I'm confused. Supporters of SanTana's Measure D--which seeks to extend term limits for councilmembers from two four year-terms to three--say the initiative is necessary to curb the power of special interests and developers, a lie we already exposed. But today comes word that SanTana voters are being flooded with a robocall by a Santa Ana school teacher (can't make out the name, but it sounds like Marie) claiming that Measure D "is critically important to ensure ethical and accountable leadership in City Hall." Then the ringer:

Measure D, for Democracy

HA! HA! HA!

Listen to the hilarious robocall:

Yes, I know that's a long-overused joke. But it fits here -- there's a presidential primary coming up, and nowhere in any media outlets have I seen any discussion of the Green Party's presidential candidates.

I understand why: in 2004, Peter Camejo won most of the primaries but the Party gave the nomination to David Cobb anyway, and Camejo bolted to run with Ralph Nader independently. Still, as I am a registered Green, I'd like to know which primary candidate I should support.

So I looked into who's actually running. . .

First, Ralph Nader. Well, his name's on the ballot, but he hasn't officially decided to run yet, and he even kinda-sorta endorsed John Edwards a while back. But now Edwards is gone, so Ralph may run again, despite the fact that almost nobody wants him to.

We like Arizona Senator and Republican presidential candidate John McCain much more than his automaton flip-flopper (and Hugh Hewitt favorite) main opponent, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. But we've never been able to understand why Little Saigon's power brokers never asked McCain to apologize back in 2000, when he appeared before thousands in Westminster's Asian Garden Mall a couple of weeks after referring to Vietnamese as "gooks." McCain offered spin prior to appearing, explaining he only used the slur in reference to his former Communist captors during the Vietnam War, and Vietnamese politicians accepted his worm-out. That didn't placate young Vietnamese-American activists, who protested McCain's appearance and...well, you'll have to read our R. Scott Moxley's disheartening take on it.

Now word comes that State Assemblymember Van Tran and his elected cronies are supporting McCain's campaign. "I am very proud to support John McCain, a man who has done so much for America and for Asian-Americans across our nation," Tran said in the press release. "He clearly is the best candidate to represent all Americans in the White House." The Trannies can support whomever they want, of course, but can you imagine the howls of laughter if Latino politicians endorsed a candidate that used to call Mexicans wabs and beaners, then recanted only upon pressure coming from other people and then claiming they only used the word to describe cholos?

We got a telephone call today from a woman telling us that slender, silver-colored jet aircraft were flying back and forth in the heavens, leaving white smoke trails in their wake. These trails, she added, were drifting apart in the sky, turning it from clear blue to overcast over the course of the day.

"I know you're going to think this is nuts," she said.

Nuts? Why would we think that?

A quick check of the view from our offices on the fifth floor of OC Weekly's world headquarters revealed at least two similar trails, both of which were very wide and cloudlike. You could even say that the portion of the sky where those trails are is overcast. Clearly, these aircraft, posing as innocuous commercial airplanes, are actually weather control devices.

That's right folks, the government is controlling our weather with chem trails!

Don't take our word for it. Check out this video on Youtube of chem trails right here in Orange County. And ignore the idiotic comments by the guy who remarks that chem trails are simply exhaust being emitted by airplanes at high altitude, where the air is cold. Those are contrails, not chemtrails, moron!

POORMAN SUES KDOC: LA Times - Dana Parsons covers the Poorman with typical dollops of smarminess. No genital warts mentioned whatsoever. I'd wax moronic but Luke Y. Thompson already covered this like a month ago (Exit Poorman, Feb. 3). So will he be a Richman? Do fiddlers play on roofs?

DEBBIE #1 GETS A BREAK: OC Register - Deborah Carona, wife of former Sheriff Mike Carona, will not be charged with inappropriate behavior while a member of the Orange County Fair Board, although the prosecution "continues to allege that she participated in schemes to profit from her husband's office." Regardless of what she's charged with, we all know the poor thing is only guilty of marrying a man so tasteless as to choose a mistress with the same name, albeit abbreviated, as his wife, and to allow them both to become involved in his Machiavelli-meets-Rain-Man schemes.

TCA CAN'T BREAK THE LAW (ANY MORE): LA Times - David Reyes maintains the Times' position as 2nd-best source of Foothill-South coverage (next to the Weekly, of course) with this informative piece on the passage of the National Defense Authorization Act 2008, and with it the Davis Amendment which repeals previous exemptions which allowed the Foothill-South to evade California law.

