Sheriff Mike Carona, facing federal criminal corruption charges, turned himself in early this morning at the Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse in downtown Santa Ana. Later in the afternoon, Carona, along with his wife Debbie and mistress Debra Hoffman, appeared in the courtroom of Judge Robert Block for a pre-arraignment hearing . . . aaahhh, you don’t wanna read that stuff.

And I don’t wanna write it, either. Seriously, you can find all that blah-blah somewhere else (excepting maybe the OC Register, still reeling from getting totally scooped by the LA Times when the Carona indictment story broke).

I’d rather scrawl about the odd gent in the highwater pants and football T-shirt—apparently a court regular—who chatted up a bailiff just outside Judge Robert Block’s courtroom. The bailiff seemed to know him:

“I’m here for the Carona case!” said the guy, excitedly. “I shook his hand this morning!”

“Did you wash it?” asked his bailiff buddy.

“No!”

So the coming Carona trial has its first groupie.

After eight years with Los Angeles Times Magazine (where he's currently a senior editor), Martin Smith is heading back to OC to be editor-in-chief of Orange Coast Magazine.

In a past life, Smith was staff writer and columnist for The Orange County Register. He went on to edit Orange Coast from 1994 through 1998.

He'll be with the Times till Nov. 9 and start at Orange Coast on Nov. 19.

Update: Kevin Roderick points us to a posted press release on CNN.

Sheriff Michael S. Carona and his wife Debbie make their walk of shame out of the Ronald Reagan Federal Building and U.S. Courthouse at around 4 p.m. The pair (and Carona's longtime mistress, Debra Hoffman) sat cuffed inside the building moments earlier. Click the photo for more images from this afternoon's media circus!

Alas, no photos of the much-talked-about threesome in cuffs. No cams were allowed in the building, and they didn't wear 'em out.

"He's just lucky that both his wife and his mistress are named Debbie. Keeps it simple for the guy. Harder to mess up." - One dude in a suit to another outside the Ronald Reagan Federal Building and U.S. Courthouse this morning, on Sheriff Mike Carona.

His Indictedness eluded the media again this morning, sneaking into the courthouse a little past 7 a.m. when everyone showed up at 8 (hoping to catch him at 9). But that doesn't mean there wasn't any royalty at the scene:

Happy Halloween! Peggy Lowe reports that Carona, his wife and mistress are being held in separate cells at the Reagan Building.

Their hearing's at 2 p.m. Our very own Rich Kane will report from the scene later today, so do check back.

TUSTIN HAUNT, @ sunset
Free haunted attraction.
13151 Brittany Woods Dr., Tustin
www.tustinhaunt.com

HAPPY HOUSE, 6pm
Halloween event featuring a bounce house, pony rides, a petting zoo, yummy food, etc.
Hope International University, 2500 E. Nutwood Ave., Fullerton, (714) 879-3901 ext. 1201
www.hiu.edu/news/103107_hhouse.htm

BOOT HILL, 7pm
Creepy transformed house.
16 Goldenrod, Irvine
www.legendofboothill.com

QUEEN MARY’S SHIPWRECK, 7pm
Last night for this Halloween special.
The Queen Mary, 1126 Queens Hwy., Long Beach, (562)-435-3511
www.queenmaryshipwreck.com

REGINA SPEKTOR, 8:30pm
Music fix. Doors open at 7pm.
The Grove of Anaheim, 2200 East Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712 - 2700
www.thegroveofanaheim.com/events/show.aspx?ID=507

