Hispanic Bar Association Hijinks!

With apologies to Orange County Register sports genius Randy Youngman, notes, quotes and observations from yesterday's Orange County Hispanic Bar Association annual fundraising dinner:

*Greeting the well-dressed, well-coiffed crowd as they drove toward the Westin South Coast Plaza hotel were about eight anti-Mexican whackjobs--and we don't add the "anti-illegal immigrant" qualifier like other journalists because they told more than one cute attorney of Mexican descent to "go home." Spotted was Lupe "Mexicans are Nazis; Americans are Jews" Moreno, the wab with the "Viva Minutemen" sign and other Know Nothings, whose sartorial sense showed that you don't have to be an illegal immigrant to dress swap meet-chic.

*Spotted: State senator Lou Correa, assemblyman Jose Solorio, and SanTana councilmembers Claudia Alvarez, Michelle Martinez, Vince Sarmiento, and David Benavides (Sal Tinajero was announced but I didn't see him). When Martinez and Alvarez sat at the same table, it sparked the coldest chill since the Ice Age.

*Winning bid for a dinner with yours truly and an autographed copy of my pinche book: $50. Damn cheap Mexicans...

*Course: so-so ceviche salad, delicious prawns paired with a too-tender tenderloined rubbed in a tasty adobo, and a soft, yummy chocolate ganache cake. Everyone could've been better served down the street at Bentoss.

*KCBS-TV Channel 2 reporter Dave Lopez served as emcee, and the legend was ornery. Twice, he browbeat people into shushing, at one point uttering "Gimme a break!" Love your stuff, Dave, but never imagined you to be such a diva.

*Somehow, I ended up with the business card of Los Angeles Times legal reporter Henry Weinstein. Bizarre...

*Your taxpayer dollars at work: all 560 attendees received two small chocolate bars (more like bites) wrapped in foil labeled with "University of California, Irvine." The chocolate was gross.

*In fairness to UCI, its new law professor Erwin Chemerinsky was the keynote speaker. Didn't stick around to hear his spiel, but betcha Mickadeit'll be all over it tomorrow.

*Special thanks to the folks at Rutan and Tucker for letting me sit at their table. When I asked about the whereabouts of their pendejo co-worker, Patrick Muñoz, they nervously laughed and move the conversation to polite topics.