(ANOTHER) OC SOLDIER KILLED IN IRAQ: OC Register - Army Pfc. Brandon Abbott Meyer was killed Monday while on patrol in Mosul. According to the Department of Defense he was from Orange. Meyer and four other soldiers killed fought with 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment Team, 4th Infantry Division from Fort Carson, Colorado. Meyer joined the Army in January 2007 and would have turned 21 on Saturday. Not old enough to drink in his country, but old enough to die for it.

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, 7 p.m.
Because the clitoris is WAY cooler than the penis.
McKinney Theatre, 28000 Marguerite Pkwy., Mission Viejo

THE MAGIC FLUTE, 7:30 p.m.
A visual masterpiece of color and classical music. Read our Leslie Agan's live review.
Renee and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 615 Town Center Drive Costa Mesa

THIRSTY THURSDAYS, 10 p.m.
Feeling dehydrated? Grab a beer.
HB Beer Co. 201 Main St. Huntington Beach

JAZZ AT THE LINCOLN CENTER, 8 p.m.
The best in Jazz comes together for a high spirited night.
Renee and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 615 Town Center Dr. Costa Mesa

GIRLS NIGHT OUT, 9 p.m.
Yep, they just wanna have fun.
Chronic Cantina, 1870 Harbor Blvd. Costa Mesa

Dane Chandler Williams, also known as "Downtown Dane" for his ubiquitous presence in downtown Huntington Beach, was found dead in San Diego. He was in town on a company trip, having worked as an intern for Hurley since October. His body was found wrapped in a blanket in an alley in Chollas Creek.

Williams was last seen at Sixth and K streets leaving the Hard Rock Cafe around 2 a.m. Saturday, according to San Diego police Sgt. Garry Collins. If anyone has any information about his final hours please contact the San Diego Police at (619) 531-2000.

MySpace and Facebook pages have been set up in Dane's honor. A MySpace for a DaneWilliams, 23, in Huntington Beach, describes him as being "at work" and lists his mood as "stoked." May he forever be so.

The Transportation Corridor Agencies has filed a complaint against Vermont-based Smart Mobility alleging that "the company's engineers are unlicensed in California," and are breaking the law by "practicing civil and traffic engineering without legal authorization." Opponents of the TCA's plans to build the Foothill-South (241) toll road extension through inland San Onofre State Beach have used Smart Mobility's reports in the past to refute TCA claims that widening I-5, an oft-cited potential alternative to the toll road, would require the condemnation of hundreds of homes and businesses.

This complaint is not in any court of law, mind you. The TCA registered it with the (drumroll, please...) Board for Professional Engineers and Land Surveyors. Ta-dow. The complaint alleges that Smart Mobility is in violation of The Professional Engineers Act.

"The Professional Engineers Act, which regulates the profession. states that an out-of-state business may only practice engineering in California "if it has a branch office in California, has a part owner or officer in charge of the engineering work in California, who is registered in California and is physically present in California." (Business and Professions Code section 6738(a)(3))"

"There's no engineering behind this study," said Seaton, the toll road spokeswoman. "We're still confident our numbers are accurate."

No engineering, no violation, right?

While I wait for a response from Smart Mobility, a quick perusal of their website suggests that they do not in fact engineer as much as provide advice about engineering. Also, if they sit in Vermont and study a road in California, is that actually conducting engineering within the state? Any engineers or planners are welcome to comment.

I remember SanTana councilmember Claudia Alvarez. I remember back in early 2000, when a friend of mine asked if I could help stuff envelopes for a campaign he was working on for a deputy district attorney. I remember meeting her--young, energetic, sincere--and thinking I wanted more politicians like her in office.

I remember Claudia Alvarez. I remember stuffing envelopes in the garage of her mother's realty firm, bundling up next to the heater as my friends and I worked for free. I remember looking in the trash can and discovering some crazy rag called OC Weekly.

I remember Claudia Alvarez. I remember going to the Orange County Hispanic Bar Association's annual dinner and seeing her charm the socks off everyone after a brief speech. Everyone whispered this lady had a chance at becoming great.

I remember Claudia Alvarez. I remember going to her first fundraiser, at Avila's El Ranchito in Santa Ana. As entertainment, she had a woman singing Mexican standards on a karaoke machine. The lady was so wabby she cracked jokes about Michael Jackson. I sang "Tristes Recuerdos." I sucked.