Carona Should Resign? Absolutely not. There is no telling which clown would takeover from the cesspool that contains Carona’s upper management. Besides, as an investigative journalist, I’d mourn the loss of a character like Mike Carona sitting atop the sheriff’s department. Sure, he’s dirty. Yes, yes, he routinely tries to use the powers of his office to frighten me. But Carona’s a guaranteed scandal maker. Last year, I dubbed him “Calamity Mike” after we obtained an audio recording of him having sex with a department secretary while his temperamental wife (indicted too, can you believe?) and sweet son (too young to be committing felonies yet--we hope) sat feet away in another vehicle. Classy. I’ve been around long enough to know two things: Carona’s not 100 percent bad and he very well may someday enter a local fine dining establishment with his chest out and his nose up—winking, of course, at chicks who still dig his soiled uniform. Carona and wife Deborah—not Debra, his longtime mistress (indicted too, can you believe?)—hit the media circuit yesterday. It must have been painful, considering the depths of the sheriff’s hatred of the press. He told Christine Hanley at the Los Angeles Times, “I’m staying because I love the job and I do a good job.” Sure, Mikey. Looks fun. The wife—how can she reign superior over her tea group now?—played whiny victim by casting FBI and IRS agents as villains. Please, women. We should thank the Feds who worked on this case. Without you folks, Orange County would be lawless for the power players who run the place. Final thought until tomorrow: The idea of ex-Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl—a slimy, hillbilly character straight from central casting who has already pleaded guilty in the bribery scheme—wearing a wire while OC’s top cop allegedly tries to convince him to lie to a federal grand jury is priceless. I imagine the conversation going like this:

Haidl: (deeply inhales cigarette smoke and before exhaling) Fuck.
Sheriff: We're fucked.
Haidl: (gulps a shot of whiskey) Fuck.
Sheriff: Fuckin' Moxley.
Haidl (farts) Fuck.
Sheriff: Your sister's looking hot.

-- R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly

Hello cinephiles.

You know how you guys are always complaining about what junk Hollywood puts out, and proclaiming your love for independent films?

I have one question in response: Where are you? With three screens of constantly running films that are as independent as it gets, the AMC at Downtown Disney ought to be your destination of choice this week. Instead, I frequently find myself alone in a large auditorium, watching something that even the director couldn’t show up for. Granted, sometimes the movies aren’t great, but sometimes they are. How will you know if you don’t show up?

Indiefest could certainly use a fulltime publicist. As I meet filmmakers here, the most common thing they tell me is that they had no idea they could have sent me a copy of their film to get some advance coverage. A publicist would be on the ball about that, but you can’t count on such things, would-be Spielbergs. So here are some serious pointers for those of you who might get a film entered in a festival one day:

With the world going ga-ga about our federally indicted sheriff Mike Carona, what better time to take a trip back and revisit the county's more-jerkish sheriffs? Just a brief history, ma'am:

THEO LACY (1891-1895; 1899-1911): Presided over the last lynching in Orange County history.

LOGAN JACKSON (1931-1939): The orange grower who colluded with the District Attorney's office and other orange growers to brutally suppress the 1936 Citrus War. Issued the threat heard 'round Depression -era America: "Shoot to Kill."

JIM MUSICK (1947-1974): During a trial charging participants in the Citrus War, the then-deputy sheriff strolled around the courtroom brandishing a Tommy gun while flanked by two other deputy sheriffs. Wrote a shocked Cary McWilliams years later in his 1946 classic Southern California Country: An Island in the Land, "In the courtrooms of the county, I met former classmates of mine in college, famous athletes of the University of Southern California, armed with revolvers and clubs, ordering Mexicans around as though they were prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp.”

(Quick aside: the above three incidents involved Mexicans. Why are we not surprised that even in the past, the OC Sheriff's Department harassed wabs?)

BRAD GATES (1974-1999): Carona's predecessor, and the moron he vowed not to emulate. Too late!

Thanks to the ever-popular Brazilian bikini wax, crabs (public lice) are quite possibly the next critters to make it to the endangered species list.

The Brazilian wax removes most or all of the hair from a woman’s, um, southern region. Since crabs need hair to survive, pubic enemy number one has nowhere to go.

The crabs’ possible endangerment came about during a study at a Dutch museum, where scientists could not find anyone to donate a single louse. Scientists now fear for the insect’s future, and blame the world's lack of short-n-curlies.

On the bright side (not that there’s a dark side if you ask... anybody), it looks like Paris Hilton may have found her next charitable cause.

About a month ago, I trailed the Southern California Paranormal Research Society on a series of paranormal investigations of local Orange County locations. The group had some unconventional beliefs to say the least (their leader believes he has a portal to the light in his abdominal region. . .) but I still enjoyed myself and learned a lot about the human imagination.

Anyhow, they are apparently makin' the media rounds and will be appearing on ABC 7 tonight at 11 p.m. (Timely, with Halloween tomorrow, hm?) So take some time and watch will ya? It should be a ghoulish experience.

You can read an account of my investigative journey, listen to some audio clips and view a slideshow of images here.

