinkie.

But I believe something else is to blame: the car.

Interpreting Register publisher Terry Horne’s Page 2 Tuesday letter to Reg readers, the same day the paper introduced a new slimmed-down format—all pages reduced by a one-inch width to save on the cost of newsprint. (You can just call it shrinkage.) Warning: Horne uses the word “exciting” twice in his letter—in our book, a coded phrase that means more layoffs and buyouts are a-comin’ . . .

A MESSAGE FROM THE REGISTER’S PUBLISHER

"The Register is making a notable change starting Tuesday morning, followed by exciting updates to many of our 24 community newspapers this week.

The Register is narrowing the width of the newspaper page by one inch. [Narrowing even further will be the worldview of editorial scribbler Steven Greenhut.] This is a decision driven purely by economics. [We’re cheap fuckers.] Recent price increases in newsprint would impact our business by more than $6 million if we continued to print at the same size and quantities we did last year. [Think how much more we could’ve saved if we had never launched those catastrophic Squeeze OC and OC Post failures.]

You may not even notice a difference. [Gordon Dillow’s incredibly huge forehead? Still the same size.] It’s important to note we are not eliminating any of your favorite columns or features by moving to a slightly smaller frame. Type size in the paper remains the same and so does the height of the pages. [Readers will still have plenty of room in our letters column to rant about Obama being a wild-eyed, bloodthirsty Muslim.] (You might notice slight narrowing of text in comics, some Marketplace graphics and some tabular sports results – and temporary narrowing of type on the Weather page and daily TV grids.) [Because we know what really matters to you, loyal TV-loving 800-pound Register subscriber who hasn’t been able to leave her house since the first Clinton administration.]

The Register’s award-winning news coverage, photography, graphics and advertisements [We won a Pulitzer back in . . . umm, been so long I don’t remember.] have the same presentation and color you’ve come to expect each day.

Virtually every daily metropolitan newspaper in the United States has moved or soon will move to this new size. Some are going even smaller. [Eventually our entire daily issue will be printed on a handy card you can slip into your wallet.]

Many readers in other markets prefer the narrower format, as it is easier to handle [Because that extra inch had thousands of people constantly bumbling and dropping the paper--least that's what Marketing tells me, so it must be true.] in a coffee shop, airplane or other close quarters [such as Dillow’s vice-tight anus].

We are living in a time of rapid change, so we must consider new ways to publish our newspapers. It’s exciting to see how our journalists and sales force have sharpened their focus on what we do best — delivering relevant local news and information. [Like our scintillating My Incredibly Cute Baby and That Darn Cat! contests.] Hopefully you will notice the steps we’ve taken in that regard.

One way we’ve done this is by expanding our community coverage on ocregister.com. We now update our city-by-city news more frequently on the Web, and you can see the fruits of this work by pulling up your city in a drop-down menu within a blue Local News banner on the ocregister.com home page. [We’ll get around to doing it eventually, because even we can’t figure out our garish, confusing site.]

Another big part of our plans to publish more hyper-local content occurs this week, when we introduce a new look and feel in our community newspapers. [New color covers, same old dogshit.] Articles in each community newspaper will adopt a quick-read format with more photos, graphics and color. [We’ve dumbed them down more in the hopes that even inanimate objects will want to subscribe.]

We launched this new format in Irvine and San Clemente earlier this year, and readers have told us they like it. [If Martin Wisckol did the polling, this means we asked 11, maybe 12 readers.] We also researched this format extensively prior to our launch of [I’ll say it just once more, but I’ll wince] OC Post a few years ago, a product driven by readers’ calling for a quick-read paper that fits their busy lifestyles. [Apparently they didn’t call loudly or often enough.]

Our community newspapers will be more accessible as well. In addition to our distribution inside the Register to subscribers [If you can find it, since we’ll fold it up inside the classifieds and the real estate ads] we are adding nearly 700 news racks across the county to expand free distribution to nonsubscribers. [Gotta fill those OC Post and Squeeze OC racks with something] Four community newspapers are adding a second distribution day — the Saddleback Valley News, Anaheim Hills News, Yorba Linda Star and Placentia News Times. [Gotta keep those college kids we hire at $22,000 a year busy.] We’re also adding distribution in more than 200 retail locations in those four geographic areas. [So go fuck yourself, Stanton!]

As always, we appreciate your feedback on these endeavors and how we’re doing. Thank you for your support." [Okay, done—where’s my bonus?]