I remember Claudia Alvarez. I remember hanging with the Democrats in 2000 at whichever Anaheim hotel they always have their post-election party. I remember seeing an exhausted Claudia walk in with her supporters, certain of victory over some Papi Pulido puppet. I had stopped volunteering months earlier on amicable terms, having to concentrate on Chapman University.

I remember Claudia Alvarez. I remember seeing her at SanTana city council meetings, where she would wave hola to me from behind the dais.

MARK OF ZORRO, 8 p.m.
Silent film + live orchestra = winning combination.
Meng Concert Hall, 800 N State College Blvd., Fullerton

THE MARS VOLTA, 7 p.m.
Long Beach prog-rock, anyone? See Doug Wallen's writeup from last week's OCW.
Bren Events Center, Mesa Rd. and W. Peltason Dr., Irvine

CHOCOLATE EXPLORATION, 6:30 p.m.
Something to dip into in the pre-Valentine season.
McCoy Equestrian and Recreation Center, 14280 Peyton Drive, Chino Hills

FREE TAX HELP FOR IRVINE, 4 to 7 p.m.
But only if you made less than 50K last year. And live in Irvine. (What are the chances?)
Orange County One-Stop Center (South), 125 Technology Drive, Suite 200, Irvine

KNIT FOR CHARITY, 7 p.m.
These folks don't care if you don't know how!
Congregation B'nai Tzedek, 9669 Talbert Ave. Fountain Valley

I hope you're sitting down. For one thing, checking a blog while standing up is just ... weird.

BYE-BYE RENT CONTROL? LA Times - A June 3rd ballot proposal could end the practice of rent control in California. Lawyers and landlords are both circling. If you prick a landlord, does it not bleed?

PEDESTRIAN KILLED IN HUNTINGTON BEACH: OC Register - Not that it's a slow news day at the Reg (it is); I just wanted to point out an innocent death in Huntington Beach not caused by a police officer. A twentysomething young man is believed to have been crossing Beach Blvd. against a red light. Which is when one is usually struck and killed.

IDENTIFICATION IN CAMP PENDLETON DEATH: OC Register - A Marine found dead early Sunday, the second Marine death reported from the base this week, has been identified.

"Lance Cpl. Johnathon K. Goffred, 22, a Johnson County, In. native was an infantry rifleman serving with the 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment at Camp Pendleton, according to a press release issued today by the United States Marine Corps. He joined the Marine Corps June 8, 2005, and returned from a combat deployment to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom last year."

COSTA MESA EUTHANIZES D.A.R.E. PROGRAM: Daily Pilot - Costa Mesa is no longer willing to pay the cost of what is arguably an ineffective program. Drug and alcohol resistance and education in school seems like a redundancy to many; after all, what else IS school anyway? And for those without parents to instill such values - well, often those parents teach through bad example far more than their kids will learn in some program, the enjoyment of which will have them branded as a narc and a pussy.

"THE DISASTROUS FOOTHILL SOUTH TOLLWAY": LA Times - Our neighbor to the north might have a problem acknowledging R. Scott Moxley's reporting on the Sheriff Carona scandal (not to mention the New York Times), but they got this right: Governor Schwarzenegger's support of the 241 toll road is incomprehensible.

"Maybe Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was trying to make up for planned cuts to state parks. Otherwise, it's hard to imagine what could have led to his recent support for the Foothill South toll road."

COMEDY JUICE COLLEGE NIGHT, 8:00 p.m.
College students laughing their asses off and binge drinking? Forget midterms.
Brea Improv 120 S. Brea Blvd. Brea

CAN I KICK IT???, 10:00 p.m.
Kick it to Grand Master Flash and less of that mainstream hip hop.
Plush Lounge 207 N. Harbor Blvd. Fullerton

80'S WHITE TRASH DISCO, 9:00 p.m.
Let the funk and the hustle take over your night.
Blue Beet Cafe 107 21st Place Newport Beach

SALSA NIGHT, 8:00 p.m.
Indulge in some Latino fever through this salsa class.
Tia Juana's, 14988 Sand Canyon Rd. Irvine

JOEL KOTKIN, 6:45 p.m.
Take a dose of political and social reality.
Marian Miner Cook Athenaeum, 385 E. Eighth St. Claremont

