Los Angeles County firefighters who traveled the distance to fight recent blazes in San Diego County are being charged $100 for using the toll roads without paying the fee, the Register reported today.

It seems that these "heroes" think they are the kings of the world who are magically exempt from such charges. Darn firefighters! They think they can get away with everything. It's not like they were heading to save some lives or anything.

Oh wait. Yes they were. In fact, the blazes destroyed 1700 homes, burned 368000 acres and killed 10 people in San Diego county and the damage could have been worse if it weren't for these brave souls.

But emergency situations don't seem to matter much to the TCA, who told the LAFD to pay up regardless. However, they were nice enough to reduce the fine to $5 after much coaxing from fire department officials.

All I have to say is that the TCA better hope their headquarters doesn't catch fire any time soon. That might make for an uncomfortable situation.

Read the Register's story here.

Ooooh yeah, dig it...THE SAVAGES.

The name of the movie is one of those insufferable cutesy puns – these characters have the surname of “Savage” and they behave poorly! Why, that's ironic! -- but don't let that deter you from the rest of the movie, a film that achieves the rare balance of being both hilarious and tragic.

It begins with a lovably surreal musical number in the suburbs of Arizona, with elderly chorus girls, before rubbing our faces in shit, literally – Dad Savage (Philip Bosco) is losing his mind, and writing words in his feces. If that weren't bad enough, his elderly wife then dies...only she's not his wife, just a long-term companion with whom he had the equivalent of a pre-nup, so that on her death, he gets nothing but a metaphorical boot out the door, right when he needs care the most.

FREE FRIDAYS, until 5pm
No admission cost every Friday.
Long Beach Museum of Art, 2300 East Ocean Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 439-2119

HOMECOMING CHRISTMAS FAIR, 5pm
The event will feature vendors, a kid's petting zoo, bounce houses, pony rides and of course Santa.
Piecemakers Country Store, 1720 Adams Ave., Costa Mesa, (714) 641-3112

HOTEL CALIFORNIA: A SALUTE TO THE EAGLES, 8pm
Doors open at 5pm
OC Pavilion, 801 N Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 550-0880

ROCKIN’ MOMS MUSIC SHOWCASE, 8pm
Join grammy-nominated Tiffany Petrossi, Rosanna D'Agnillo, and Arlene Kole--all prominent local musicians who happen to be moms--for an evening of hot mamas and great music.
The Gypsy Den, 125 N Broadway, Santa Ana, (714) 835-8840

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, 8pm
A unique holiday production.
The Maverick Theater, 110 E. Walnut Ave., Fullerton

Seriously: tomorrow, at 7 p.m. inshallah, yours truly will be a guest host on KFI-AM 640. Sí, the same KFI of perpetual Latino immigrant antagonizers John & Ken, of Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, Matt Drudge, and so many other conservative darlings is allowing this Mexican to peddle his Reconquista propaganda for three hours--no restrictions, no co-host to mitigate. I'll do some on-air "Ask a Mexican" until the masses tire of it, at which point...well, you'll just have to tune in tomorrow, ¿qué no?

Apparently Bravo can't get enough of The Real Housewives of Orange County and now we're all going to suffer.

The network just green lit a one-hour pilot for ousted housewife Jo De La Rosa as she searches for love and tries to become a famous singer in Los Angeles.

I didn't think television could get any more desperate for reality shows about love. But hey, they gave one to frickin' Bret Michaels so what do I know. I guess people will watch anything no matter how mundane and irrelevant. That must be why Entertainment Tonight is still on the air.

To see the formal press release for Jo Jo's new show click here.

Weekly contributing writer Joel Beers checks in on the recent developments in OC's theater scene:

The Orange County Register reported Monday that the city of Garden Grove may finally have a tenant to take over the two city-owned theaters on Main Street: the Gem Theatre, a former movie house turned 250-seat inside theater, and the approximately 500-seat Festival Amphitheatre, the county's best outdoor venue.

The theaters have been vacant for nearly two years after the Grove Theater Center split after 12 years of trying to balance what the city wanted—community theater crap—and more diverse plays, including new works, adventurous Samuel Beckett offerings, and the best thing to ever hit Orange County theater: the Troubadour Theatre Company.

