We're Getting Gay Married!

It was about 10:45 this morning when I flipped on KFWB after getting out of my Santa Ana Saturn dealership—the TV wasn't on in their waiting room, but it would've been interesting to see the reaction of the elderly woman with the scrunched-up face engrossed in her Orange County Register when she heard the news that the California Supreme Court decided 4-3 to overturn the state ban on gay marriage, which had been in place since moronic voters approved Proposition 22 in 2000.

Naturally, the first voice I heard on the radio was the simpering, mincing, ironically feminine chirp of Louis Sheldon, founder of the Anaheim-based Traditional Values Coalition (which constantly equates homosexuality with pedophilia, bestiality and John Wayne. Well, maybe not John Wayne, but the Village People had to come up with their cowboy archetype somewhere). His input in this was expected—Sheldon's an anti-gay zealot who, weirdly enough, can't stop talking about anal sex, among other strange topics. (Check out this R. Scott Moxley story from 2000, and while you're at it, type in "Lou Sheldon" into the Weekly's search engine for extra Sheldon shits 'n' giggles.)

I let out a reflexive "woo-hoo!", because anything that can get Sheldon's tampon in a twist is fine with me. And now—officially—us gays can now be legally just as miserable as breeders. Yay.

So how are the crazies taking the ruling? We direct you to the Register's reader comments, which are bulging by the minute...these are as of 12:50 p.m., with plenty more certain to follow. Some excerpts...

My dog has always been there for me, she loves me unconditionally. She is the only one who really understands me and she never complains. I think we are just one step closer to inter-species marriage. I can't wait.

First the voters were robbed by the courts of Prop.187 back in the 1990's, and now the Ca. voters are robbed of Prop. 22 by the Ca. State Supreme Court. What's the point of voting?

Once again the will of the people- remember that MAJORITY rules thing? - is overturned by a few. This is why people don't get out and vote. All it takes is for a handfull of judges to out-rule that majority rule thing - once again remember that?

This ruling is yet another demonstration of the judicial branch usurping power. The people of California made it overwhelmingly clear that they did not want gay marriage. A few officials decided that they know better.

I find it troubling that the homosexual/lesbian community cannot find a word for their type of bond. "Marriage" already has its meaning and I stand by it. Gay used to mean happy, it no longer does. It is now a cover word for an alternate lifestyle.

Ok so if gays are allowed to marry each other, then I think brothers and sisters should be allowed to marry as well. This is sickening, what is this world coming to...

It's just another way that our goverment is usurping the will of the people. This was voted on years ago with prop 22 and the overwhelming majority of California votes agreed to define marriage as "...a civil contract between a man and a woman."

How can you not care about gay marriages? This should be banned from this whole world. Have you not read the Bible gay people? You must be in total darkness about this subject! Save yourself and start reading your Bible or go to church!

My dog has always been there for me, she loves me unconditionally. She is the only one who really understands me and she never complains. I think we are just one step closer to inter-species marriage. I can't wait.

SICK.

The beginning of the end of the family.