We must apologize for two huge errors we made in our recent post regarding developer Robert Bisno's campaign contribution love affair with SanTana councilmember Claudia Alvarez. We had reported that Bisno and his friends contributed $36,300 to her failed 2006 Assembly race, but we were grossly off. The real figure is $42,900--just Google Bisno with the names Transaction, EMG Properties, Hammerstein, and Andrew Tapper and mix 'n' match on this website. And Bisno didn't donate $20,000 to SanTana's Measure D, which would allow Alvarez to run for a third term--as Orange Juice! reported yesterday, the figure is actually $40,000. So the total Bisno has raised for Alvarez in the past two elections affecting her isn't $106,300; it's $132,900. Our sincerest apologies to Bisno and Alvarez for the error.

The future is now; the future is Marijuana Vending Machines. Technically termed PVMs, or Prescription Vending Machines, and now available at Herbal Nutrition Center in LA, the similarity between these and candy or soda machines ends at the name. They're installed behind secure dispensary doors, only dispense medication (including anti-depressants or Viagra) according to an individual's specific prescription as recorded on RFID-tagged cards, and exist to reduce pharmacy overhead rather than make marijuana more easily available. But that doesn't stop KCAL from trying to be clever.

Hey, they made CNN, they can take a shot from me. Way to go Los Angeles for nipping San Francisco in the bud on this one.

On Saturday, OC Weekly staff writer Luke Y. Thompson and myself took to the streets to see what was going on in Anaheim as a left-wing group known as the A.N.S.W.E.R. coalition and put together a fairly huge "Anti-Zionism" protest with only a few days notice. Fairly predictably, a smaller scale "Pro-Zionism" anti-protest protest set up shop across the street. The spectacle amounted to two groups of people, separated by six lanes of Saturday traffic, shouting at each other from opposite sides of the street.

For those not familiar with the term Zionism, and why there would be and protest against it, and a protest of those protesting against it, here's a very condensed breakdown. The area between the Mediterranean Sea and the Jordan river, known by some as Israel and some as Palestine, was one of the cradles of civilization with a history that goes back to the dawn of time. It was part of the Roman Empire, it's where the Crusades were fought, and it's where little baby Jesus was born. For the three major monotheistic religions, it's one of the holiest places on Earth. Therefore we kill each other over it.

Right now, according to the pro-Palestine groups, Israel is starving the Palestinians by blocking their supply shipments, energy and water, causing a humanitarian crisis of epic proportions. According to pro-Israel groups, Palestinians militants have fired rockets into Israel and therefore are bringing the starvation on themselves.

This stuff might seem like a world away to many of us, but for some participating in the protest, and the anti-protest protest across the street, it's very personal. So personal, in fact, that for the most part, all the "facts" they give are unreliable and all their opinions laden with mistrust and disdain for the other side. Wow, so American!

Check out the video now

On February 23rd, which will be Oscar Eve unless some kind of strike-related silliness postpones the show, the AMC 30 at The Block in Orange will be one of approximately 80 theaters nationwide to screen a quintuple-feature of all the nominees for Best Picture. Thirty bucks gets you a pass to all five, plus a free unlimited-refill popcorn bucket (soda NOT included -- those tricky bastards!).

That's a pretty good deal, if not quite as good as SAWFEST last year (four SAW movies for the price of one). But the funny thing is that aside from the Academy, no-one would ever program these five movies together on the same bill (THERE WILL BE BLOOD and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN would make a great double-feature, though).

The program kicks of at 11 a.m. with the moody, broody legal drama MICHAEL CLAYTON. That's followed at 1:20 p.m. by Daniel Day-Lewis' over-the-top early 20th century oilman spouting off about milkshakes and drainage in THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Then at 4:20 p.m., the beautifully shot tragic romance ATONEMENT; there will be tears, and possibly spit-swapping. After that, at 7 p.m., JUNO, the pregnant teen comedy that functions as a palate-cleanser just long enough so that when Javier Bardem shows up blowing holes in people's heads at 9 p.m. in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, your senses won't feel so pummeled that you can't be shocked.

A special lanyard will be given as your ticket so that you can go chill at the mall for a while between movies (and if you have to skip one, make it ATONEMENT. Have to skip a second? MICHAEL CLAYTON can be missed).

Tickets should be on sale now. The event is Saturday, February 23rd.