Just got off the phone with Malcolm Smith, a former priest in the Orange diocese who served at St. Kilian Church in Mission Viejo during the mid-1990s. Smith was there when Patrick Ziemann--then the Bishop of Santa Rosa, formerly a Mater Dei instructor--allegedly abused a boy during confession at a religious retreat. When the boy's mother complained to then-Orange Bishop Norman McFarland about the incident, His Excellency replied by stating he couldn't "conceive it as being possibly true, either as to the action alleged . . . or as to its circumstances" and said such accusations were "open to a libel suit."

Now here's the rest of the story, according to Smith:

This morning, the Weekly stood with folks from the LAT, ABC7, NBC4 and other media outlets outside the Ronald Reagan Federal Building and U.S. Courthouse, waiting with bated breath and loaded cameras for the man of the hour—Sheriff Michael S. Carona (R-Indicted)—to make his walk of shame. Alas, the indicted party pooper was a no-show, and everyone went home empty-camera'd. We'll be back tomorrow to see if His Indictedness will grace us with his indicted presence.

Meanwhile, intrepid Weekly investigative reporter R. Scott Moxley was holed up at some undisclosed location sipping a Sapporo and poring over the federal indictment papers.

You can do the same. Download the case against the OC sheriff here.

Update: The Total Buzz blog reports that Supervisor John Moorlach is calling for Carona to step down. Let's see who jumps on the bandwagon next.

Beneath the cut, the official press release from the U.S. Attorney’s office:

The Orange County Fire Authority reports that the Santiago blaze is now 75 percent contained. Though firefighters are hoping to kill the beast by Friday (before the nasty Santa Ana winds whip it up over the weekend), the OCFA website lists Sunday as D-Day for full containment. Approximately 28,445 acres have been burned thus far.

The fire had some 2,000 firefighters on the job at its peak, but an estimated 1,800 are out there now, Battalion Chief Kris Concepcion told the Weekly over the phone a few minutes ago. It's "strategic demobilization," he said. "We don't currently need everyone that's been out here." Well, good! Hell knows those kids need to get some shut-eye.

Picture: Concepcion illustrates the extent of the fire for reporters on Tuesday, 10/23.

Fall 2007 is all about practicality with Balenciaga. Sensible, functional separates were sent down that runway—and for once, one could almost(/kind of) justify buying a clothing item priced in the four-digit range.

Some of the biggest standout hits of the show included these fitted blazers with high-contrast trim, pictured left. And luckily, J. Crew (seriously: J. Crew) has come up with their own versions of these prep school designs gone high fashion in a variety of colors. Their double-faced wool Lexington jacket (pictured right) is the perfect solution to you not blowing that month's pay on a fall/winter statement piece.

Dress it up or dress it down (just be sure to layer heavily if you want to avoid looking uh, too J. Crew)—the jacket hits at the hip, has that same contrast piping, flap pockets, is fully lined and even features cute, little hand-painted buttons. Not tooooo bad for $250.

PUMPKIN CARVING CONTEST, 4pm
Get your creativity on. Compete in one of the four categories: Carved, Decorated, Painted, and Creations by children
Roger's Gardens, 2301 San Joaquin Hills Rd., Corona del Mar, (949) 640-5800
www.rogersgardens.com/seminars_listview.asp

JENNA BUSH BOOK SIGNING & DISCUSSION, 6pm
Meet & greet the chief’s daughter. She’s an author. Weird.
A Whale of a Tale, 4199 Campus Drive, Ste. A, Irvine, (949) 854-8288
www.awhaleofatale.com/documents/storeevents.pdf

NIGHTMARES & BEYOND, 6pm
Creepy haunted mansion. Only tonight and tomorrow night.
25272 Pacifica Ave., Mission Viejo
www.nightmaresandbeyond.com

SPOOKY HALLOWEEN MAGIC SHOW, 6:30pm
One for the kids (in costume if they wish).
El Modena Branch, 380 S. Hewes St., Orange, (714) 288-2450
www.cityoforange.org/depts/library/childrens_services/calendar.asp

ONEREPUBLIC, 8pm
It’s not too late to apologize…as long as you go. Doors open at 7pm.
House of Blues Anaheim, 1530 S. Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 778-BLUE
www.hob.com/tickets/eventdetail.asp?eventid=49062