Terry Horne
President and publisher
Orange County Register Communications

We met San Juan Capistrano councilmember Lon Uso a couple of months ago at the Friday morning coffee klatches organized by Capistrano Dispatch editor Jonathan Volzke and thought him a swell guy for daring to speak good about Mexicans in a room full of elderly, crotchety gabachos who didn't believe Mexicans assimilate. But as my mentors at the Weekly always teach me, never like a politician too much, 'cause they'll always do something to prove themselves a fool.

That's exactly what Uso did today in the Dispatch, a community weekly that does a fine job of covering San Juan Capistrano. Volzke wrote a story about the continuing controversy involving Ignacio Lujano, the 85-year-old orange farmer that San Juan officials are trying to boot out of a city-owned grove that he's tended to for nearly 40 years. Uso--a former columnist for the Dispatch--has an op-ed piece (not yet available online) and, like the rest of his Capistrano government colleagues, is desperately trying to spin his way out of a PR fiasco.

In this week's issue:

Daffodil J. Altan follows Alfonso Guerrero and Manuel Chavez on their wedding day in "Eat Drink and Be Gay Married: After 27 years together, one couple finally has its big, fat, Mexican, recovering-drug-addict, HIV-positive, ex-transgender gay wedding"

Rich Kane offers some from the scene perspective on the gay weddings in "We’re Here, We’re Queer, We’re Registered at Crate & Barrel: Notes from a gayer-than-usual Tuesday at the old courthouse in Santa Ana"

R. Scott Moxley introduces us to Orange County's new top cop in "Meet the New Sheriff: Taking a wait-and-see stance toward OC’s new top cop"

Nick Schou investigates yet another jail house beating, this time of former KISS guitarist Mark St. John in "Smashes, Thrashes & Hits: Sheriff’s department probing alleged jail beating of former KISS guitarist"

Plus...

• The Weekly's standing columns, Ask a Mexican!, Hey You! and Savage Love

• Restaurant reviews of A Restaurant and Pho Cali

• Culture pieces focusing on Hibbleton Gallery, Maverick Theater's Forbidden Planet, Tucked Shirts and video games.

• Big blockbusters and local special screenings

• Music pieces on the Vans Warped Tour, Powerhouse with Ice Cube, Dave Segal's Sprawl of Sound, Rex Reason's Aural Reports, Locals Only and new CD Reviews

And more!

Now that Obama has sewn up the Democratic nomination for Presidential candidate, he will begin to face the problem that all principled politicians have faced at one point or another. Stick to the idealistic viewpoints and policies in which they truly believe, though they may alienate a large portion of the electorate, or slide closer to the middle of the political spectrum for maximum voter appeal, but in the process abandon some of their cherished beliefs. Considering the fact that he's a Democrat, it's hard not to assume that he will begin to undercut all of his progressive views tout suite in an effort to prove that he's not a socialist bomb-throwing terrorist, as so many of his predecessors have done, generally to their disservice. Let's just hope that this time around, the Democratic party understands the purpose of presenting a truly alternative platform rather than just adopting their opponents' and adding in a few kind words about the environment. But it truly is a difficult dilemma. One of the drawbacks of the democratic process is that it frequently requires politicians to compromise and pander in an effort to earn the votes of frequently poorly informed or (let's not split hairs) willfully ignorant voters. After all, what good is having vision if you can't be elected to a position in which you can enact it. Whoever wrote "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" obviously never got to have his feet massaged in Air Force One.

Michael Ritchie's 1972 film The Candidate presents the story of attractive, young, politically progressive California politician Bill McKay. The son of a former governor, McKay is drafted into running for the office of senator against a popular Republican incumbent. Initially, no one believes McKay has a chance, including his own campaign staff, so he feels free to speak his mind, believing that no matter what he says, he will be unable to win. Deciding instead to merely stand up for his principles and forget about electability, McKay travels the state presenting his populist message to the voters. However, much to everyone's surprise, McKay begins to develop a following and as the gap between incumbent and challenger grows increasingly narrower, McKay begins to feel the pressure to compromise in order to win. Will Obama . . . er, McKay give in, make concessions to politics and become everything he always disliked?

Featuring tremendous performances by Robert Redford as McKay and Peter Boyle as the head of his campaign, The Candidate won Best Screenplay at the Academy Awards. With its proto-Aaron Sorkin plot line and its Altman-esque vibe, The Candidate is recommended viewing for anyone who wishes to understand more fully the realities of pragmatic politics.