Though UC Irvine hip-hop dance team Kaba Modern has been making a name for themselves in underground circles and national and global competitions for some years now—including winning first place at the USA World Hip-Hop Championship and taking second at the International World Finals—it looks like they'll finally be getting the mainstream attention they deserve.

Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew is MTV's latest foray at the bizarrely popular reality dance competition phenom. The show's scoured America for the best street and studio dance crews and they've narrowed it down to just 12—including Kaba Modern.

Though the team is usually much larger in size, Kaba has chosen to represent their 15-year, award-ridden legacy with six members: Tony Tran, Mike Song, Yuri Tang, Lawrence Kao, Cindy Minowa and Jia Huang, all UC Irvine students.

Kaba's made it past the tough audition phase of the show—see the YouTube clip here—facing a panel of judges that includes JC Chasez and Shane Sparks and uh, host Mario Lopez, but now they've got to go up against some of America's best... but that's nothing they're not already used to.

Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew premieres Thursday, February 7 at 10 p.m.

Remember R. Scott Moxley's challenge to a certain former sheriff? The one in which he dared Michael S. Carona to play the contents of secret tapes containing conversations between himself and former assistant sheriff Don Haidl? The same tapes Carona said would prove his innocence?! Well, Mox threw down the gauntlet over a month ago, and, unsurprisingly, the Carona camp didn't take it up. Instead, over the weekend, the news broke that Carona's attorneys filed a motion to throw said tapes out. Hm. Do we smell a rat or a big fat chicken? Or some bastard hybrid breed? Give it up, Carona and Caronies.

Other things that transpired over the break:

Dave Segal spent Friday night at Detroit Bar and reports it was "your basic hipster dance party starring NYC mash-up DJ Pase Rock and a club full of Cokey McCokersons." Cuddly.

Also on Fri: Waleed Rashidi went to see the Circle Jerks at the Pomona Glass House. In last week's edition of OC Weekly, Ryan Ritchie determined that "getting old sucks, especially for a 52-year-old punk front man famous for singing 'Live Fast, Die Young.'" Though the Weekly piece sounded like a death knell for the Jerks, Wal found them bouncing across the stage "with the nervous activity of a fourth-grader whose Ritalin prescription expired last month."

Saturday night found Reza Allah-Bakhshi at Surf City Saloon where the bar owner got him liquored up on the house as he watched the Generators, Longway, Unwanted Guests and Blacktop Idol take the stage. His lens was broken, but Reza took some killer shots anyway. On Sunday, Reza made his way to Detroit to see 8MM and the Papercranes. Read his take here.

LYT spent Sunday night watching the WWE Royal Rumble in Hi-Def at the home of Snakes on a Plane executive producer Jeff Katz: "In case you're wondering, surprise entrant John Cena won the 30-man main event, which will place him in the main event of WrestleMania this March, most likely against Randy Orton. Hmmm, that match sounds familiar..."

In other happy news, our Amanda Parsons (who was recently freed from Real Housewives review bondage) got herself a brand new Mini Cooper over the weekend. Amanda's old ride was totaled on the 22 Freeway earlier in the month - after being stolen and beaten up last year. Here's hoping that's the end of those auto woes.

One one hand, yes it's a bit same-y. On the OTHER hand - how often does the former sheriff of (let's be honest) one of the most important counties in America get in so much hot fudge and creamery butter FBI-style?

Not often, sir. And/or madam. Not often at all.

HOW TO REPRESENT CARONA: LA Times - A good look at how former Sheriff Michael Carona, while earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for not working, somehow managed to retain a firm pro bono - "Though not unheard of, the case -- defending an allegedly corrupt sheriff who is making about $200,000 a year in retirement -- is unusual by pro bono standards. Typically, pro bono work involves providing legal services to society's most vulnerable -- the indigent, the homeless, the infirm."

ROHRABACHER'S PARK DOUBLE-SPEAK: Daily Pilot - According to the Pilot, Rohrabacher cannot help with the threatened cutbacks on state parks. Surfin' Dana says this of the Governor's threat to close 48 parks:

“They are trying to scare people and keep the system the way it is, and we need to make it better and more efficient.”

Rohrabacher has no control over the situation because he’s a federal lawmaker, but state legislators vow to do what they can to stave off the cuts.

And yet he can support a toll road through another State Park. Fascinating.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN MICHAEL CORONA: LA Times - Former Sheriff Mike Carona, not to be confused with former club hit "My Sharona," wants secret tapes of his conversations with pervert-father Don Haidl thrown out of court.

