Because You're Ugly: Urban Outfitters

Y'know, I'm not one to advocate shopping at Urban Outfitters in the first place. It always seems to be the second to last stop for trends on their way out of style (the last being your local mall), it's overpriced and worst of all, you run a high risk of seeing a dozen other people wearing the same outfit as you.

Of course, they do carry some things I like. For instance, this, this and this.

But this shirt. This shirt pictured to your left? I don't really have much to say about it, other than if I ever see anybody wearing it in real life, I'd slap them in their big dumb faces. Just sayin'. The Truly Madly Deeply Collegiate Crew promises to be a "vintage-washed soft and shrunken crewneck sweatshirt with old-school faded graphics at the front" and it'll only cost you $38 to look like you're trying way too hard. Grey not your color? Don't worry: It also comes in black. But that one reads "Motor City Wildcats." Sorry.