When Pigs Flew, Hell Froze Over, Etc.

The most common question I received all weekend, after I appeared on KFI-AM 640 to ply my ¡Ask a Mexican! spiel: How the hell did I smuggle myself onto the KFI airwaves? Tequila? Are they sponsoring my citizenship? Tamales?

Chalk it up to luck, idiocy, and graciousness.

A couple of months ago, I received an email from Neil Saavedra, KFI's marketing director, host of The Jesus Christ Show, and OC Weekly cover boy. He was wondering if I'd be interested in guest-hosting on KFI. After reassuring me he wasn't joking, Neil said he'd take the idea to KFI programming director Robin Bertolucci. We had lunch a couple of weeks later, where I pitched my radio show idea to the two--non-stop bashing of Carona and the Catholic Church, with ¡Ask a Mexican! for the last hour. They seemed interested but I left lunch with no promises for guest-hosting in the future.

Cut to a couple of weeks ago, when John Ziegler announced he was leaving his 7 p.m.-10 p.m. weeknight slot. Thank God for that--both myself and Nick Schou never liked Ziegler after he trashed the Coast to Coast AM nation to which we belong (watch out for the reptilians!). Bertolucci invited me to fill in for a night but asked for topics. I gave her some, but said I'd start by answering people's questions about Mexicans, and would continue as long as folks had questions.

I ended up doing ¡Ask a Mexican! the three hours, in between playing tracks by Banda el Recodo and Luis Perez Meza. The KFI nation lived up to its Know Nothing reputation--hey, Eloise in SanTana: still railing about Mexican kids stealing and Mexicans husbands learning to lie from their wives?--but I also received many calls and emails from Latinos and gabachos thanking me for providing a different view on the Reconquista than what KFI hosts usually offer. More importantly, I received calls and emails on all types of questions--the lines were lit up all night, and I received at least 100 emails in those three hours. And throughout, all KFI staff was incredibly gracious--Bill Handel and Wayne Resnick plugged the show during their programs, Saavedra and Bertolucci provided helpful tips before the show, and news anchor Leah Brandon provided encouragement throughout.

My actual performance? KFI hasn't put up the audio on its website yet, and I'm not sure if they will. But if you heard me, and liked the show, email programming@kfi640.com or leave your comments below, and ask them to have me back. And if you hated my radio debut? DO NOT email them, me, or leave comments below. I repeat--DO NOT. It's the worst thing you can do--trust me.