"According to the filing, investigators broke the law when they had former Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl use a body wire to record conversations with Carona on July 7, July 15 and Aug. 13. Such recordings are admissible as evidence in federal court only if the target of the investigation hasn’t retained an attorney — but Carona had had legal counsel for two years and prosecutors knew it, his attorneys argue."

One can't help but wonder where he stashed that body-wire.

The Coastal Commission has had to change its February meeting venue to accommodate the expected 2,000-odd attendees. This is bad news for the Transportation Corridor Agencies, who already sent out an email to their contractors begging for support. The issue is the 241 (Foothill-South) toll road extension; the Governor's recent letter to the Commission in support of the project has reinvigorated both the supporters and opponents of the project. Ergo the new venue, Wyland Hall at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, which can hold up to 3,000 people. That’s a whole lot of subcontractors.

From the letter to contractors:

In an effort to fill the room with supporters of the FTC-S [Foothill-South] project; the goal is to bring 250 people to the event from the Design Build team member firms; 50 of whom are willing to speak. Kleinfelder has committed to having at least fifteen people attend the meeting, with five willing to speak on the importance and value of completing the SR-241 extension.

Sometime on Saturday, according to the OC Register, Greg Haidl will be released from prison.

He is being released early because he was given automatic credit for good time and work time while in prison and for the time he served in the Orange County Jail before his sentencing, according to Bill Sessa, a spokesman for the California Department of Corrections.

How heartwarming to know that our Department of Corrections and/or Rehabilitation gives sex offenders an incentive to play nice-pervert in prison.
The comments on the Register article are less than welcoming - the citizens of San Clemente have even been warned to monitor the Meghan's Law website.

For the planet's finest coverage of how Haidl and his coevals gang-raped an unconscious girl with a Snapple bottle, a pool cue and a lit cigarette, we look to none other than our own R. Scott Moxley - see the catalog BY CLICKING HERE.

Also: READ ABOUT GREG GOING TO PRISON.

Only in SanTana can an effort to impose term limits on Papi Pulido transform into a ballot measure to extend term limits for councilmembers. But that's exactly what happened with Measure D, which SanTana voters will decide on February 5 and is one of the most laughable pieces of crap to grace Orange County ballots since Tan Nguyen ran for office.

Measure D proposes to extend term limits for SanTana councilmembers from two terms to three. The person who would immediately benefit is councilmember Claudia Alvarez, who is termed out this November unless Measure D passes. The argument in favor of the measure--signed by Papi Pulido and councilmember Sal Tinajero, amongst others--reads like the typical little-man call for freedom. "Santa Ana community leaders strongly believe that ethics reform and term limits will make City government more honest, effective and accountable to voters," it reads and from there it mentions "special interests" twice and "developers" three times, always negatively, always in the context of reducing their stranglehold over SanTana.

The most hilarious part about the Yes on Measure D crowd? Its principle donor is a developer--and man, do Robert Bisno (pictured above) and pals want their gal Claudia to stay!

RAMBO.

I wish I had been watching it last night instead of MEET THE SPARTANS (see review here), but duty called, and my assignment took precedence. I knew what I was getting into. And I also think I know what I'm getting into with RAMBO.

I do have a problem with the title. The second Rambo movie was already called RAMBO, with the sub-heading FIRST BLOOD PART II. Then came RAMBO III, which was actually FIRST BLOOD III, or arguably RAMBO II. So the new RAMBO, sans subhead, is in fact the real RAMBO III, and FIRST BLOOD PART IV. Just calling the damn thing JOHN RAMBO, as originally planned, would have solved the whole problem.

UPDATE: Photos are up.

By Amanda Parsons and Erin DeWitt

When the press release for a Newport Beach bachelor auction came across our desks, we were all over that shit. And when we heard there was going to be an open bar? The deal got even sweeter.

You would think that a room full of eligible men, free flowing alcohol and some B-list reality TV stars would make for a fun evening.

It didn’t.

Nick Schou's "Just a Random Female," which recounted the harrowing tale of the 1986 murder of Robbin Brandley at Saddleback College and the subsequent search for her killer, will be included in the 2008 edition of The Best American Crime Reporting anthology. This book has in the past featured articles from such publications as Esquire, The Atlantic Monthly, GQ and New York magazine.