• Moxley called it: Last night, the Los Angeles Times reported that OC Sheriff Mike Carona had been indicted on federal corruption charges. If you haven't already, read R.Scott Moxley's post on the subject, with links to his ballsy coverage of the official over the years. Note: The indictment is under seal but could be revealed later today.
• Santiago Fire update: Still 65 percent contained, but cooler weather is making a difference for firefighters. They are "battling the clock to smother the stubborn flames before dangerous Santa Ana winds return this weekend," reports the Reg. Full control is expected by Friday.
• Tentative settlement in Haidl case: A few weeks back, Moxley updated us on the whereabouts of Gregory Scott Haidl, Keith James Spann and Kyle Joseph Nachreiner, convicted for the videotaped rape and molestation of an unconscious 16-year-old girl in 2002. Today, the Register reports that "Jane Doe" tentatively reached a settlement in her civil lawsuit. She originally sought $26 million, but her attorney says the details of the settlement are private – including the amount she will be receiving.
• UCI Medical Center fires: The hospital has fired 13 nurses over the past three months, some of whom have over 20 years experience. UCI Medical Center won't say why.

To say that Indiefest/FAIF suffered from a few opening day jitters might be understating it a bit. The main Downtown Disney parking lot was barricaded off, the theater personal didn’t let anything start on time until Disney brass showed up and laid down some laws, and there were just a few projection errors – poor Chris Harrington saw his excellent Spanish language short “El Perfecto Percanse” projected without English subtitles. Running a film festival on three screens simultaneously is a lot of work, and from what I could see, festival organizer Ray Gibb and his partner Don (whose surname I cannot find anywhere in my press materials – sorry Don!) were having to run the whole thing by themselves. Get these men some volunteers, stat! They did a heroic job of getting things back on track, and we can probably expect smoother sailing in the next few days.

One thing I’ll say about the Disney AMC – its auditoriums are DARK. At most fests, I can take notes in the darkness, no problem, but here I couldn’t always tell if my pen was making a mark or not. Maybe my eyesight’s fading in my pre-middle-age. But I do eat carrots.

Christine Hanley at the Los Angeles Times is reporting late night that Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona (pictured in a Newport Beach bar with convicted felon Rick Rizzolo, a Chicago Mafia associate) "has been indicted on federal corruption charges stemming from a lengthy investigation into allegations that he misused his office for financial gain."

Larry Welborn and Peggy Lowe at the Orange County Register report tonight that George Jaramillo, Carona's handpicked ex-No. 2 at the department, secretly pleaded guilty in March in the same FBI corruption probe.

I could say, "I told you so," but I've just finished an 18-hour day of work. More on this historic news tomorrow.

Here are a few reminders that this media outlet told you what you needed to know first about Carona, recently named by the Weekly as one of the "scariest" people in OC:

*Dirty, Stupid or Both: Never mind the photo, Sheriff Carona denies Mafia ties

*Calamity Mike: X-rated recording is latest blunder for OC sheriff

*Blazing Saddles: Sheriff Carona takes his posse on a European tour

*Department of Homeland Stupidity: Master of Disasters Mike Carona breached secret anti-terrorism plans

*Sex, Bribes and Jailhouse Scams: Sheriff Carona working overtime to stop reports he's a serial adulterer

*Internal Affairs: Sheriff Mike Carona and his top deputy planned a dynasty but sex and money got in the way.

*Sheriff Funny Guy: Carona’s ironic reign

*Carona Cover-Up: Sealed records show sheriff's complicity in scandal

*Fourth Sheriff Carona Pal Convicted of Crimes

*Sheriff Con: Carona lied about his complicity in pot-bust scandal

*It's Saturday Night: Do You Know Who Our Sheriff is Hugging?

*Carona Lite

-- R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly / Orange County Weekly

Dog lovers and cruel cackling people who like to dress their pets in degrading outfits and drag them around town gathered in Long Beach yesterday for the Haute Dogs 7th Annual Howl’oween Parade. Livingston Park and 2nd Street were overtaken by more than 600 costumed creatures and countless spectators, many armed with cameras to document the somewhat head-scratching spectacle.

The day’s events started at 11 a.m. with a dog adoption fair that also featured specialized dog clothing, dog treats, dog toys and even a bulldog kissing booth.

