"The Glory of Christmas": A Review by Outsiders

We here in Orange County are so jaded by the Crystal Cathedral's Glory of Christmas spectacular that we frequently forget how stupendous the production is. Leave it to the holy geniuses over at the Wittenburg Door to remind us of our jewel. Under the title, "And They Laid Him in a Manger, Somewhere Out By John Wayne Airport," writer Becky Garrison said The Glory of Christmas can "best be described as a combination Joel Osteen/Andrew Lloyd Weber/Branson, Missouri spectacle of the first two chapters of Luke as they would have been envisioned by Aimee Semple Macpherson if she'd known about special effects." The rest of the piece similarly features bon mots, but the topper is this one:

Since I’ve actually been to Bethlehem, I have photos proving that the place where Jesus was allegedly born aren't actually painted Barney-the-Dinosaur purple, but let's not tell anyone in Orange County, all right?

And lest ustedes think the Wittenburg Door is some snarky rag ala the Weekly, read this.