If you haven't read Nick's story yet, you should. But do yourself a favor: Make sure you're somewhere well-lit, and with lots of people around. In addition to being a heartbreaking tale of a family's loss and a page-turning police procedural, this story is absolutely terrifying.

Tony Saavedra and Norberto Santana, Jr. at the Orange County Register had an interesting article today about how Orange County Sheriff's Deputies routinely use Tasers on handcuffed jail inmates.

Imagine that!

"Two videotapes obtained from lawyers suing the county for excessive force show deputies wrenching the arms of inmates and using Tasers on defendants already on their bellies or strapped to a chair," the story noted. The names of the inmates are Mathew Fleuret and Liza Muñoz, both of whom were arrested on relatively minor charges—Fleuret for being in a bar fight and Munoz for getting pulled over with Vicodin in her friend's purse—and are now suing the Sheriff's Department for violating their civil rights.

This hard-hitting Register story is exactly the type of muckracking journalism Register readers need and deserve. So just how did our dynamic duo of diggers get their big scoop? Here's my theory: Saavedra read the Jan. 23 LA Times story about Fleuret by Paul Pringle that ran on the front page of the California section, which actually broke the story of the incident and provided just the kind of gritty details from the video that must have made Saavedra curious enough to call Fleuret's lawyers and ask for the same tape.

Meanwhile, Santana, Jr. must have scratched his head and said something along the lines of, "Hmm, this sounds familiar, didn't I read about a similar incident involving a woman named Liza Muñoz, like a year ago in OC Weekly? Why don't I Google her name? Why, yes, here's that story. Why don't I call Muñoz' attorney and ask for the videotape? And let's not forget to not mention the Weekly story, since it came out last year, and call the video 'new.' Yay, that was fun—and easy!"

Nice work, fellas. While the Register ripping off OC Weekly is nothing new—I'm thinking of their coverage of ex-Huntington Beach Mayor Pam Houchen's illegal condo conversion scam, which was first reported by us and led to her indictment on bank and wire fraud charges and two-year prison sentence—at least the Register actually added to that story. Today's article contains absolutely no new information about either the Fleuret or Muñoz beating cases, but it still deserves credit as a work of art.

What with all that cutting and pasting, let's call it a collage.

RELEASE THE BATS, 9 p.m.
Ahem, "Hard drinkin' foul mouthed in yer face American Gothic dance club."
Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St. Long Beach

INTO THE WOODS, 7:30 p.m.
The twisted mind of Stephen Sondheim meets the Brothers Grimm. What could possibly go wrong?
Rose Center Theater, 14140 All American Way, Westminster

DAVID SPADE, 8 p.m.
Just Shoot Him.
Brea Improv, 120 S. Brea Blvd., Brea

THE JOHN & KEN SHOW: 20 YEARS OF RAGE, 5 p.m.
A multimedia retrospective. Bah, this one's sold out, but maybe you'll get lucky on Craigslist.
OC Pavilion, 801 N Main St., Santa Ana

2008 GRAND NATIONAL ROADSTER SHOW, till 9 p.m.
Drive north, young Orange Countian, for some automotive eye candy.
Pomona Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona

Driving back from lunch at El Pollo de Oro, a friend noticed a plethora of news vans at the Bowers Museum.

"What's happening there?," he wondered out loud.

"Probably a new gems exhibit," I cracked.

Little did we know that Orange County's oldest private museum was raided by the feds this morning for illegally acquiring looted antiques. Amazing--an immigration raid in SanTana not involving Mexicans for once. Nothing to add right now except the blog of the Bowers Museum collection department.

Anyone wanna wager which ones did the Bowers folks get legitimately and which did they go Indy on?

Good news and bad news with this month's edition of Esquire.

The good news is the cover, a simple shot of four Victoria's Secret models with little text to distract like most of the esteemed magazine's 2007 efforts. But horrible news comes that Esquire is ending its long-running annual "Dubious Achievements" awards feature.

The local angle, of course, is that the feature always included the above-picture of President (and Orange County boy) Richard Nixon with the caption "Why is this Man Laughing?" Godspeed, Dubious Achievements--and do ustedes Esquire folks mind putting more Victoria's Secret models flashing their thong tan lines in its place?

Did Arnie's lawn suddenly sprout itchy red bumps? No, it's only volunteers from Sierra Club, Friends of the Foothills and Surfrider - all members of the Save San Onofre Coalition. Each red tent on the lawn represents one of the campsites the Transportation Corridor Agencies would destroy by building its 241 (Foothill-South) toll road extension through San Onofre State Beach.