After hoisting a 60 lb pumpkin high up into one of Livingston’s Parks many trees, the anxious crowd waiting below started counting down to the pumpkin’s smashing demise. Justin Rudd, the Executive Director of the Haute Dogs organization (which is under the nonprofit Community Action Team) related the dropping of the pumpkin to the dropping of the ball on New Year’s Eve in New York City - symbolic of a new start (or a great waste...think of all the pie we could've made...).

In honor of Halloween the OC Weekly has compiled a list of haunted Orange County locations courtesy the database of haunted places on Shadowlands.net.

So take some time and have a read. Even if you don't believe in ghosts, at least you can learn about some local legends and scare yourself silly! Mwahahaha!

Anaheim

Anaheim Fairfield Inn by the Marriott - This motel is right next to a freeway and is said to be haunted by a couple that died in a car accident.

Anaheim High School - A WWII bomb shelter supposedly rests under the school, and people claim to hear constant banging on the old, locked steel door at night - usually after football games.

Anaheim High School Theater - Voices have been heard in the auditorium and deep laughter on the balcony.

Chain Reaction - Employees report hearing talking and laughing late at night in the back alley and in the bathrooms. Upon investigation, no one is there. A homeless man was found dead in the back alley several years ago. The venue has been converted from a biker bar - where there were many reported stabbings - into the club it is now.

When a bogus post went up on a fake CNN website late last week with the headline: "Separatists Claim Responsibility for California Wildfires" and which included a "confirmation" by Gov. Schwarzenegger that MECha (the Aztlan-loving student group) had claimed responsibility for the fires, anti-immigrant websites spread the story, well, like wildfire.

Bloggers eagerly jumped at the fake bait and swallowed the hoax whole, calling for armageddon, a new Mexican-American war and anything else violent under the sun against all Mexicans everywhere before discovering the "lie" in "cnnheadLIEnews.com." (The site is no longer sporting the fake news report).

This year's edition of our annual Scariest People issue includes two entries from the Catholic Diocese of Orange: lead sex-abuse lawyer Peter Callahan and Varsity Gold, the high-school fundraising outfit that hired and proudly employees statutory rapist (and former Mater Dei boys' assistant basketball coach) Jeff Andrade. With those two entries, the Orange diocese enters the Weekly's record books as the organization with the longest consecutive streak of appearances in Scariest. The previous entries:

2006: The aforementioned Andrade.

2005: Former diocesan spokesman Joseph Fenton and parents at St. John the Baptist elementary school in Costa Mesa.

2004: Orange Bishop Tod D. Brown and diocesan counsel Maria Schinderle.

Amazingly, the Orange diocese even beats out two other Scariest standbys: the District Attorney's office and the Orange County Sheriff Department. In fairness to the OCSD, however, we estimate that Sheriff Mike Carona has made more individual appearances than anyone else--including this year.

• To catch an arsonist: "We will hunt down the people responsible for (the Santiago Fire). We will not fail," Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said over the weekend. "If I were one of those people who started the fire, I would not sleep soundly." Strong words, but how much weight do they carry? Four years ago, a man was witnessed starting the fire that killed four people and burned more than 200 homes in San Bernardino. Was he ever caught? Nope.
• Still on fire: Though containment is now at 65 percent, the Santiago fire continues to blaze its way towards Riverside. Firefighters had earlier said they hoped to fully contain the fire by Tuesday, but the Register reports that the latest projection for that is Friday.
• Bravo: Today's online OC page on latimes.com doesn't stray to Los Angeles and Sacramento like it usually does. Kind of sad that it takes a blaze of massive proportions to get attention for that section, but we'll take what we can get.
• Weird Val: Hollywood resident and songwriter Veronique "Weird Val" Chevalier trekked to Costa Mesa yesterday to stalk spoof radio jockey Dr. Demento, who was acting as grand marshal of the 10th Annual Trick or Treat Festival at the Orange County Fairgrounds. The Daily Pilot reports that the gal (who floated among the parked hearses dressed as Tim Burton's Corpse Bride) was trying to give him her demo CD - which Demento had refused at their last meeting.
• Moment of Zen: The British edition of GQ magazine today quotes Gov. Schwarzenegger on marijuana: "That is not a drug. It's a leaf." His spokespeople scramble to put a positive spin on the statement.

