Because You're Ugly: GIANT Earbud Speakers!
Now, I'm not one that typically falls for the latest gadgets—MacBook Air? Cool, but I'd probably break it. And I'm probably going to need a CD-ROM drive. iPhone? I'd probably break that, too... not to mention I'd rather stick with my much cheaper T-Mobile plan.
I am, however, a sucker for cute things. Cute things like these ridiculous GIANT EARBUD SPEAKERS from FredFlare.com, home of ridiculously cute things. I'm sure they don't sound as good as your schmancy $800 Bose sound system, but they're definitely a whole lot more adorable. Just imagine pulling these things out at the office and hooking it up to your ol' compy to listen to the latest edition of This American Life. Ira Glass never sounded so good.
500XL GIANT earbud speakers available at FredFlare.com, $60.