Sierra Club and Friends of the Foothills would like to thank volunteers Jerry Collamer, Ed Schlegel, Jack Eidt, Mike Hazzard, Deborah Fry, Amanda Fry, Candice Mize, Kyle, Steve Netherby, Janine Robinson, Carey Strombotne, Stefanie Sekich, Marty Benson, Rick Erkeneff, and Brian Alper.

Check out this slideshow of OC activists reppin' the county in Sacramento:

Good morning children. On this day in history in 1848, James Sutter first found gold at Sutter's Mill, starting the California Gold Rush. In 1935, the first cans of beer were sold in the US. And in 2003 the Department of Homeland Security began operation. Hooray beer, boo Homeland Security.

Read this while the coffee takes hold:

STATE PRISON RECEIVER CANNED: LA Times - Out goes Robert Kelso after only two years. Why? Assemblyman Todd Spitzer (R-Orange), a local boy who chairs a committee on prisons, said Sillen had "alienated every single party that was necessary to solve the crisis." And maybe it had something to do with all the sex offender deaths.

UCI COP INTO WATERSPORTS: OC Register - UCI Police Dispatcher Scott Cornelius is on paid administrative leave while the university investigates why Cornelius's photo site has the photo credits for shots of OC high school water polo players which appeared on gay-themed websites. One shot of a lad adjusting his trunks has received thousands of page views, it seems. Hey, good thing the guy's getting paid, right? Otherwise he couldn't afford to take pictures of youngish boys in swimwear.

MORE DEVORE: Daily Pilot - Assemblyman Chuck Devore, master of the 70th District, announced his plans to run for re-election and not for Senate. Maybe now he can finally make it legal to grow industrial hemp in California. Keep it green, Chuck.

WATCH OC DEPUTIES BEAT A PRISONER: KABC - What better way to start the day than watch a horde of Sheriff's deputies taze and beat seven circles of hell out of Matthew Fleuret? Now Mr. Fleuret is suing the department for $47 Million. See the video for yourself and soak in R. Scott Moxley's commentary. Where do you think you'd have less of a chance of survival - the OC jail or the California prison system?

OC'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR, 7:00 p.m.
Bachelors gone wild for the single and ready to mingle.
Newport Lexus Showroom 3901 MacArthur Blvd Newport Beach, Ca.

PETER BJORN AND JOHN, 8:00 p.m.
If you never have before, now's the time to hear their song "Young Folks" live.
Orange County Performing Arts Center 600 Town Center Drive Costa Mesa

BEER TASTING, 6:00 p.m.
More beer, more merry! Nothing makes a belly happier than good food with some killer beer.
Black Gold Golf Club One Black Gold Drive Yorba Linda

ORIGINAL MIKE'S SUAVE, 7:00 p.m.
Groove to a new beat. Mike's new band Suave takes the stage.
Original Mike's, 100 South Main Street, Santa Ana

WINE & CHEESE TASTING, 5:30 p.m.
In case you're more of a wine-o than a beer guzzler.
Laguna Culinary Arts 845 Laguna Canyon Rd. Laguna Beach

As predicted, on January 18th Jim "The Poorman" Trenton and his attorney Brian D. Boydston filed suit against KDOC and its parent company Ellis Communications. The suit alleges breach of contract, and demands damages "in a sum according to proof at trial, but not less that $27,646" for revenues lost due to ads being pulled from the TV show Poorman's Bikini Beach, ads involving the adult DVD companies Landmark Video, Maximum Mojo, and genital wart removal specialist Dr. Jeffrey Lauber.

Curiously, the suit doesn't name KDOC's Bert Ellis specifically; rather, it names Ellis Communications and "DOES 1 through 10" [that's "Does" as a plural of "John Doe"]. Later in the suit, this is explained as "The true names and capacities of the Defendants sued herein as Does 1-10, inclusive, are currently unknown to Plaintiff who, therefore, sues these Defendants by such fictitious names." Asked to comment, Trenton claimed this is standard practice where the individual in question may have business partners involved in the issue.

KDOC has 30 days to respond or settle. Meanwhile, the Poorman's KRCA debut has been pushed back to February 4th, and they've apparently given him the go-ahead to plug porn and genital warts to his heart's content.

Once more, for good measure, here's that genital warts ad. If you owned a TV network, would you air it?