INDIE FEST USA/FAIF INTNL FILM FESTIVAL, 4:15pm, 7pm, 8pm, 9:30pm, 10pm
Numerous indie movies playing throughout the day. Check the website for more details.
AMC 12, Downtown Disney, 1565 S Disneyland Dr., Anaheim
www.indiefestusa.com/event.html

FONDUE FRIGHT NIGHT, 5pm
Kids eat for free, teens menu from $15. Plus, a costume contest.
The Melting Pot, 2646 Dupont Dr., Irvine, (949) 955-3242
www.themeltingpot.com/locations.aspx?z=&n=697571

COZY FALL DINNER, 6:30pm
More cooking.
Sur la Table, 832 Avocado Ave., Newport Beach, (949) 640-2330
www.surlatable.turnstilesystems.com/ProgramDetail.aspx/771010

THE HAUNTED CELLAR, 6:30pm
Hallowen-themed creepiness
Block at Orange, 20 City Blvd., Ste. 112, Orange
www.thehauntedcellar.com

KNOTT’S SCARY FARM, 7pm
One of the last few nights before the screams leave the park.
Knott’s Berry Farm, 8039 Beach Blvd., Buena Park, (714) 220-5200
www.knotts.com

• Police State: Politicians of both major political parties who are frightened by police unions have written laws that give police incredibly wide latitude to use force against citizens and keep their own wrongdoings secret. And, of course, police departments routinely grab even more power for themselves. Case in point: buried in a Los Angeles Times article this morning on police misconduct at a MacArthur Park immigration protest was a jewel straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. In 1996, LAPD wrote itself a bulletin that allows its officers to “classify” non-hostile citizens at rallies as “aggressive combatants” who can be clubbed with batons. Take a sip of your coffee and ponder that folks.
• Ask Two Mexicans? In a blatant attempt to cash in on our own Gustavo Arellano’s publishing success, Linda and Loretta Sanchez are writing a cookbook together. Well, they are not actually writing it. A ghostwriter will do the chore. And, yes, I was kidding about the cooking part. This week reporters witnessed the two women walk into a secret House ethics committee hearing with lawyer Stanley Brand. He also currently represents the homophobic Idaho U.S. senator who plays footsie with men in airport restrooms. Anyhow, the Sanchez ladies won’t talk about the planned contents of the book, but said they are seeking guidance about accepting an advance and the propriety of going on a book tour near the next federal election. Loretta did reveal that she’s being hush-hush because a book deal hasn’t been inked yet.
• Hair Today Gone Tomorrow: In August 2001, OC’s Ben Bennani flew to Philadelphia for $1,700 hair replacement surgery. But within an hour of the procedure, the new hair began to itch and, perhaps worse, move. Bennani asked for a refund and company officials said they’d put the check in the mail after he returned home. Turns out, as Dana Parsons writes today in his Times column, that the hair company was a fraud. But that’s only the beginning of Bennani’s nightmare.

Most reports are characterizing the federal response to the California fires as respectable --- or at least not a Katrina-style fuck up. So it's too bad FEMA had to go and embarrass itself by having fake reporters lob softball questions at a press conference earlier this week.

The agency apologized for the gaffe Friday, and on the bright side, none of the fake reporters are believed to be former gay male escorts.

How to go about this, when I've already written so much about this week in film?

Well, for starters, SAW IV is only a pick for hardcore SAW fans like me, and it's still likely to disappoint them a little bit.

FINISHING THE GAME, the Justin Lin comedy about the making of Bruce Lee's GAME OF DEATH, is recommended if you're a cinephile with a taste for indie comedy, and also just because it's worth encouraging Justin Lin's indie films rather than his big-studio paychecks. For more on this, read the interview with Lin in our current issue.

But the movie I'm most interested in seeing, despite many bad reviews, is SLIPSTREAM, directed by Anthony Hopkins in an apparent attempt to go all David Lynch on our asses. It's often a very bad sign when a new director tries to channel Lynch...but if Hannibal the freakin' cannibal wants to give it a shot, I'll give him all the benefit of my doubts.

That Joy Division movie CONTROL by Anton Corbijn looks like it might be pretty good, too...unless you hate Joy Division for some reason.

A lawsuit filed three years ago by three former Chapman University professors on behalf of the government [see "Litigating it Old School" Aug, 3] was dismissed by United States District Court for the Central District of California Oct. 22. The case was scheduled to begin a civil jury trial in two weeks.

Alleging that Chapman shortchanged its students and taxpayers by ignoring classroom hour requirements at its satellite campuses, the plaintiffs filed a sealed complaint in 2004 on behalf of the United States government under an 1863 law known colloquially as Lincoln’s Law, and sought damages that could have potentially amounted to a quarter of a billion dollars.

Chapman University, which until now has been fairly quiet about the case, issued a press release today with a quote from Gary Brahm, Chancellor of Chapman University College, which is Chapman's system of satellite campuses that were the subject of the suit.

Lionsgate films claim they make SAW movies for the fans, and while it's easy to be cynical about that claim, Sawfest was definitely a fan-friendly move – all four SAW movies on the big screen for the price of one ticket. Now, could it have been even better? Sure. Had I been in charge of marketing, I might have suggested maybe adding a higher-priced ticket that would include an “I survived Sawfest” t-shirt, or maybe a reduced admission for anyone coming in costume as Jigsaw, Amanda, or Billy the puppet. Make it a real EVENT, rather than just a quadruple-feature. Might have cost them a bit more money than they wanted to spend, though.

As it was, no-one showed up in any kind of costume at the Block AMC 30 last night. Only one person even had a SAW T-shirt. (I don't own a SAW shirt, but wore an ECW barbed wire shirt that vaguely resembles the Twisted Pictures logo). The theater wasn't even crowded. Horror fans might be able to kick the assses of Harry Potter fans one on one, but if it ever came down to a gang rumble we'd be hopelessly outnumbered and humiliated.

"Thank you heros" read a the words in neon orange, painted onto a plank propped against the corner of Modjeska Canyon Road and, ominously, Shadowland. The spelling was off, but the sentiment was genuine.

Photographer Christopher Victorio and I stood with our cameras at the side of the road, watching as two L.A. County Fire vehicles drove past the thank you note, each full of California inmates clad in orange.

Moments earlier, fire crew supervisor and 25-year LAFD vet Curt Hummel stopped to chat with us as his charges sat on the side of the road, taking a 15-minute break. The crew alternates between KFI and KFWB for news of the fire.

Hummel and his crew battled the Malibu flames on Sunday, and drove down to help at the OC fireline on Tuesday. They're in better shape than they have been in previous days, says Hummel, who managed to get a whopping seven hours of sleep last night.

"Crews are stretched so thin right now that there are twice as many fires as there are crews," he said. So Gov. Schwarzenegger authorized the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation to send their inmates out to help firefighters.

What do they get out of it? About $1/hr and two days off their sentences for every day served, Terry Thornton of the CDCR told the Weekly. More than 75 of these inmates are currently working on the Santiago Fire. (Update at 5 p.m. 226 are at the Santiago Fire.)

More details behind the cut:

Sometimes to fit an interview to available print space, you lose a few quotes -- so here are a few more observations by Joe Rogan:

On Fear Factor:
"I would show up and go, ‘Really…come on! For real?’ And I couldn’t believe the people were willing to do some of the stuff! I mean, that was half of it. I was like, ‘They said they would do it?’ And it was mind-boggling to me. You would think that, to me, it would seem more normal because I was the host, but I couldn’t believe half the stuff we were doing while we were doing it."

• It's Day Six and the Santiago fire is still only 30 percent contained. Fourteen homes were destroyed, and 750 more are threatened in Silverado Canyon. The Register reports that a liquid was used to ignite the blaze along Santiago Canyon Road at two separate points. Sheriff Carona says his department had received 250 tips thus far, but no suspects have been named. A $250,000 reward has been put out for information leading to the arrest of the responsible parties.
• Blame Game: Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair may be all praises for Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's response to the fires, but others are saying he was too slow, especially when it came to getting much needed firefighting aircraft into the murky SoCal skies.
• OC Hospital Fined: The Garden Grove Hospital and Medical Center is among nine hospitals the state is fining $25,000 for "infractions that put patients at imminent risk of injury or death," reports the Los Angeles Times.
• Against Adult Halloween: "Holidays are for children and conservatives," writes LAT columnist Joel Stein, who comes out against adults celebrating Halloween in today's edition. "It's transforming formerly child-friendly costume shops from fun-creepy into Chris Hansen-creepy." Stein proposes a new holiday, "Slut Day," for those horny Halloweeners. "It will take place the first Saturday of every August, a time both barren of holidays and plenty hot enough for really degrading costumes."
• Today at the OC Fairgrounds: The 10th annual Trick or Treat Festival goes on from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. today. Details over at the Daily Pilot. More things to do over at Rachel Leeson's daily To Do Tonight roundup.

PAGEANT OF THE MONSTERS, 6pm
Check out this haunted house created by the Pageant of the Masters' talented team of artists and
technicians. If not tonight, you have Oct 27-28, 31.
Festival of Arts / Pageant of the Masters, 650 Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach, (949) 494-1145
www.pageanttickets.com/site/calendar.asp

ANAHEIM FALL FESTIVAL, 6pm
Opening night for this three day festival.
Downtown Anaheim
www.spidergraphix.com/downtownanaheim/FallFestival.cfm
www.anaheim.net/event/date.asp?calID=1&date=10/26/2007

MOONLIGHT PADDLE, 7pm
Enjoy a bit of kayaking.
Newport Aquatic Center, 1 Whitecliff Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 646-7725
www.newportaquaticcenter.com/MOONLIGHT_PADDLE.pdf

VELVET REVOLVER, 7:30pm
Music fix. Doors open at 6:30pm.
Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, 8808 Irvine Center Dr., Irvine
www.livenation.com/event/getEvent/eventId/293109 Scratch that, they've canceled due to the fire.

DANA CARVEY, 8pm
“We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!” Catch this SNL great. Doors open at 6:30pm.
The Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2700
www.thegroveofanaheim.com

If you're among the praying, the Council on American-Islamic Relations invites ye of any faith to join in a special prayer at the Islamic Society of Orange County in Irvine tonight at 6:30. The prayer of Salatul Istisqa is a call for rain usually offered in times of drought.

"Americans of all faiths need to offer spiritual assistance to the courageous firefighters who are battling these deadly fires," said CAIR's executive director in a press release.

I'd hate to rain on anyone's prayer-ade, but there's virtually zero chance of rain for at least the next 10 days. But I guess that's not really the point. In times of crisis, a Hail Mary or Salatul Istisqa might not put out the fires, but group prayer, such as the impromptu sessions by evacuees at Qualcomm Stadium, offers a sense of connection and hope in the face of hell.

If it's Halloween, it must be Saw. So says the maddeningly elliptical trailer for Saw IV, anyway. Now, it isn't considered particularly popular or PC to admit liking these movies -- they tend to be glibly dismissed as "torture porn" by would-be aesthetes who can't be bothered to pay attention -- but it's interesting to note that they're finally getting the "geek" treatment: Tonight, starting at 6 pm., theaters around the country will show all three previous Saw films back-to-back, then follow up with the newest installment at midnight.

Now, Saw may not have much in common with The Lord of the Rings, but one trait they do share is that most of the fans own extended cuts of the movies that are usually improvements on the theatrical version. In the case of the Saw sequels, that often means uncensored scenes of gore, though the first film actually underwent a whole new color-correction for the director's cut DVD, as well as some significant music changes. So will the fans turn out in droves to see the shorter versions all in a row?

If you call the eternal inferno of hell your home, the fires that have so far scorched 450,000+acres might seem quaint by comparison. Then I guess it should come as no surprise that many people's own personal Satan, VP Dick Cheney, dozed off in a Wednesday cabinet meeting as Bush discussed the ongoing efforts to contain the fires.

The Decider himself landed in Southern California today and photo-oped the hell out some of the hardest hit areas. Though his less than inspiring platitudes offer little comfort -- really, you think "It's a sad situation"? Thanks for the leadership, Prez -- here's hoping the federal purse stings are loosened in response to the presidential tour and "major disaster" designation.

And let's all pray that Cheney can finally get a good night's sleep.

Some readers have shared their fire photos with us. Click the photo to see them. So far, we have snaps of the blaze from Rancho Santa Margarita, Lake Forest and Foothill Ranch. Send yours to jpkahn@ocweekly.com with a short description (and the photographer's name) and we'll add them to the slideshow.

Photo by Mike Funk.