The Grove, which was comprised of Kevin Cochran and Charles Johansen, two East Coast imports whose talents and vision were under-appreciated in stodgy Garden Grove, are now based in Burbank, and a 2007 world premiere it produced, Film Chinois, recently won best new play laurels in the 2007 Ovation awards.

While it's cool that a resident company might soon move into the space, it's hardly grounds to celebrate too wildly when you consider who it is: One More Productions, which, over the past four years, has given Orange County audiences such riveting fare as Bye Bye Birdie, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown and Little Shop of Horrors.

Yep, that's it. The crazy collaborations by designers have come to the most unthinkable huh?-inducing climax with the special limited-edition Vespa designed by Gap.

Yeah, that Gap. With the sweaters, khakis and same designs every year (save for the color palette) GAP. Snoozy GAP.

But this? This is kinda adorable.

So if you happen to be wondering what to get me for Christmas this year, you can go ahead and buy me this colorful 2007 Limited Edition Vespa LX50 with a custom "Crazy Stripe" design, all at a cool $5,999. Never mind that I could never take that thing on the freeway and the dissemination of Southern California and its overall incompatibility with scooters and the sort. Totally not important.

Find out how to purchase your own Gap-designed Vespa here.

A couple of weeks ago, your favorite wab invaded the pages of the Eugene Weekly, the great alt-weekly that serves Eugene, Oregon. The reception hasn't been bueno--in fact, Eugene Weekly editor Ted Taylor met yesterday with "concerned Latino community leaders" (my quotes, not his) who want him to drop the column. In order to explain ¡Ask a Mexican! to the non-satire inclined, the paper's cover story this week is an interview with me, which touches on the same notes that this one and this one did. And for further merriment, check out this segment on a Eugene television station. Confidential to the Asian chick, who fretted that the next insulting column down my slippery slope would be "Ask an Asian": it's even better than that--it's "Ask a Korean!", and it's pinche brilliant.

• Bishop Brown citation dropped: The Los Angeles Times reports that a contempt-of-court citation against Orange Bishop Tod Brown has been dropped as part of an almost-$7 million sex abuse settlement. Plaintiff's attorney John Manly said the diocese forced them to drop their bid for the citation: "The diocese insisted that it be done this way or they would have refused to pay our clients." But Diocese of Orange attorney Peter Callahan, in typical Callahan form, said the contempt case was dismissed by the court because it "lacked merit." Gustavo Arellano blogs the hell out of the Orange sex abuse scandal often enough - check out his Ex Cathedra archive here.
• Late to the dance again: The Register plays catch-up with the Times on yesterday's Debbie Carona story. Kind of like the way they did when the indictment story broke last month.
• Sea lion stabber fesses up: The jerk who stabbed a sea lion with a steak knife through the heart in Newport Beach last July has a name - Hai Nguyen. CBS News reports that he was fishing off a NB pier when the creature snatched the bait from his line. Nguyen told a federal magistrate that he never meant to kill the sea lion, just scare it away, y'know, with a knife. He faces up to a year in prison and a $20,000 fine.
• Lost and Found: A San Clemente mother was reported missing earlier in the month and has yet to be found. Heather Lynn Gould left her two children, purse and IDs home on Oct. 15. Her fiancee waited three weeks to file a missing persons report in the hopes she would return. Meanwhile, the 65-year-old Anaheim guy with Alzheimer's who wandered away from a hospital Monday was found safe yesterday at a shopping center on Euclid Street.
• Best rumor ever: Britney Spears? At our upcoming Christmas party?! Wonder who cooked that one up. . .

SPECIAL SPARKLERS, 6pm
Tasting of sparkling wines (start prepping for New Years!)
WineStyles, 270 E 17th St., Ste. 14, Costa Mesa, (949) 631-6627

A CHRISTMAS WITH SCROOGE, 7pm
Runs through December 23rd.
Musical Theatre Village, 36-C Mauchly, Irvine

THE WOMAN WHO WAS HEPBURN, 7pm
Author William J. Mann will discuss his biography of the leading lady.
Central Library, 1000 Avocado Ave., Newport Beach

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES: THE MUSICAL, 8pm
A musical adaptation of the classic novel about Anne Shirley, a red-haired, wide eyed orphan girl.
The Chance Theater, 5552 E. La Palma Ave., Anaheim, (714) 777-3033

BEETHOVEN’S SEVENTH, 8pm
Classical music fans should take note.
OC Performing Artscenter, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall